Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Eyes Wide Shut*

Long, long workday, working on a project, had my head under a raised floor for several hours, the desiccation was a mighty thing, forcing me to try to re-hydrate with Glenfiddich 18, the Scots are a wise people; my hands, with the long weekend outside and a day in a wind tunnel, have taken on the texture of sandpaper, really unhappy sandpaper, with daddy issues and an incompetent hypnotic regression therapist; and my discoveries have made my immediate future a touch annoying, and may drive my boss to drink...more. I'm beat, is what I'm saying, and I'll go to bed with my hands coated in lotion and covered with nitrile gloves, and not for any fun reasons.

Brief political note - Minnesota is struggling to pass a statute regarding standards for dog and cat breeding facilities, targeting the "puppy/kitty mills". Again. Struggling. Ummm, I ain'tn't sure how anyone could quibble with requirements that the animals be kept clean, with enough room to relax/sleep comfortably, time with other pets and their mothers to learn to, you know, FUCKING PLAY AND SOCIALIZE? I have my friends, for who I would help hide the body, but I'm not exactly a social butterfly. I'm an animal lover, more a dog person than a cat person but I love mah kittehs. What are these jackholes concerned about? 



Watching a new show on Comedy Central, The Jeselnik Offensive. So. Awful. Beyond words or emotion or Cosmic Horrors, hands/flippers at the window. That is my review, which is mine, by me. Avoid this like something dreadful, say, gonorrhea or Bud Light.

*Post is not in any way related to the film starring Tom Cruise, by Stanley Kubrick, intent on shredding his legacy. Also, Tom Cruise is bleedin' insane. But, have you ever thought about the benefits of a good spiritual enema? Contact me, I represent paleo-ology, a new way to live your life, with quantum wellbeing our watchword, or watchwords, you will find out which when you reach level Plaid, which may or may not have to do with dinosaurs and quantum wellbeing. Just remember gluons, and dream, and for a minimal contribution I can make you magical with friendship.

8 comments:

  1. finished robot last night, and one of the other mentors gave me a lovely sinus cold. I feel like homemade shit.

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    1. Never had a commercial shit, myself. I take pride in home-made.

      Sounds like a job for mulled wine, or coffee with brandy. And if you finished the robot without bitchslapping the one kid, you can make it a double.

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  2. Lucy, the Orange, Leaky-Ass Dog, is a Black Mouth Cur that came from a puppy mill. We figure she's a purebred that was dumped because there is some white marking on her snout, which should be all black for a show dog.

    What assholes. At this point, Republicans just want to break government in any way possible. It's only about preventing it from doing anything salutary, so they can point and say "gubblment is the problem, herp derp derp" They really do hate everybody who is not them, and have zero empathy.

    You know what we need? Republican mills, that churn them out and keep them in tiny cages, for eventual sale to the Republican pit-fighting circuit.

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    1. Republican pit-fighting circuit

      As long as we put the losers down humanely - we are not monsters.

      I had a purebred mini-dachs, part of a previous life, but as much as I loved the little guy, I won't go purebred again, gonna rescue one. Maybe this year yet, though that might be pushing things.

      "gubblment is the problem"

      So why in hell do you dumb bastards try so hard to get in it?

      Delete
    2. don't get the wrong idea. Lucy was a rescue also.

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    3. they initially thought she was some kind of collie mix. we had to look it up later.

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    4. Bad speakage on my part - I wont go to a breeder or pet store - HS or no-kill, like for the kittehs.

      Delete
  3. Long, long workday, working on a project, had my head under a raised floor for several hours, the desiccation was a mighty thing, forcing me to try to re-hydrate with Glenfiddich 18, the Scots are a wise people

    Glenfiddich 18, it has what plants crave! Would you be able to wear a Camelbak on the job, in order to avoid dehydration?

    ReplyDelete