Sportsperson Opens Yap. Stupid Ensues

Mike Ditka, former NFL coach and current sportsball analyst, went on a radio show and used vocal chords.

Let's roll the 1's and 0's.

Ditka went on WABC’s The Bernie & Sid Show on Thursday and told the hosts that “Obama’s the worst president we’ve ever had.” 

“Barack Obama’s a fine man,” Ditka said of the former Illinois State Senator. “I mean, he’s pleasant. He would be great to play golf with. He’s not a leader. This country needs leadership. It needs direction. It needs somebody that steps up front. We need somebody like Ronald Reagan. Every once in a while you’re gonna get punched in the chops but you keep going forward. That’s all there is to it.”

Let's ignore the 'play golf with' TeaBagger dogwhistle and go to

Every once in a while you’re gonna get punched in the chops but you keep going forward.

Ermmm. Geopolitical crises are getting 'punched in the chops.' Well over four thousand American military personnel dead, thousands more in some state of disability, and an unknown, unknowable number of dead civilians is getting 'punched in the chops'. Way to minimize real-world life-and-death, suffering, poverty, you serious, as in setting-the-new-standards-for-excremescence-achievement serious, piece of waste.

No one is able to achieve the level of Bear hatred as I can. This time, this is not the case. Ditka won a single Super Ball Bowl with a once-in-a-millenium defense. One. Eins. And was a simple salary suck every other place he was involved.

In that Super Ball Bowl he refused to give Walter Payton, the only Bear I could ever tolerate (but still not like), who had played brilliantly for years on teams that could not have beaten a Tebow-led Lions team, a guaranteed rushing TD, instead giving it to William 'the Refrigerator' Perry, to thumb his nose at everyone who called it a ridiculous draft pick*.

When it comes to rationality and judgement, yeahhhh, I think Imma go with President Obama.

Oh, yeah, and Lil' Mikey is a Trumpenfuhrer supporter. I'm shocked. Probably met at the same spray tan booth distributor.

Oh, yeah, and he wanted to be a senator in 2004, says he'd have beaten then-state-legislator Barack Obama. Probably would have, too, but it's Illinois. With two recent governors having spent time in (admittedly white-collar, and screw the 'Murkin justice system) Club Feds, a damn lot of Illinoyances earn the FIB** nickname honestly, and I also refudiate their rationality and judgement. (except for (DUCKWORTH SENATE 2016!!)


An Open Letter

Dear Mike Ditka (and, for that matter, Curt Schilling), 

There are reasons you are not well-known destinations for those who seek universal truthisms, why you have not been invested in the CERN project, why there are not schools of economics or political theories named after you. 

You were athletes, uneducated, largely incapable of functioning outside of the rarefied world of the American Entertainment Sphere. You have been blessed far more than you deserve because you had some sportsball talent. Take it for what it is and enjoy it, but leave the rest of us to solve the actual issues.  

And with any luck, we'll get to the Sportsball Industrial Complex soon enough. For example, there is a stadium going up in Minneapolis that some legislators need to go to jail for, and a worthless Sopranos cosplayer needs to be back-charged for. 

I wish nothing but misery and tragedy for you, and if your kids spit on you for being despicable human beings, Imma count one in the win column. 

Love, paleo

*To be fair, Perry eventually did become a passable defensive lineman. A better lineman than Tebow was a quarterback, a better professional football player than the Lions are a professional football team. Not squattle to do with Ditka.

**Thought I could make one single goddamn amphibian molesting post without cussing, didja? Fucking Illinois Bastards.