New Rule

Please allow me to make a new rule for the world.

ANYONE. (Yes, you, Mr. Huckabee, Mr. Fischer, all you other nutjobs). Who has made the statement that God has decided that 20 children needed to be slaughtered because God is all angerface that his kid wasn't included in the yearbook photos, IS A SOCIOPATH.

You have left the building, so shut up before you wake the neighbors.

PISS OFF.

You are not welcome here.

Won't Even Try A Snarky Title

A parent, and a second suspect, in custody, shoots up a school in Connecticut, leaving over 2 dozen dead, including as many as 18 children. One ENTIRE CLASSROOM of students remains unaccounted for at this time.

The White House, and therefore the president, who I lent my support to, for what it is worth, shrugged it off. No, Mr. President, today is exactly the day to discuss our NON-EXISTENT GUN LAWS in the face of potential political 'backlash' from those with the .357 penis extensions.

Our religious leaders weigh in - Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association, bravely protecting us from teh Gay:

I'm all aflutter waiting for Fox News to blame Susan Rice, and the NRA's call for the arming of kindergartners.

We suck. We absolutely suck.

I am ill.

UPDATE 3PM:

Per Zombie, and then via ThinkProgress, President Obama's statement was far more in the vein of 'let's fix this shit.' Thank you very much, Mr. President. Please. Now.

I am still sick to my soul. Bastards.

I'd Actually Be Happier If They Would Get Their Memes Straight

As an Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight, as well as an electrician, I am a bug for logic. Whether creating an explosive device with nothing but red wires, thus kerfluffling the easily kefluffleable, or designing a ladder logic program to make things go beep beep whirrr, I count on (whilst, admittedly often being failed by) things working either in a complementary fashion, or in an effective, efficient order. I don't particularly handle things well what don't go teh way I expect them to. (Ask Sweetie.)

I would not make a good Teabagger.

Now, given the hangups and hatred of the rightwing entertainment complex, their desire to see women in the kitchen as well as blood (non-white male) in the streets has allowed this remarkable bit of cognitive dissonance.

Mr. Wayne LaPierre, famous paranoid coward and gun masturbator, NRA President, stated that Kassandra Perkins, the girlfriend of the football player who killed her and then himself* would still be alive today had she been packing heat.
Via TP.

In a Fox News Op-Ed, an anti-feminist author states that women will be much happier and comfortable being dominated by men, accept it and have babbies ever after.
Also via TP.

SO WHICH ONE IS IT? ARMED OR SUBMISSIVE?

SO WHICH ONE ARE YOU? DUMB OR ASSHOLES?

Get yer damn messaging straight so we can smack you down, please.

*Dear Internet,

I want to make an early Christmas wish for the families of Kassandra Perkins, Christina Taylor-Green (one of those killed at Tucson), all the kids killed in Norway at the summer camps, and thousands others, in even recent history, killed in high profile cases. As a society, we find ourselves identifying such events by the names of the killers - the victim's names don't seem to matter. Every mention of the Perkins murder is headlined by "Kansas City Chiefs Linebacker Xxxxxx Xxxxxx In Murder Suicide", even the ThinkProgress article, and I like ThinkProgress, or "Xxxxx Xxxxxxx On Trial In Arizona" or" Right Wing Media Darling Xxxxxx Xxxxxx Pleads Innocent in Norway". I have a better idea. Let the names of the killers fall away. Honor the victims.

Please.

paleo

There IS a Flying Spaghetti Monster

I have often expressed my wish that Bret Bielema, Head Coach of the Only Big Ten Team That Matters*, the Wisconsin Badgers, retire, or be hired as a philosophy professor, or fall into the penguin cage at the Como Zoo and be found in the morning in a state that I cannot photoshop.

