Saturday, July 26, 2014

Random Thoughts and Pointed Anger

I'm annoyed on many fronts, infuriated on several more, so this is gonna be one of those pot pourer thingies. To preface, I have bile in my bladder, and hate, burning, like a thousand million very vigorous exothermic reactions, in my molybdenum.

- Its been a great year for Lil' Waynie LaLil'Peter, so many many pointless deaths! So many goddam lunatics!
I'll say these things out loud again. Stringent, stringent licensing for carry of any sort - basically, if you feel a need to carry a gun, you should not ever have a carry permit. Serious reform of the police, including firing and confiscating the weapons of about 85% of the cops extant. Pay the good cops what they're worth. All confiscated weapons should immediately go to the nearest smelter. Close the gun shows...period. I'm fucking tired of the penis replacements. A guy in Minnesota ambushed his neighbor because she yelled at him for riding his mower on her lawn, she survived. But the excuse given is that he had PTSD. "Well, paleo, what are you gonna do?" Hmmm.

Please to kindly fasten seatbelt before driving off the cliff. I don't need to see any last minute gymnastics.

- The radio announcer for newsbreaks @JimMiklaszewski , known for bloody horrible jokes-
"And now there is a new way to wipe your ass! Yes, that's right, a carwash designed for donkeys has just opened..." 
must be fed to ravenous ducks, then nuked from orbit, but he did not touch this dumb person. A radio announcer from an internet station said 
(para) "the tree in Griffith Park, Los Angerless, dedicated to former Beatle George Harrison has been guffaw chuckle snort pees self eaten by beetles! Whocouldanode! Oh the irony! Oh the humanity!" dies
Shut up. Trees eaten by beetles? You've just described half of life in the Twin Cities. Its a big circle. The beetles eat the trees, the trees die, the city replants the trees, my dog eats the trees. Please note please, the Beatles were not playing amateur ornithopterists when they came up with their name, they were making a play off of Buddy Holly and the Crickets.

- By the way, George Harrison is the second greatest former Beatle, based solely on 

Listen now please.
Greatest former Beatle? Ringo. Full stop, I'm right, bugger off. While Paul was writing 'Liverpool Oratorio' , Ringo was touring with Joe Walsh. While John Lennon was in a 5 year alcoholic haze before giving half of his comeback album to Yoko Ono, Ringo was in "Caveman". Ringo always remembers it's just rock and roll, have fun and give thanks you can have a career where you can have fun. And 

is awesome.
(Also, Yoko Ono is awesome. Loves me some Yoko. She does not give a flying dammit what anyone, including me thinks of her. She can't fucking sing. She doesn't care about my opinion. Swoon!)

- I listen to a lot of podcasts, and have recently found and listened to Clyde Lewis, Portland OR radio/internet presence. Think Alex Jones without the permanent aneurysm and with a sense of humor. I know, me, right? Loves me some weirdness. I can peel through the eps to avoid the 'faked moon landing' stuff. About six months ago, he babbled about the Hollywood Sex Magick Underground, Miley Cyrus as the Trickster devil baby panda sidecar burrito, acid and sacrifice. I call it Tuesday. He is worried about the resurgence of the Satanic Panic. Ummm.
There was a real Satanic Panic in the 70's and 80's, and it wasn't about consenting adults, twerking, snorfing down every powder in sight, wiring their lesbionic accessories to the nearest 480V outlet. Real people got hurt, by cops and prosecutors seeing a sexy way to drum up business and budgets, by people looking for answers in tragedies with no answers, by worthless preachers using the threat of SATAN to protect children from thinking. People spent time in prison because prosecutors and psychologists manipulated children. Actual cases of child abuse were not enough - now there had to be baby sacrifice. Ignoring the wave of babies not being kidnapped. Pat Pulling and Bothered About Dungeons and DragonsI feel bad for her kid, feel bad for the obvious problems she had. My parents were bothered about D&D, primarily the part where I would disappear Friday at about 7pm and show up Sunday for church. We became experts at casting one spell - Repel Chicks. Goddamit, lady person, we were just little frakkin nerds, for Sauron's sake.
I apologize for this.
So Clyde, don't pretend that a bunch of Hollywood idiots playing as if they were the London Hellfire Club are any sort of trend towards armegeddon. Hell, I loves me some Miley Cyrus - she wins the Golden Troll forevah. Not especially curious about her latest chart-topper but wevs. Have fun, Miles!

(Oh, and Kennedy? I take the position of Bill Hicks, when he explained why people can't go up to the window of the Texas Book Depository Assassination Museum - because you'll look out the window and "THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY!" Oswald was very likely involved in some manner...and a patsy, and debateable as to whether he was the actual killer.)

- Its been in the 80's for the last few weeks. "Oooh, paleo what a beautiful day-y-y." 
Shut up. 80 is the gate to hell. 80.1 is hell, and the metaphorical representation of evil, who I treat much like I treat the metaphorical symbol of good, to pick a word, ummm, so much bullshit, is ramming the nearest pitchfork into your nearest available nipple. Which, you know, whatever floats yer boat. 80 does not float mine. When I take over as the metaphorical symbol of good, 55degF every goddamn day.

- Speaking of the 80's, and radio up above, I'd been on a metal shift for a few weeks, courtesy of a Twilter friend. (caution- loud, angry, cool)

Then a certain young dead friend threw me back into the young paleo days. SO I've been listening to what is laughingly called oldies radio a bit, reaching for the good:

within the huge amount of dreck.
(Imagine I have put an Eagles link here. I will not because I really respect you. You are not like those others.)
But, one point I must reiterate. The Eagles are a good band, technically proficient, well produced, and certainly like many people I've heard a lot of them. But please. Stop. No more 'Life In The Fast Lane'. No more Reelin' In the Years'. Strangle 'Stairway to Heaven'. There is a lot of music out there, qualifying as oldies/classic rock. (Poison is neither, KOOL 108 Twin Cities. Shut up.) Try 'Seven Bridges Road' or anything from when the Eagles were aping Gram Parsons. Try 'Bad Sneakers'. If you want long Led Zeppelin, try:

- Hell with it. Ta.


  1. I love "In Through The Out Door" and it was basically my introduction to LZ.

    Bluegal and Driftglass via dog Faced Herman (on their podcast natch) turned me on to X Minus One, an old timey wimey radio wadio skiffy show. Lots of good stories, Bradbury, Heinlein, the Usual Suspects. There's a podcast you can subscribe to at iTunes, if you swing that way.

    They had a clip from "The Veldt" which is one of my favoritest Bradbury stories.

    I'm working today also. Sigh. It's 82 degrees out, which is gorgeous gorgeous down here on the lake.

  2. Since it's only a matter of time before someone goes OT, LOOK!

    The Vikings hate little birdies!


    Well, there's your problem. You apparently have some misguided thinking that America can spend money on ANY problem anymore.

  4. bout six months ago, he babbled about the Hollywood Sex Magick Underground, Miley Cyrus as the Trickster devil baby panda sidecar burrito, acid and sacrifice. I call it Tuesday. He is worried about the resurgence of the Satanic Panic. Ummm.

    I remember reading some guy who had a big breakdown about how her twerking performance was an exercise in mass mind control. The best part about it was his assertion that the performance was calculated to piss off every single human being who watched it... here it is!