Dateline, Denver CO - The Police Are Ninnies

For the record, like all 6 people in my audience, I am as pure as the driven snow. Don't drink or smoke or solicit any naughty women. (I have tried, so many times, to understand the nature of the naughty women. And, clearly after curing her, I married one.) Never done anything to trouble anyone. Ehh, once, maybe.

However, I have ministered to the heathen crowd. Tokers of the bong and sinful distillations. Learned a few things, too.

• Legal, illegal, or 40-toke-am-I-high-yet-ditchweed, the 'MaryJane', as the kids call it, is bloody expensive, as well as taking way too many surreptitious conversations to get, especially when it is entirely possible that you may may be speaking esperanto, or quoting Dave Matthews Band as if there is meaning to their lyrics, on a trac-phone. And while inhale-inhale-pass seems the be the order of the 'pot' party, it's considered poor form not to contribute. Much like a casserole party. 
• The smokers I have ministered to, while occasionally freaky and far too into Dave Matthews Band, are not dicks.

So, let some fear-mongering settle upon your melon.


Using points one and two above, I wish to respond the the Denver PD.

• A. My stash! MY STASH! "♩ ♫ ♯ Take these chances Place them in a box until a quieter time Lights down, you up and die ♮ ♬"
• B. Be a dick to a kid? What do you think we are, priests?

Denver Police Department, basically, what you have done is not, in fact,
protected kids, but given ideas to assholes and publicity seekers. You are schmucks! Congratulations!