Oooo, what's this - 

The Most Goofiest Looking Motherfucker On The Planet Gets Hired By Inbreds

Showing his usual high class, and world-beating-but-losing-the-Rose-Bowl play-calling ability, in under two and a half days after whompering Nebraska for the Big Ten Championship, Bielema fled for the lower grade requiring confines of Arkansas. Good riddance! And, we finally have a chance in a  Rose Bowl (it hurts so much to type those words for a team with Montee Ball and Jared Abbrederis, but that is what teh Bretster hath wrought).

*Must elaborate. Penn State, I don't have enough time or internet to 'splain why they are evil - c'mon court system! Ohio State? Cheating evillers, but especially the "Cool Coach", Urban Meyer, Tebow enabler. Nebraska? Must be careful here, Mother in law may be reading... Hmm. I LOVE THE THUGS FROM NEBRASKA, especially Ndamakong Suh, who has done a wonderful job helping Green Bay. Michigan and Michigan State - historically evil, annoyingly good, home of my uncle who's a pain in the ass. Illinois, home of Chicago, hog butcherer to the world, and people with no knowledge of the actual value of lakefront cabins, FIBs (Fucking Illinois Bastards). Iowa - provides the hogs to Illinois, also home to Bachmann. Indiana will never win anything unless the basketball players learn to play football. The Minnesota Gophers haven't won Paul Bunyan's Axe for something like 314 years.

I have to give full props to Northwestern - great college, I don't mind seeing them do well, just not against us.

I Have No Clue How I Have Ever Missed This

THIS.

IS.

AWESOME!

Mexico's Island Of The Dolls. The link here is more extensive. A gentleman, some years ago, in Mexico City, found the body of a girl in a canal, and wishing to appease her spirit, or give her indulgence (in the Catholic sense),

COLLECTED DOLL PARTS AND MADE DISPLAYS ON THE BLEEDIN' ISLAND.

Disclaimer, besides being an enormous nerd, I am also into the paranormal, and the odder corners of the universe, and I HATE GODDAMN DOLLS, creepy as shit. Add age, lack of maintenance, exposure to the elements, and decay. Mix well. Eeuurgghh.

Does This Make Me A Successful Businessman?

Whilst perusing proselytizing posters in our corporate building today, on a quest for coffee, I noted we have a strong corporate presence in Canary Wharf, London. 

Now, recalling recent history, and the destruction of, hell, the turning into gravel and blood of, Canary Wharf, in general, and Torchwood One specifically, during the batlle for Earth between the Daleks and Cybermen, I'm thinking there may be some slots open - paleo's moving on up  to LONDON! 

Or, preferably, Land's End, but beggars can't be stuff and such, a bird in teh hand is worth a hand in a bush, wevs!

(sweetie - "That's just wrong!")
(paleo - "Just a bit of double entendre, honey - ")
(sweetie - "No, schmuck, business don't work that way! And you are a complete nerd!")

Or, p'raps not. Never mind. Fudge. Imma keep hoping.

Oh, and the quest for coffee! Failed. But I did find an excellent liquid printed circuit board finisher. Called 'Douchey and Gerbert', or some such stuff.

The First Rule Of Peak Wingnut...

My prognostication skills rate poorly. Just 2 days ago I thought Louie the Lizard had won the Wingnutolympics

with his discovery that the Black Sith had given Libya to Al Qaeda for his own sinister purposes, sharks with frikkin laser beams, or helping sick people not be, you know, sick. Hell, he had gone so far into the TimeCube I thought it an end to the years wild wacky wacistness!

Bouy, that opinion sunk quickly.

I present to you the theory of the Butthurt Bearded Sky Fairy

“I opened up a birthday present that I didn’t like, and I said it right out, ‘Oh, I don’t like those,’” the radio host recalled. “And it just crushed — and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, ‘I don’t like those.’ And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that.”
“And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”
“You know, God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them.”

Bryan Fischer of the AFA team, be proud, quite a feat!* The refs are still running to place your marker! How much do you think I can bench press?

*Note: Current results, finals dependent upon blood sampling.