Monday, September 28, 2015

Live-Blogging Packers Monday Night Football

Okay, kiddies, coming up on the game!

My Sweetie and I are watching Saturday's Doctor Who and eating taco salad, getting ready for the game - there may be some comments on the Doc, as I continue to swing wildly on the fence about Oswin.

The Packers, with Aaron Rodgers, clearly one of the two-three top QBs right now, and I'd say number one but I'm biased, should win going away, he says as he starts to eat his own liver. No team should ever be counted out when playing a Dom Capers defense. When they invent soylent green, start with Capers.

To be continued...

End of First Quarter:

Okay, between one thing and another, missed the first quarter. I am not sure which of us loves Missy more, me or Sweetie.

Stats look amazing, and the pass to James Jones for 19 looked like a great play, well placed ball!

8:21 Fourth and 5 and we're going for it. Not a terrible call, long damn kick for Crosby, who has at least shown flashes of consistency this year again, but Bakhtiari got beat like a red-headed stepchild.

8:26 Dom Fucking Capers strikes again. Trying to determine what dumbass cornerback went after Charles low, he needs to join Capers in the Soylent mixer.

8:30 Although it must be said that it appears Capers coaches the Chief's secondary too.

8:37 For the love of goddammit, could someone please pass block?

8:41 John Gruden blows goats.
I'm not kidding. His wonderfully mumblemouthed performance can only be a result of goat peen.

8:56 I'm not sure which one us loves Aaron Rodgers more, me or Sweetie. Although I am less likely to attempt to bone him.

Solid lead at halftime. Now for Dom Capers to destroy what's left of my stomach lining, and Berman to thoroughly fellate Rapistburger.

9:30 Good defensive stand. Capers has clearly been kidnapped by gnomes. Hopefully eaten.

The damn foot is not only off the gas, it went gangrenous and is now a damn stub. Sloppy, sloppy!

9:45 Very athletic play by Shields. Gruden calling for a late hit flag on Matthews just shows he could not be trusted to make instant pudding. And I knew the play was designed for Cobb over the middle, and I'm a fat drunk guy wearing a Rodgers jersey in the hopes my Sweetie will be confused and want to bone me.

The referees are being paid by the call. The linesman just bought a gold-plated hooker.

9:56 Capers has dragged his partially gnome-digested body back into the coaches' box and called for a fold defense.

Okay, I'm relaxing a little. And how in the hell did anyone not shadow Cobb? I mean, good for me, but holy shit someone blew an assignment.

10:21 Yeah, the call against Clinton-Dix was crap, but so was that defensive series.

Have to finish the stupid games! And we can't have our defense fighting both the offense and our defensive scheme. Matthews has to be exhausted, and Peppers right behind him.

This may be a long, long fucking year. We've made Alex Goddamn Smith look like Johnny Unitas. I'll take the win, but we suck, have got to shape up...

Up too late for this shit. G'nite all.



  1. Babe, don't forget about peanut butter with peanuts and #22 with the long-ass args (mix of leg/arm) :-D

  2. They still managed to beat the 49ers, while Dom Capers made them look good.

    Although 17-3 isn't exactly a nail biter. mikey tried to make me bitter by saying that we should be worried because the Pack didn't roll up 40 points on them. I replied by saying that the first touchdown by itself would still have been enough. Also, 4-0.

  3. Since teh zombizzle has comments closed over on his new post, I'll just drop a note here to say I'm jealous of all the fun you two had in MPLS.

  4. So....what do we think about the replacement of the screwdriver with a plebeian pair of fucking sunglasses?