Mark III - Of Course I Start With A Rant

Hi!

Okay, now that that is done...

On another blog, the question was raised:

I hear you but I'm talking about true believers. Is there some level of moral correctness or some social endpoint that a Republican sees that is so beneficial? Has any social scientist or polling outfit done this? What is their dream state? What's it look like to them?

My answer:

So, Republicans hit their first goal, theocracy. Abortion is illegal, the gays are executed, the atheists are executed, dug up, and executed again, anyone failing the Stay-Puft test is enslaved, women are enslaved, TurboJesus comes back and whacks the Jews. Yay them.

Then a crack appears.

The Southern Baptists and most Independent churches hate the Catholics. Nearly as much as they hate the above groups. Whelp, gotta go. Streets get slippery again.

Episcopalians? Waffling fucks. They were never TRULY on board with the abortion/gay/atheist/POC/women/Jews purge. These puddles are getting deep, and does anyone recommend a good laundry detergent for bloodstains on doubleknit slacks?

Amish, Mennonites, Quakers, all 14 Shakers left? 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses? FUCKERSI mean, they're weird. Move to higher ground, resume operations.

Methodists. A bunch of thugs, pugs, and mugs. Nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers. Hey Most Right Reverend Robertson?! No, not you Pat, Phil, Phil has some upper body strength. My arm is getting tired, can you do axe duty today? Plus I wrenched my back when my foot skidded out from under me on that last swing.

The Non-Denoms. You know, they really don't say Jesus much. It's all Purpose Driven this, Your Best that. We can't take any chances, we're getting so close. No more high ground though, do you think we can find some wellies in the husk of the Anglican church?

PROSPERITY BASTARDSI mean, apostates. Never even once heard them speak in the angelic language humminahummina. Nope. Look, goddamnit-er, gee golly, Benny, I've sharpened this axe so much it's a toothpick. Do you have a pocket knife or a dive bomber?

Okay, okay, good. 50,000 of us, plus, you know, slaves, concubines. Concubine slaves. Great government. Heaven on earth. Of course, Franklin is getting a bit big for his britches, I'm not sure how godly he is...