Friday, October 14, 2016

The Cheerleading Post

We are very close to being terminally screwed.

Yes, paleo is squeaking about the 2016 election cycle.

Briefly, let’s review. I was on Team Sanders. (Yes, you may kill me for using that phraseological construction. Please wait until I vote.) I had no particular issue with Sec’y Clinton, other than she has always seemed to be somewhat to the right of me. I didn’t expect Sen. Sanders to win, he is not nearly the politician she is (to get elected, being a competent politician is helpful, and I will not use the word ‘politician’ as a pejorative – Keith Ellison is a polished politician, as is Russ Feingold, as is President Obama. Being a bad person does not comment upon your political skills; it just says you’re a douchebag, or a ‘Ryan’), and he got stomped (yes, stomped – by 3 million primary votes, and by being nearly shut out in states that had primaries, as opposed to caucuses). However, I believed he would be invaluable in pulling the Democratic Party back to the left. In general, save the gun thing, I preferred his politics.

Sec’y Clinton won the nom, and I’m fine with that. DO NOT GET OVERCONFIDENT, but I expect her to win. I’m fine with that. Actually, learning more about her during this run (there is a Frontline biography on her, part of a special on both candidates' biographies) that shows her to be quite a remarkable person. And hearing her on the stump, and watching her on the debates, I’m content.

Trump was, remains, and will continue to be a human shitnado, assault/pedophilia/creepitude allegations or not, he’s a monster. Everyone knew this even before the recent revelations, including Malaria, but don’t cry for her, she’s getting her silver. He could be a saint around women, but every other aspect of his life STILL shows him to be a jackal. This ‘alpha-male’ shit is the fucking awful capstone, but he was never human in the first place.

Gary Johnson may be the single least informed, deliberately least curious public figure of today. Dumb as a brick. And fucking evil. Jill Stein has a coterie of assistants with metering equipment to make sure there are no aerosolized vaccines in her air supply. Evan McMullin? No. Srsly. Who in hell is Evan McMullin?

"Bloody hell, paleo, you seem almost vaguely upbeat! Why, then, would consider us to be near existential fuckitude?"

Glad you asked.

There is the obvious. The worthless hillbillies who would throw themselves in front of a train for Trump, if only so SmallHands could grab their daughters’ genitalia, ain’tn’t going gently into that good night. These people are freaks, violent, and frequently armed. They will not accept a Trump loss (“oh oh oh it was fixed by n****r Jewish sp**s who want to teach f****t evolathiesm to our white children”), they will respond in the only way they know – lashing out and trying to kill anything that scares them. With education, there is hope for their grandchildren, but a 60 year-old skinhead-in-all-but-name cannot be reasoned with.

What must be added, and is in fact the more important issue, is on the meta-level. With Sec’y Clinton having a respectable lead and a likely win by the scientific poll aggregators, I have been hearing the folks in my camp say things to the effect of ‘Okay, soon it will finally be over’.

No, it won’t soon be over.

Democracy does not end at the voting booth. And we all have to hold everyone's feet to the fire. Always. Building a civil society is a crappile of work. We must all stay involved, constantly, starting right at the local level.

Let your school board know that religion and education don't mix. Let your city council know about that needed stoplight and upgraded sewer system. Let your state rep know that MN needs statewide broadband and public transportation. Let your federal reps know that everyone on Wall Street is scum and needs to go to jail until they can be swept up and put in a dustbin. Were Sen. Sanders to have become the President, I'd be screaming at him daily about guns.

Keep pushing every day.

When you vote, go home, and say, ‘okay, done my duty’, you fail democracy. If everyone votes, goes home, and says, okay, done my duty’, democracy fails.

There are a helluva lot more people on Team Terminally Screwed (again, words do not lend themselves to goddammit Twilight-fan memes. Kill me on November 9).

Vote, you bastards. (Vote Democratic at all levels should be understood, but nevertheless, vote.) And then start calling and writing. We have emails – no more stamps, folks. Phone plans with unlimited minutes. Supporters of Sen. Sanders – he made an amazing showing. If you want the D’s to move left, take that energy and get involved. Stay involved. Run for dog-catcher, then city council, then mayor, then Congress, and keep going so I can crabass at you electronically in 10 years. I’m old and tired, and can only give some campaign money and write this nonsense to my audience of 3.1415927 individual readers, so work hard for Uncle paleo in his dotage. Please.

