Monday, November 18, 2013

Climate Change Denial Isn't Just A Hobby, I'm A Member

So, listening to sports talk on the way home from work (no judging. The only antidote to remembering how bad the Packers were yesterday is listening to Twin Cities media call their team a squad of nun-beaters.)

Local Limbaugh wannabee and suspected serial egg-plant buggerer (it would be irresponsible not to speculate) Joe Soucheray was laying down a groove, troof about the Vikings, and the subject turned to the Bears-Ravens game, and other slightly more important news from yesterday.

Joe said, para, that tornadoes happen, and that the only reason people notice them nowadays is that people are living in areas that used to have tornadoes go through and they would just kill a rabbit maybe. His co-host, an old sportswriter named Patrick Reusse (who's actually alright, his choice of friends notwithtatnding), brought him in from the ledge a bit, and eventually they settled on "Well, it's not unheard of."

Dear Mr. Souchoreilly,

People have been living in Chicago for a bit. Cincinnati? Not exactly the wild frontier. Washington IL, F4, pretty flattened. Been around a while, did a bit of good in this skirmish called World War II. F3, Paducah, Kentucky. Some horses ain't'nt come down yet. 20 city blocks on the Natl. Registry of Historic Places. Tornado touched down at a uranium enrichment plant, and by pure luck, no releases. Check out The Weather Channel for more.

You know what? No, Joey, get your hand out of the vegetable patch and listen, goddammit. Yeah, sometimes tornadoes do happen, sometimes out of nowhere. Snownadoes. Sharknadoes even. 
12+ of the rotten bastards in middle damn November?!?!
Someone may have noted that. Just saying.

What will it take for you to realize, stuff is not exactly right?


  1. Pfft, what's a few twisters in flyover country? Who cares about inconsequential things like that. Happens all the time.

    Now if that had occurred right after a massive typhoon that was so strong it exceeded the scale designed to measure it? That might mean something.

    Wait, did I say "mean something"? I meant of course "would also be purely coincidence, nothing out of the ordinary, move along, nothing to see here."

  2. Of course it is just Weather's idea of a "lone wolf gunman" for pity's sake….it can't possibly mean anything. Right? Right?

    :::erp:::: Damn, sarcasm overdose is nasty.

  3. Of more concern -MUCH MORE-- is that Ted Nugent apparently has a live album called Ultralive Ballisticrock.