Dear HyperChristian Dispensationalist Whack-A-Mole Game,
I was very appreciative of your bumper sticker declaring that "In Case Of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unoccupied". Very retro, sir, I had not seen that adhesive manifesto in quite some time.
In case of your rapture, I'm taking your stuff. I might get a buck two-fifty for the plastic-wrapped paisley couch. You might still have iron cook pans, which I'm rather fond of. The lime-green refrigerator, with the freezer inside the door? Keg holder.
Your Michael W. Smith CDs and Kirk Cameron Blue-ray Edition DVD collection? Sun-catchers and squirrel torturers.
Thanks in advance!
Creflo Dollar/Benny Hind 2016! Feel The Nuts!