Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Saving 'Murica With The MegaChurch Based Economy

Once upon a time, I was a travelling union electrician.

I tended to go west to work. My preference, as I was driving like a bat loosed from Satan's grip to Siblingbunghole, Idaho, with a case of Mountain Dew, a roll of Kodiak, and a dwindling hope of picking up the call at the union hall for power plant maintenance but an expectation of putting in childproof AFCI-rated receptacles at the local Golden Corral, was to drive through mountains.

Although I do not recall the instance, at some point I must have signed the books in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Colorado Springs has been, and may still be,
home to the greatest concentration of fundamentalist Christian activist groups in American history (Jeff Sharlet, Harpers, Revealer)
including New Life, former home of Ted Haggard (I will not embed that video. I will not muddy up my own house. It's from Jesus Camp if you want an idea before clicking.) before he discovered the Joy of Meth (now on Audible.com); and home to the United States Air Force Academy, which has had, for years, a very prejudicial attitude towards any non-Jesus-Beater daring to serve their country upside down at Mach 2.25. Colorado Springs has also had, due to the presence of the aforementioned Atavisticus Jesusi Beaterodocus, a turbo-fucked local economy.

Because I signed the books there, I get email pertinent to Colorado Springs. For example, I get the 'newsletter' and 'brother can you spare a coupla thousand dimes" from this Tea Party pile of pig placenta



Because of his first name and general demeanor, he reminds me of President Bartlett's son-in-law (West Wing). Just a completely pliable dunce, eager to do the bidding of his keepers, will swallow if necessary.


Actually, pig placentas serve a purpose - they are involved in the production of ham. I may have to rethink that analogy.

Now, I also get job offers from 'the Springs', as the hip youth say. What is available in the job creation dynamic Galtian Gulch in fundie country?






















Hmm. My smack is gobbed. There seems to be a trend, perhaps, nay, a pattern. Ummm.

Er.

WHY IN TEH HELL DID I EVER BECOME A HIGHLY EDUCATED TECHNICAL SPECIALIST WITH A WORK ETHIC AND A SAVAGE DISREGARD FOR ORGANIZED RELIGION?!?! CONFORM, BABY, CONFORM!!

SHEESH.

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Oh, and speaking of Jesus Camp, I found out what happened to this poor brainwashed peanuthead.











He took up sportsball.













Sorry mini-dude.

2 comments:

  1. We visited Colorado Springs when we went to Denver recently. Joyce didn't realize when she was planning the trip, that it was Dominionist Central. We enjoyed the natural beauty, but it became obvious that this place had been taken over by Jeebus-Pods the one morning when we were eating breakfast and the TeeBee had 20 FUCKING MINUTES for a crazy preacher to just talk without any verification or pushback, and I gave up after counting 400 prevarications.

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  2. Hunter S Thompson clawed his way from the soil, bent on vengeance and cannon-fire. He was unfortunately distracted by a rum and mushroom daiquiri.

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