First, though, start with voting.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Politics Is The Art Of Turning Lunacy Into Policy

Seeing a lot of Democratic Party cannibalism these days. What the hell I don't even...

So, I supported Sanders through most of the primary, he in fact won the MN primary. I did this knowing that he was not and never would really be a member of the Democratic Party (Sec'y Clinton has done the rubber chicken circuit for Dems for years) and knowing he was a gunhumper (Sec'y Clinton is very much not). I preferred the rest of his platform to hers, knowing that it was mostly aspirational, and would at least pull the Party back from the center, which, given the Overton window, is pretty horrible. No we were never getting free college and single-payer after one election. Never. Nope. It will take several cycles and some damn actual Democrats in Congress. Politics simply doesn't work that way, and frankly representative democracy has worked pretty damn well over time, all things considered.

The other option? The REVOLUTION? Bullshit.

You know what happens in a revolution? A shitpile of people get hurt badly, and they are, French Revolution notwithstanding, usually the powerless. Would I like to see a guillotine permanently installed on Wall Street? Hells yeah. But that will happen when I grow a tail.

I didn't turn on Senator Sanders until the end of primary bullshit, when, after he'd won the platform battle, he still pouted. And a significant number, maybe 15-20%, of his supporters (Jill 'Science is just an illuuuusion.' Stein

and Gary Johnson? Have you actually read his CV and the Libertoonian Party Platform?) are still pouting. Politics is WORK, y'all. Dreaming is good, but without translating dreams into a metric fuckton of ridiculously hard work over a pretty fair period of time, it remains dreams. The rewards go to those who show up.

The monsters on the right wing? Both the Deplorables and the Executives? They've been showing up without fail for 45 years. And anyone who guarantees Senator Sanders would be ahead at this point is delusional. It would be close, he might have even been slightly ahead for some time because Trump is a sociopath, just really that bad, Stop-And-Frisk you racist motherfucker? You know, where we are right now. But we'd hear commercial after commercial of SSOOOOSHULISSTTICISM (as opposed to commercial after commercial of SHE HAS PARKINSONAIDSEBOLAHYSTERICALPREGNANCY) and Americans are easily led and lied to. I don't know how Sec'y Clinton would perform as President; I like the party platform, I don't listen to the right wing smear machine (dumbass bastards have brought up Vince Foster again??!), certainly she wouldn't be as conciliatory as President Obama, and about damn time someone takes a stick to the Republican curs, but she (or a President Sanders) would still have to work with a Republican House (Senate seems to be a near-tossup, dammit Nate Silver) and politics as a nasty game where no-one gets their wishlist. 


President Trump with a Republican House and Senate, at which point Ryan and McTurtle will cream in their jeans, possibly together, big ol' goddamn 'IT"S PAYDAY!!!' circle-jerk, and throw every right wing fascist fantasy up knowing that Trump will sign anything for them. That's why most modern establishment Pubs haven't actually come out against Trump, they may not like him but he'll do no actual work as President except sign anything put in front of him.

My two cents, meh.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Open Packer Thread On A Phone? This May Suck But It's Stuff


Game starts at 7:30, Packers-Queens. So, predictions. 

In the new goddamn Sand-Crawler Stadium, which is why this game will be closer than is necessarily comfortable, teh Home Opener©®™ of the new money pit. Packers 23 - MN 20. 

Sam Bradford has a strong accurate arm, brains of tapioca, and a receiving corps that could be shut down by a Div. II high school. Should be weird. 

Sweetie will waggle her fingers at Rodgers as if he will notice through the TV, leave the field, drive the 3 miles to my house and take her away from a life of endless paleononsense. Protip: he won't. Second protip: no, he's not cute either.  

Imma be back on here at about 7. Probably have to do this as a comment thing. TTFN!

Monday, August 15, 2016

And The Goddammit Beat Goes On.

Our house is a one-man crime wave. Oh, and fuck metaphors.

