Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Vignette Of An After Dinner Cigar And Scotch*

Scene:
A Sunday evening, about 10pm. The sky is clear, temperature just right, dimly lit by porch light and one iPhone.

Setup:
After a late supper, lovingly crafted by Sweetie, Sweetie, B-I-L, and paleo have retreated to the porch for a brief moment of nothing, to have a drink and a cigar. While paleo was at work, Sweetie was shopping for fixtures for the Great Basement Mayhem and Remodel, and having taken pictures, was showing them to paleo for his opinion. The topic of the moment, toilets.

Sweetie:
Take a look at this, what do you think?

paleo:
I don't know much about toilets, I can look them up for quality but that's about it.

Sweetie:
Well, obviously, we want it in bone, or cream, I don't want white...

paleo: (snarkily)
Honey, c'mon, you know I had my heart set on lime green.

Sweetie: (more snarkily)
No. It clashes with poop.

B-I-L: (for the win)
Speak for yourself.

Reaction shot:
Sweetie, dragging on the cigar, coughs up her appendix. paleo blows alcohol through nose. B-I-L sits back and...awww, screw the bastard. That was well played.





*Technically, Diet Dew and Vodka. And Swisher Sweet Grape Cigarillos. Hey, don't judge me, I have a basement to remodel.

5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Very judgey, my decaying friend. Jes' saying.

      Delete
  2. I would never try such a concoction. I mean, as far as you know.

    Heh. Did you see the Mad Men episode where they were trying to come up with cocktails that used Mountain Dew? "A cocktail needs at least THREE ingredients!" "Ice counts"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got it covered, boss.

      Mt. Dew. The base. Piquant, yet urine-ish.
      Empty the bottle of Pinnacle. That's 2. And three?

      Open new bottle of Pinnacle and add.

      Violin! A Cocktail. Or preservative. Possibly tooth polish. Stuff.

      Delete
  3. VaporFi is the #1 electronic cigarettes provider.

    ReplyDelete