Friday, August 23, 2013

An Open Letter To Fox News And The Daily Tucker

Dear sirs  To whom it may concern  If I may have a moment of your time  Messrs Tucker and Ailes



Ok, listen up!

Fox and Friends and The Daily Caller have raised some eyebrows recently in the coverage of the murder of Christopher Lane in Oklahoma, a baseball player from Australia, out for a jog, and thrilled killed by a trio of dumbasses. Said dumbasses have been identified and arrested, and are so to learn the criminal justice system in detail I am not sure they ever imagined. The point I am going to make is not about the dumbasses.

Both Fox and Friends and the Daily Tucker have reported the suspects as 3 black teenagers. This is incorrect, but go with me here. For that matter, they don't mention that, hey, guns, cool, drool!, but anyway. Both Fox and Friends and Mr. Carlson's errand boys have asked* where the outrage went, why is this manifestation of Black Pantherish radicalism, this enforcement of Jim Crow against the disenfranchised crackers of, um, Australia, or something, being treated as a media afterthought, as opposed to the crowds and speeches and protests related to the  trial of the (now, with moar shotgun!) murderer of Trayvon Martin. (Again, see Mediaite link). In other words, and I can't believe this clause is tripping off my fingers, F&F and Tucker's Rag are waiting for Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and President Black Darkie McKenyan to say, well, who knows, they wouldn't listen anyhow, doesn't matter.
Please allow me to drop a nickel in your brains...

  • After Christopher Lane was killed, there was an immediate investigation
  • The investigation discovered the identities of the three dumbasses
  • The three dumbasses were then apprehended and are jailed, as opposed to having been given a pat on the melon, told, congratulations, you just killed your first niAustralian and sent home with a skip in their steps and a song in their hearts
  • The three dumbasses were not given the benefit of an entire television network, hell, an entire print/audio/video media community, calling them heroes, calling for the extermination of all niAustralians, and blaming Christopher Lane for every murder in North America since President Garfield.
  • The three dumbasses, not having a wing of the professional media propping them up, do not have supporters holding up signs about how all niAustralians are thugs, professional ninja chopsaki cold blooded purple drankers hopping to their gangster flows like Fifty Cents.
Oh, I did miss one small similarity in the cases, though. For legal reasons the three dumbasses are referred to as alleged murderers, but Imma take a leap.

Oh, hey, by the way - aren't gunz dr-e-e-e-e-a-a-m-y?

*in this period not long after the comic Performance Piece of the Century, the Zimmerman Trial for his murder of Trayvon Martin


  1. also, the three dumbasses, one white, two black. And apprehended while on the way for a second thrill-kill, of a black kid they knew.

    The Outrage Machine wants payback for their hero Zimmerman. Frankly, I encourage them to continue to flog these things (also the case in the northwest where two black teens beat an old man to death) because it will remind everyone that George WAS NOT ARRESTED, while black suspects are.

    Tucker the Orange has been an emu and a douche-hammer since the days when he got a video clerk fired for blogging about Tucker dropping off some videos that were implied to be mildly naughty. Well, to be fair he was probably an emu before that, but this was the time where he screeched at said video clerk "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

    1. 'You're hurting America.' - Jon Stewart. Such a very beautiful takedown. Yeah Tuckles is a compleat fuckball, 'yeah, some gay guy talked to me so I beat the hell out of him, we all laughed', first of all, bullshit. Wanker.

    2. And re: reminding everyone that Georgles was not arrested, I'm down, bubba! That shit-eatin' grin at the shotgun factory? Sociowankerpath.

  2. But never mind that. Packer game tonight!

    1. Finally back at a desk for hopefully, the remainder of the workday (only one more 12 hour scheduled shift to go, W00T!!Eleben!, finally hours that match up with the rest of the world, first time ever!!!), but Imma catch what I can on ESPN Gamecast, and I need Russell Wilson, not actually injured, cause that would be fucked up, but so black and blue tomorrow he needs to retire, or stay in bed until 2014, at any rate...

    2. Is Rodgers starting? I heard flu or something?

      Tebow's available (probably).

    3. Rodgers started, looked fine. Harrell looked iffy. Vince Young looked more capable as a backup, even if he doesn't know the full playbook.

      The Seahawks won, but had to play their first teams for 3 quarters to do it. McCarthy was more disciplined, putting in the players who needed some playing time.

      Sandbag season. I think the whole purpose is to provide the 49ers with a level of misplaced confidence.

    4. I'm tempted to see some of MN-SF tomorrow night, but I don't think it will be any sort of representative game. MN not playing Petersen so they have no offense and SF's D is well above average, I would not expect Kaepernick to be playing much more than a series.

      Just looking at game stats, why in the hell can't we get a running game?!?

    5. actually, the running game didn't look that bad. Green had a couple of nice runs, and the new kid has some great 'push'.

      I think the big thing you see is that during Rodgers' series, it was a lot of passing. During the other series, the backup offensive players were playing the Seattle first defensive team. Other teams are never going to focus as much on the run when Rodgers is playing, you can't risk it; that will, I imagine, open things up quite a bit.

    6. There was a Formula 1 race in Belgium. Spoiler alert: Vettel won.

    7. Vettel won.

      NOW WE'RE TALKING, DAMMIT! Can he run off-tackle?

  3. Of course, unaddressed is toxicity of America's gun culture.

    1. Every day, some idiot, or some child, dies because someone has compensation issues.

      I am so fucking sick of it.

  4. Oh, we can't talk toxicity...the Detachable Dick Club says it is an inalienable right.

    Course, they are likely celebrating news of a couple thrill kills like the one on a WWII vet here in Washington State....they can claim guns don't kill people, only darkies do.