We had a break-in a week ago. Late Sunday night. We were out like the proverbial LED fixture, maybe 1:30am. Jaxson started barking. This is not unusual, he’d been squabbling with the cats earlier, but he’d gone upstairs, Sweetie and I were vaguely conscious now, so she went up to let him out or yell at the cats or let the cats out and yell at him or it was 1:30am, who the hell knows.

Sweetie got to the top of the steps and noticed the door from the house to the garage was open. Her first concern was the cats getting out so she checked the main garage door, it was closed, phew, she could get some treats to get the cats back in.

Then she noticed one cat was still in the kitchen and the passage door from the garage was propped open with a gallon jug of distilled water. Very uncatlike behavior. Her brain was defuzzing now, and she checked the other house doors, a light was on in the living room but the door was closed – the back door of the house, out to the yard, was wide open, yard lights were on. She came down and got me, said “I think someone’s been in the house”, suddenly now I’m quite wide awake, I grabbed a bat*, we went upstairs, Jaxson staying with us, house is devoid of bastard, into the living room, both laptops were gone, she’s already calling the cops. I, in retrospect stupidly, alone, went out to check the vehicles. Both were fine but my truck was unlocked, I suck at life, by the way, fuck me, the garage door opener was gone, along with an old iPhone I was using basically as an iPod. My wallet had been gone through but only about $15 in cash taken, the wallet was left with all cards and ID, another $20 taken off the counter. Jaxson is a goddamn hero. He has been treated and treat-ed really damn well for a week. It was pretty clear Jaxson had chased he/she/them off and they just grabbed the most obvious shit. Why didn’t Jaxson react immediately? He/she/they did have a couple minutes, to open a second door, turn on some lights. Our guess is that because we have a rather jangled family lifestyle, someone coming in at 1:30am is not always particularly unusual, at least, it used to be not particularly unusual, and he wouldn’t go nuts immediately, but he undoubtedly dragged hisself up and went upstairs expecting skritches and found it was not someone we knew. Jaxson is a goddamn hero, is what I’m saying. He was up there with Sweetie while I was still trying to figure out what socks are. Goddammit.

So the police came, I used my phone to change every password for every site I used for my laptop, I didn’t do any business on it thank FSM because I don’t trust electronic business practices, and hers was password protected, so I’m not extraordinarily worried, just ordinarily worried, about ID theft. So very angry at myself.

Many steps are being taken, we are getting a monitored system and I’ve done some security upgrades and doing more, but mostly we have to use caution. How do we do that without feeling like prisoners within our own homes? Don’t know. I have had a week of poor sleep, paranoia, savage revenge and booby-trap fantasies in my brain, and I don’t like it, really don’t like brain right now. It could have been infinitely worse, I’m under no illusions, there is some #privilege speaking, I know, we have good lives. By the way, you can’t buy razor wire commercially. Life continues, we’re relaxing some. Watched a movie called ‘Ogre’, so our sense of humor is returning. She’s been through this before, many years ago, I have not, she’s hardly overjoyed but I’m taking it worse and angrier, she’s just pushing the solutions. I married well out of my league.


*I work with any number of gun-nuts, and haven’t told them about this, because I don’t want the conversation with them that I had with a friend who CC’s, but he’s not a sociopath. I don’t have a handgun. Still ain’t gonna get a handgun. Hate the filthy things, don’t want them in the house. The furthest I’ve even thought in that direction is getting a beanbag barrel for the shotgun, still not entirely out of the question, but she really doesn’t like the thought. A big part of the reason I don’t want a goddamn gun in the house is exactly the situation we had that night. Sleep-fuzz plus confusion plus sudden adrenaline burst plus artificial penis equals fucking disaster. And suppose the other party had a gun as well? With them wide awake, alert, and having the, to use a stupid term, ‘drop’ on me? To my friend, I started to say “When you have a gun, you have to be prepared to-“ and my friend finished “-use it.” “No”, I said, “to kill.” I’m not prepared to kill over a couple old computers, and if he/she/they had hurt my wife or pets, I don’t care what they are armed with, with my last breath I would have shown them their own throat. This criminal was just looking to grab and go, it seems there is a (professional?) ring of these bitches hitting the TCs right now, people in the house, people not in the house, always looking to go in through the garage, and there are detectives working on it, we’ve found out, so they’re taking it quite seriously, our stuff is long gone but everyone is safe. A gun would only have escalated the situation to very conceivably deadly proportions. Fuck that and fuck gun-nuts and fuck guns.

