Drumpf Solves World Peace, Brangelina; Batboy Bobbled Brady's Balls

Breakfast time, Sunday morning. 

On weekends, I get to make fancier brunches than my weekday protein and frothy fruity shakes. Imma want cauliflower with onion fried in chile/lime olive oil (a homemade infusion, I'm trying to get a bit crunchier) with apple-chicken sausage and scrambled eggs. Checking the refrigertator, except the oil I got about none of that. 

Off to Cub, doop-doop-de-doop, shoppity-shop, I feel my plaid pajama bottoms are not congruous with the families coming home from church, bobbidybap, at checkout, 

HOLY BALLS!

Iwon'tthrowupIwon'tthrowup

A lot of people see this rag since it is featured prominently, top shelf, front of the checkout, in every grocer in the country. The publisher, some cat name of David Pecker, famously friendly to the Illegitimate President-Elect of the US, Comrade Gropenfuhrer. 

Over the years, the Enquirer has gotten a few very high-profile things right. Enough that it is not immediately discounted even by people who should know better. Hell, I've said, when they reported something I find favorable, "Well, hey, they were right on John Edwards, they were right on Limbaugh being a junkie, they were right on the Cosby kid."

This attitude ignores much.

It ignores that although they were right in some cases, each of those instances started out as hatchet jobs. The Enquirer somehow stumbled erection first through a minefield of mousetraps and found a patty-melt with tots. Yay them.

It ignores that in these FEW instances where the Enquirer was actually right, they were memorable because the Enquirer is so often;  

• incredibly wrong
• doing meaningless fluff
• 4 words: Make Money At Home
• 
  

You don't remember the headlines about Princess Diana's long-lost evil twin, Jehosaphialy Duggar, being the secret brains behind the burgeoning Hollywood conservative movement of Vince Vaughn, Gary Sinese, Mel Gibson, and Meatloaf, because they weren't quite as correct.

Here, though, positioned prominently as you stand in line with your loaves and fishes, is one of the few pictures of the Shitgibbon where he does not look like a big toe with some form of Orange Foot Rot. Giving him an early promotion to POTUS, the walking Cheetoh is seen promising war on, and death to, the Yellow Peril and 'the evil a-rabs'*, as his frothing cult exults in madness. Finding the real hackers? His inbred mouth-breathing acolytes couldn't define hacking, much less piece together the breadcrumbs leading to the GRU/FSB actors behind it. They just think "Well, Abby and McGee can type with four hands on the keyboard faster than the hacker, so we win!" 

All I'm saying is that, suppose we get the major hard news outlets to remember to afflict the comfortable, and comfort the afflicted?

In print circulation, the Enquirer is quite competitive with all of the legacy organs, WaPo, NYTimes, Dallas Morning News. We still have a long way to go.

*No, the irony of 'the evil a-rabs' when the Persians would in fact be the original Aryans, so celebrated by these Nazi scumbags, does not escape me.

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Now, for the greater question.

IS BATBOY IMPLICATED IN 'DEFLATEGATE'?

Yes. Quo Vadis, bitches.