Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dear Peckerneck (An Open Letter To, Well, A Peckerneck)


Driving this morning, saw a bumper sticker (I know better than to read bumper stickers on penis trucks*. So I read the bumper sticker. Derp.)


The bigger the GOVERNMENT
the smaller the citizen.

Ermf.

Dear Peckerneck,

Kiss my ass, you dumb inbred sonuvabitch motherfuckin' redneck.
The "GOVERNMENT", dickweed, is us. You goddamn coward. People with yer lil' rebel opinion lack the brains, motivation, or courage to take your own responsibility within a civil society. You just want to take advantage of it, you know, roads, anti-penis-truck-theft laws, and then bitch about paying for it, or bitch about other people, those without genitalia issues, being on the same roads as your precious masculinity replacement. Go home to your man-cave and Bud Light and 9mm dick and hide, and let the rest of us go about trying to maintain a country. Kthnxbai.


*Penis truck - Any combination of dually rear tires, roll bars, KC lights, deer cage, window cling of Calvin pissing on something, owned by a man with a small penis and inability to relate to living women who needs something to remind himself that he is ALPHA©®™!

5 comments:

  1. Marion in SavannahAugust 28, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    That'll teach you to read bumper stickers! Now go and put a cool cloth on the back of your neck. (I hope you don't mind if I plagiarize the hell out of your letter...)

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    Replies
    1. Plagiarize away, Marion!

      Tell you what, if I make it through this election without my brain chewing it's way out of my skull, acquiring a shillelagh, and going on a gleeful cudgel rampage, it will be a miracle.

      Also a great idea for a movie...

      Delete
  2. just yesterday i saw the ultimate forced birther bumper sticker: some gifts only GOD can give...took all my self control to not rund the stupid bint off the road...

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    Replies
    1. also, the above is bbkf...fucking profiles, how do they work?

      Delete
    2. fucking profiles, how do they work?

      Apparently they don't... ;)

      some gifts only GOD can give...

      This must be teh new meme - 'just another method of conception', the Tom Smith thingy in Pennsyltucky wherein an out-o-wedlock birth is as bad as rape.

      These people are screwballs. Complete and utter screwballs.

      Delete