Friday, July 29, 2016

Seventy-Five Thousand Hits! And Some Actual Stuff...

Several dozen of which are not from pornbots! Yay ME!

Okay, so I'm a happy democrat. I believe we are better than the cons, and I want us to be better. I was a Senator Sanders supporter, we lost the primary, but won the platform. So I'm With Her. I reject the social view of the cons, that people are evil and require a Bearded Sky-Daddy or a three-year-under-the-car-seat Cheetoh to keep us, well, a certain some of us, in line, and believe that working together, truly together, we can be better still. (Naive, huh. YMMV, I sleep well, fuck you.) I believe in redemption, not in the religious sense (while my own beliefs are plentiful, if perhaps a tetch out of the mainstream, I do not believe in Religion™), but in the sense that you can rejoin the Human Race.

Why the prelude? I have a couple notes on redemption.

Yesterday I listened to an interview yesterday with a gentleman named Michael Brodkorb, who used to be a highly mucked mucky-muck in the Minnesota Republican structure.  He was a bad man. No worse than most Republicans, so verrrrry bad. The MN Pub Party at the time of his deputy chairmanship was responsible for a lot of evil. Then he was brought down brutally. (The above link addresses the general outline). Hey, won't lie, I was happy. Ecstatic, even. Then he nearly waxed hisself in a car accident. Hey, I won't lie, I'M NOT A REPUBLICAN. I DO NOT CELEBRATE DEATH. Well, he started, while stating that he remained a Republican, and not really apologizing for his past as an arsonist, a bit of a public, penance?, um, re-branding perhaps? (to be cynical, which I'm trying to stop doing), less obviously partisan, more analytical of communications strategies. And he found a case, a case of parental interference with custody, which was no more and no less than kidnapping and giving children to slavers, the Sandra Grazzini-Rucki case. His work (best source is Missing In Minnesota, his blog aggregating his reporting on this case) helped blow it open, and she was just convicted.

He hasn't spoken of his political affiliation recently that I could find, and if he remains Republican, I am certainly more likely to disagree with him than agree, but he seems to have achieved some legitimate level of purpose, seems to be sane, and to be clear, is 11,468% on the good side here.

This is a path to real redemption.


There have been a couple stories in the last couple of DNC convention days about national Republicans at least applauding, never agreeing with but being satisfied with, the Democratic National Convention. Other stories this morning have cons slapping down the Coultergeist for her tweet about the family of Capt. Humayan Khan, a soldier who saved his unit at the cost of his life, speaking at the DNC. She sweetly pointed out that OH MY GOD AN ACCENT.

Erick SonofErick'sonsonrick, author if the philosophical treatise 'David Souter is a goat-fucking child molester' was outraged, OUTRAGED, by teh Human Chew Toy insulting Muslims. Amanda Carpenter, accused by Donald Trump of boinking overripe canteloupe Ayatollah Cruz, says 'gee, the DNC has found religion'.


ALL THESE PEOPLE LOVE EVERYTHING TRUMP SAYS. They wish they had the balls or vag to say it out loud theyselves (well, I guess Erickson usually does, but eyewash). You too, Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver Paul Ryan. Carpenter worked for Sen. James Inhofe, climate change denier extraordinaire. John Podhoretz, (son of Norman Podhoretz, an early neo-con who never met a Palestinian genocide that he disliked or an african-american he liked), an EARLY SCOTT WALKER fan who also called Marco Useless Rubio "Perhaps the best extemporaneous political speaker of our time", thereby showing off his political instanks.

At best, these filthy monsters have a basic, gutter understanding of the political winds and want to preserve their 'reputations'. On the continuum, several of those quoted had other horses in the race than Trump and are hoping for their instanks to be hailed as the best extemporaneous political instanks of our time. At the other end of the spectrum, at the worst, they are trying to drive wedges into the Democratic support, "Oh, look, Killary is a Republican, all you filthy hippies are having your rights tarnished, Bernie could have beat Trump with ??? and progress". Ratfucking 101. (And it will work on Susan Sarandon.)

