Friday, December 11, 2015

A Conversation With Justice Antonin Scalia

Tony Teh Squirrel* went and said things. Naturally, this aggression cannot stand, so I grabbed my trusty phonish thingy.

"Mr. Scalia, sir-

Umm, I'll need you to put down the maga- no, I'm not subscribed to Eugenics Monthly, um, no, I don't want the postcard, but -

No, no, your Supremitude, I have a statemen...

Yes, go ahead and try to convert Judge Kagan, I'm certain she'll appreciate your efforts, but if I can just say...

*wearily shaking head* I'm sure Virginia Thomas is some brown sugar, yes sir, but - GODDAMMIT, ABIGAIL FISHER WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GET IN! She wants affirmative action only for herself, all she had to do was hit the top 10% mark but she failed civics and basket weaving and she's A idiot! Yes, sure, wevs, I'm sorry about the goddammit word, your Nibs, but seriously, do you have a servant to remind you to blink and swallow, I mean for reals, how did you make it to 127 years old!?! JESUS CHRIST! WHADDYA MEAN CONTEMPT!?! KISS YOUR OWN ASS!!! GAHHH!!!
mrrrrmphlethuddragdragdrag



*Should drive Zombie into a frothing, room temperature rage.

5 comments:

  1. SWEET LIVING FUCK, MST3K IS COMING BACK.

    14 GODDAM EPISODES/

    HOLY SHIT, PATTON OSWALT AND FELICIA DAY ARE THE MADS. ARE THE MADS!!!!!


    http://nerdist.com/mst3k-reboot-to-feature-writers-dan-harmon-justin-roiland-ernst-cline-more/


    ....yeah, I am just kind of meh about the whole thing....

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  2. Here's my conversation with Scalia:


    WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK! THUMP. BIFF BIFF BIFF POKE POKE POKE STAB!

    You have to imagine it with me wielding a stout oak 3x2....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Add a smuoosh/squish in there. I was incomplete...

      Delete
  3. Hey wait a minute. Why does Felix Leiter look different in EVERY DAMN MOVIE? Does the CIA do THAT MUCH alteration to their agents? And how come Bond recognizes him EVERY DAMN TIME?

    SCREW YOU. Saltzmann/Broccoli!

    ReplyDelete