Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Ok, You Bastards, Practice Starts Tomorrow

In response to correspondence with teh Zombie, regarding the end of the football season.

Yes, end of the football season. I were born and raised in Wisconsin, and despite my growing hatred of the NFL Inc. and existing blind rage at the fact that the NCAA is allowed to exist without hard-wired collars reminding them when they are being jackasses, although the electricity bills may bankrupt the nation. Where was I? Dangling clauses, apparently.

Oh, yes, so, I need the Pack and the Badgers to do well. But, once their seasons are over, I no longer give a shit about their respective leagues. I don't know or care who won the college football championship, and I won't see another NFL game. Even the Super Bowl. 

"Ohhh, but paleo, teh commercials!" 
a.) Like I have money. 
2.) Who gives a great goddammit.

So, I had to work during the Packers-Cardinals game, and only saw, live, the Jeff Janis hail mary TD reception, and then Larry Fitzgerald Jr. making Dom Capers look like he was auditioning for Dumbest and Dumbester.

I saw McCarthy yesterday tell Eddie Lacy to get the hell back in shape. 
As an aside (I know, me?), the comments on that SBNation post included one to the extent of "Lacy may be fat but I bet he could make a 27 yard field goal", which I, of course, found quite humorly, while at the same time thinking any MN fan who blames that loss on Blair Walsh is a jackass, the rest of the Queens put him in that position by shitting the bed in the 4th quarter... 
The Packers so need Jordy Nelson (WR) back on the field, and also need a complementary wide out. Randall Cobb (WR, SR, occasional RB) is good, very good, in the slot, but I'm not impressed with him outside. David Bakhtiari (Sieve, Penalty Machine, theoretically an Offensive Lineman. Got the 'offensive' part right.) needs to be sent along with Capers to hell.

Imma not primal scream, but we have work to do.

At the same time, Bob (AKA 'Lips' to Roger 'How Can I Help You, Mr. Kraft' Goodell, Jerry Jones, Dan Snyder, et al.) Costas needs to be buried under Capers and Bakhtiari - one cannot help but feel that sports broadcasters, presumably at the behest of teams with owners, want GB to fail as a franchise because an ostensibly publicly-owned entity that will be staying in place makes slapnuts like Szigymund Wilf and Stan Kroenke look like the criminally greedy grubfuckers they are. 

And Costas is an admitted ewok-fondler. Probably.


Post Script: I have friends, and they're not well.


  1. You magnificent bastard, I am pleased to have triggered this rant. Two coaches fired, and NONE OF THEM DOM CAPERS. The knee-biters at LGM also try to make a case that McCarthy is weak, but considering his record of taking the team to post-season, it seems kind of stupid.

  2. Also, Allen Fisher is a sick twisted bastard and I would be pleased to drink with him in the Zombie Den...

  3. Re: your Ewok meme. They are small furries. I suspect that their penises are small and short. I bet that they will likely miss the hole anyway, as they are semi-feral. Clench your thighs, they will never know the diff....

    I have thought about this at a level that will make all of you uncomfortable....

  4. Some ewoks are cuter than others.

    I have thought about this at a level that will make all of you uncomfortable....

    I didn't know zombies were into the whole ewok furry thing.