Monday, September 21, 2015

An Open Letter To Gov. 'Bobby' Jindal

Mr. Grain at MockPaperScissors found this choice bit of morongravy from one Gov. 'Bobby' Jindal:
“If you can find me a Muslim candidate who is a Republican, who will fight hard to protect religious liberty, who will respect the Judeo-Christian heritage of America, who will be committed to destroying ISIS and radical Islam, who will condemn cultures that treat women as second class citizens and who will place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution, then yes, I will be happy to consider voting for him or her. If you can’t, I’ll settle for voting for a Christian Governor from Louisiana.”
I responded there, and want to share with my enormous, well, what's the singular of audience, here.

Dear Pi,

If you can find me a Muslim candidate who is a Republican
"In the 2000 election, approximately 70 percent of Muslims in America voted for Bush; among non-African-American Muslims, the ratio was over 80 percent." Wha' happened?

who will fight hard to protect religious liberty
The irony drips off of this loonicidal linky-doo like, something viscous and suchlike. It'd be amazing to hear a Jesus fellator, well, really, a Paul salad tosser, come out in favor of religious liberty.

who will be committed to destroying ISIS
Umm, fucking EYE-Ran?

who will condemn cultures that treat women as second class citizens
Hey, I hate the fucking Duggars too. I can Haz Air Force 1 nao?

who will place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution
Yes, Teh Constitution which requires no religious test. You've broken stupidity as a concept.

I will be happy to consider voting for him or her. If you can’t, I’ll settle for voting for a Christian Governor from Louisiana.

Pi, babe. Please. Listen to me.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE PRESIDENT.
You're not going to be president. Or vice president. Or get a cabinet post any more visible than, say Sec'y of Commerce. Not only are you a nobody, the base hates you. They do. My aunts and uncles, retired all, mostly stinking wealthy, republicans all, hate you because of the color of your skin, and no faded official painting in the Guv's mansion will change that.

You are not going to be going anywhere. So, please, for the sake of your own, fucking!, self-esteem, stop. And shut up.

You're the governor of Louisiana. Many historical LA guvs have ridden that grift train to wealth, serious local fame, hot and cold running scotch, and hot and hotter running vag. Enjoy what you have, dude.

Love,

paleo

1 comment:

  1. Is he even polling above Turdwaffle?

    I figure Ol' Turd was just the first one that had a visit from a Bush Family consiglliere.

    OR..Maybe Jindal already had a visit but he didn't understand. Worked at a place once, the boss was so toxic that he never had to fire anyone - EVER- because he just made work so horrible they would leave. Except once. We had a guy named Mariusz from Germany, and Peter tried to fire him. Talked to him for an hour in a closed office. But Mariusz came in the next day anyway.

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