Friday, July 27, 2012

Spoiler Alert - I Don't Do Spoilers. The Drunk Knight Rises

paleo and paleo bro-in-law went to see the new Batpic last night, in iMax - just a sec...

(Sweetheart informs me that this is the only "I" product not made by Zombie Steve Jobs. Huh. Whoodathunkt.)

In IMAX, since apparently Christopher Nolan will not do 3D, thinking it's a gimmick. Good for him - unless it's done very well, 3D is just a sort of "Look at what I can do, Ma!" sort of thing anyhow. 

Just to briefly address this and get it out of the way, no, I weren't afeart of no gunman coming in and shooting up the place. I had a mild fear of some member of the Help-Me-My-Penis-Is-Too-Small-So-I-Carry-A-9mm-Replacement Association hearing gunfire on the screen, pissing himself, splattering onlookers, and then shooting himself in the ass when he tried to draw.

One other 'to briefly address this' to be addressed. It is an R-rated movie, and it earns it, especially given the MPAA's tendency to give violence a pass while giving any kiss with a buttfeel an NC-17. Quite intense, violent, and a fair amount of blood. Ma'am, yes, you there, with the young girl, yes - ummm, yer dumb.

Oooh, one other 'to briefly address this' to be pondered. They are making a sequel to, well, everything, actually, but specifically for this 't.b.a.t.', a sequel to The Expendables, a sort of modern remake of Red Dawn, as I understand it - I haven't seen the first Expendables and won't, ugghhh. A snarky line delivered as though the actor has a ferret stuck in his duodenum, followed by gunfire, and that familiar face with a rug beard and a constipated expression - Chuck Norris. Everybody goes yay! I mean, dammit, no-one in the theater knows or cares about how lunacidal that birfer idiot is, but he also SUCKS AS AN ACTOR! Aw, hell, at any rate.

With no spoilers, it's a well done movie, and worth watching in IMAX. I don't know where anyone is getting any sort of political statement out of it, although the wingnut culture warriors find politics in Rice Krispies and then piss themselves, screech, etc. - the politics, such as they are, are all over the map. Long sonuvabitch, slow at times, plot holes you could drive a decent size truck through, and the ending was sort of a copout, to me. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, well, I knew who she was before and had my doubts, but she did quite well, actually. Very physical role but she really played it well. 

I will suggest seeing it on the big screen, I liked it!

Addendum: I am intrigued by the trailer for OZ, directed by Sam Raimi, without Bruce Campbell. I'll have to googly it, it looked as if it might be just fine, seems like it's the Wizard of Oz from the Wizard's perspective. Eh, we'll see...


  1. Also.

    I never stop laughing at that doofus.

    Wait, a Raimi movie without Bruce? SHAN'T!! hey, wouldn't Campbell make a SUPERB Wizard?

    We saw Spiderman in 3D. You're right, it didn't bring much to the movie that wasn't already there.

    1. Someone prevent that idiot from breeding. Unless he already did.

      Campbell will make an appearance, always does - I betcha a motion-capture munchkin. "That's what we call, 'pillow-talk', Toto." He'd make a great Wizard, tho, yeah!

      Worst application of 3D had to be the Jim Carrey version of "A Christmas Carol" (hey, don't mock me, in-laws were here and we were unlikely to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch), had a big scene somewheres in the middle with Scrooge sliding down a snowy hill, assorted mayhemming all around him, this scene just SCREAMED "Hey, look, kids, 3D, innit cool?! You know, woot?!" Blech.

  2. Was Bruce Campbell in "Drag Me To Hell"? I don't remember.

    I can't watch a 3D movie without thinking of Count Floyd's "Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses".

    1. Hrmph. Odd, no Campbell cameo in Drag Me To Hell - fun film.

      As far as Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses...


  3. I would watch the hell out of "The Drunk Knight Rises". That being said, the best "Batman" was the 1960's T.V. series. Christopher Nolan should have featured King Tut or Egghead as his villain (though who could do a decent Vincent Price impression?).

    1. Do it in cgi motion capture, Maurice LeMarche does a good Vincent Price, and I 'spect Jim Ward has the pipes.