This is NOT redemption, or suddenly being fair, or being tempered with age. I'd never expect them to go full liberal, but one can become sane. These people do not disagree ONE WORD with the Flatulent Baboon, or Coultergeist.

They may understand optics well enough to realize his convention was a shitstorm of extraordinary magnitude, but they don't disagree with a Single. Fucking. Word.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

News Thingies

Dateline: Philadelphia
July 26, 2016

Melania Trump To Speak Later This Week: "I Have Some New Thoughts"

Dateline: Moscow
July 27, 2016

Putin In Hospital With Orange Hand: Says Spox, "He Had It Stuck In Something"

Dateline: Indianapolis
July 27, 2016

Pence: "My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken ME"

Dateline: Pensacola, FL
July 28, 2016

Stolichnaya Truck Stolen

Tragic Baboon Deaths At Pensacola Zoo: Keeper "I've Never Seen This Sort Of Savagery", "Didn't Know You Could Do That With A Salad Tongs"

Fmr Gov Jeb Bush In Hospital, "Exhaustion": Says Dr. Rudolph Hilter, Family Physician

Sunday, July 17, 2016



The new Ghostbusters is out. For months, many so-called 'men' have been complaining about wrecked childhoods because cooterdust. Or whatever. Most of these so-called men lack personal experience with, ummm, well, really, women in general, much less mouth-to-ladybits communication. Also these so-called men are dipshits who should be encouraged to explore the effects of diesel tailpipes upon scuba mouthpieces. The original was quite funny, I had the T-shirt myself. But, it was not Young Frankenstein. Quit witcher dog-whistles, we know what you are saying, own it you punkass bitches.

While I was not enthused by the first trailer, the pieces that have leaked out have been better. I had been likely to see it. I don't know the actresses save Melissa McCarthy, and I'm not particularly a fan, she's ok, wevs. I enjoy light science fiction/comedy in general, including one of my all-time favorite films:

  • I. Loved. The Last Starfighter. I will go full DeathBlossom on anyone who disagrees, because they are failed at evolution. Always trust Centauri. 

Meteorologically speaking, Twister sucks on ice, but I'll watch it anytime I see it's on. Hell, I even rather enjoyed Evolution; bugger off.

Reviews so far have been basically, "If you're not expecting Citizen Kane, or even Candy Cane's First Lesbian Macramé Adventure, you'll have some fun. Don't overthink it, just enjoy it." So fine.

"But paleo, after saying it looks okay, you are saying that you had been likely to see it. Now you're not. Typical libtard cuck commie islamist elitist zionist fascist, uhhh, beta, respective vaginas, hah gotcha, Trump!" Well, oh Dweller In The Basement, the movie still looks fine. It's going to make the Netflix list, but:

Whilst waiting for Sweetie to get ready to go to the Co-op, I am watching The Mummy (w/ Brendan Frasier - again, as long as ya don't think too hard, enjoyable as all get out), and commercial breakage comes up. Oh, my, errr, it's ahhh, Ghostbusters tie-in, pizza, ohfuckfuckFUCK Papa John's, with the goddamn criminal filth Schnatter dressed in teh Beige Coveralls.

I realize, I do, that all marketing departments are useless gits, and given the job of promoting Citizen Kane, or Candy Cane Visits A KY Factory With Six Portable Generators And A Funk Band, would put out a line of action figures. And I'd buy the full Candy Cane Collection. The marketing team doesn't care about the movie, especially arthouse films like the Candy Cane series. The production team does not get too involved on the marketing end, other than direct promotion of the movie. Production holds no part in what I am about to say.

I cannot reward, in any way, any product, that would in any form, allow itself, either directly or indirectly, to be associated with a bloodthirsty monster like John Schnatter. If there is such a thing as universal justice, he would be in the first group up in the dock for crimes against humanity and the American worker. Fuck him, fuck his corporate board, fuck Peyton Manning. He needs to be in Supermax until he can be swept up and put in a dustbin.

And anyone who can stand his quasi-pizza needs a tastebud transplant. Jes' sayin'.