Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Recipe For paleoWallbangers

By Popular Request.

Ingredients:

A citrus soda:

Diet for the diabetically inclined. Squirt, Sprite, 7Up also work.

Cheap-ass disgusting canadian whisky.

Find what's on sale. I guess I prefer Seagrams or Windsor, but they are top end stuff. (For CADCW.)

Follow closely:

In one (1) large glass (I prefer the 2011 edition Minnesota State Fair Holographic Goldy Gopher 32oz Refillable plastic), add 4 ice cubes (from local sparkling water, preferably origami-ed into something cool, like an albatross, or Darth Vader {Not whiny ass bitch Anakin. Darth Fucking Vader. And by the way, so, Luke went to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Means that since what's-her-nuts, Anakin's mother, Zoidberg or some such, was never married, that they were Anakin's brother or sister, or in Alabama, both. Now Zoidberg was a slave chick, so how were Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru/Both not also slaves? And, since teh happy couple were moisture farmers on Tatooine, with enough money to give whiny ass bitch Luke a car, why couldn't they have bought back Zoidberg, I mean, their house had to have terrible issues with sand being tracked in. What I'm saying is, fuck that noise. Darth Vader. Or an albatross.})

Add 4-6 fingers of whisky.

Add 4-6 fingers of soda.

Now, very important. Add 4-6 fingers of whisky.

Drink until you have heartburn.

Every couple months, buy something drinkable. Prepare to lash out a couple quid.


Happy imbibing y'all!

If one should question my taste in mixed drinks, take into account that I am diabetic, and having a good beer, my real preference, is a rare event. If one should question my taste in whiskeys, you're wrong. The Jameson's Special Reserve is mighty, and the whole Glen Morangie family is bottled orgasm. (Anticipating the jokes, hush it.)






10 comments:

  1. yeah, see I didn't have the cheap whiskey. And the Dew that was available is the Voltage, so ewww.

    I do have half a bottle of locally distilled blended whiskey which would probably serve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Dew that was available is the Voltage, so ewww."

      You're still not Ekstreeeem unless yer Cheetos is Flamin'!

      Delete
    2. Great Lakes distillery, Kinnickinnic Whiskey.

      http://www.greatlakesdistillery.com/spirits/kinnickinnic-whiskey/?age-verified=7dec6817de

      Delete
  2. Means that since what's-her-nuts, Anakin's mother, Zoidberg or some such, was never married, that they were Anakin's brother or sister, or in Alabama, both.

    Not to quibble about crazy shit Lucas pulled out of his ass, but this isn't necessarily so. Zoidberg could have brothers or sisters without being married. As I understand it, and I don't know where the hell I got this from, Beru was Zoidberg's sister, who was bought out of slavery by Owen, cuz he loved her. Or needed someone to cook and sweep sand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Or needed someone to cook and sweep sand."

      Pretty sure we're going to hell. Jes' sayin'.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. "Hi, I'm Harrison Solo, I mean Han Harrison, er, fuggit. Wha'mIdoin' 'ere? Right, fuggin promo tour. Happy Life Day. Erp."

      Delete
  4. Glenmorangie Port Wine Barrel Aged, need I say more? I love Jameson's, but my go-to Irish Whisky is Tullamore Dew.

    ReplyDelete