Friday, March 1, 2013

Sometimes The Dumbness Writes Itself

The one social network I belong to is LinkedIn, used purely for networking/keeping my name out/following my field, resume, and such. I have said that I am ambitious, to a point anyway, that point being banker's hours, some control over my workday, a bump in responsibility, and pay, etc. As such, I get LinkedIn updates, articles, etc.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear (in my mailbox) but a subject line*:

(paleo), see the best advice Martha Stewart ever got!

The best advice I ever got
The wisdom that shaped 70+ influencers

And so on.

Silly paleo. Martha Stewart? Imma thunkin - 
1. Get a better lawyer
2. Get a better stockbroker
3. 1001 Easy Shivs Made From Cake Decoration Bits

*not captured for privacy concerns


  1. Here's my advice to every one of those cock-knockers:

    1. Admit that you got lucky, and that there are thousands of others who are better or more deserving at whatever it is you do.

    2. Being born in the right family is worth everything, isn't it? Not so much advice as telling you what really contributed to your wealth and success.

    3. Shut up about the "work hard and you can do whatever you want" bullshit, before someone snaps and turns you into an object lesson. It hasn't been true in at least a generation, if ever.

    1. I'd re-order that:
      2. becomes 1. The percentages of people moving up or down within class strata today is a painfully small number.

      THE NEW NUMBER TWO. And quit saying that having that luck makes you better - I work with people like that, "It may have been luck but I set myself up for success." I know too many good people having difficulties simply through luck of the draw, and I'm not better than them, and I cetainly don't begrudge them, say, HAELTH FUCKING INSURANCE. And I remember reading not oo long ago about companies roundfiling any application from someone unemployed under the theory that, "If they were good enough, they would t\still be working." Piss off.

      3. True, but no one in a generation has been turned into an object lesson - I want Jaime Dimon in chains.

  2. I also have a linkedIn profile and the amount of stupid spammy shit I've been getting from them these days is ridiculous.

    Also I finally added you to my blahgroll so I can remember to check out your shorts more frequently.

    1. Imma already trying to go for my MBA (brick and mortar), for reasons I've considered carefully and to my benefit. But to read LinkedIn, the returning adult MBA is the new Tickle-Me-Elmo, a requirement to be a third-string McDonalds deep-fryer cleaner, and every new online business school is popping them out like an M&M machine. So how long before MBA is useless? Jayzuz.

      Thanks, and I'm doing an upgrade tomorrow, change my gadgets and some such, not a full redesign, and will remain aware of internet traditions. ;)

  3. hey, paleo! Another commenter!

    (you know where this is going, doncha)


  4. (you know where this is going, doncha)

    500 comment threads?

  5. hmpf. Stop living in the Zardoz universe.

  6. Stop living in the Zardoz universe.

    But I look great in a body thong! Awwww!

    And goddammit, a bassoon, in the hands of a well trained, dedicated, long-time, long-haired, duck-call maker is a thing of beauty.


    500 comment threads?
    Please, dear FSM, someday...

  7. Damn, now I'm picturing Paleo in thigh-high hooker boots.

    1. I mean, I'll post the slides, but it can't be unseen. Choose wisely.

  8. I've never quite finished my linkin profile.

    But here's the deal...other people have it, then they invite you to join them or whatever the fuck it is, and you do it so as to not feel guilty.

    I've NEVER done Facebook, but that's what it's all about it, isn't?

    "Monetizing guilt."

    Eat shit, Sigmund Freud, you piker.

    1. no one can make you feel guilty without your permission, thunder.

      Facebook is what you make it. If people manipulate you through it, maybe it's not Facebook that's at fault?

      We use FB as a primary connection point to the entire robotics team. It's only a tool.

      Linkedin is pretty useless though. Everybody does it out of terror of losing their job. Although I have heard myths of people using the network to actually obtain jobs....

    2. I've heard those myths as well. Based on the kinds of "traffic" I see on my various linked contacts (when I can be arsed to look), it's mostly just a bunch of people constantly tweaking their online resumes, and a shit-ton of headhunters offering crappy jobs for low wages in other cities to overqualified people.

    3. Otherwise known as the American Dream 2.1

    4. "Monetizing guilt."
      Disagree - monetizing ego, maybe? Everyone loves to talk about/brag about/dramatize themselves and their lives. And social nets take the keywords and try to sell you siding/organic seeds/russian brides.

      Facebook is what you make it.
      Given that, as of now, it is legal for a corp. to 'watch' your FB page, be careful what you make it. I quit FB because I want to move it on up a bit, and even though I, no longer being a teenager, did not post pictures of my buttchugging party, or in fact anything particularly provocative, I found myself worring not only would an HR person take from it, but also who do I make what post available to, ie., should grandma get the buttchugging folder? Plus, everytime FB improves itself, you need a new Master's degree in privacy settings.

      Linkedin is pretty useless though. Everybody does it out of terror of losing their job. Although I have heard myths of people using the network to actually obtain jobs....
      Yeah, I'm in a fairly insular field, word spreads quickly, and you get the headhunters once they see the keywords. And I've gotten more than a couple 'job offer upon sec. check/drug test' type emails, you'd have to be on drugs to even check into it. But in my small arena, there are legitimate jobs to be found. Given my well known fondness for meople, however, my networking skills lack, umm, networking skills.

      shit-ton of headhunters offering crappy jobs for low wages in other cities to overqualified people.
      See above.

      Otherwise known as the American Dream 2.1
      Do electric zombies dream of positronic matrice branez?

  9. paleo, I'm old enough that I doubt any HR guy is ever going to do research on me ever again anyway.

    I suppose that could be why nobody ever calls me back though. But I doubt it's because of Facebook, which is almost wholly innocuous and there's really no link to my zombie persona. Although I have some questionable friends, it is true.

  10. Erm, color me a bit paranoid, perhaps - I worked as an electrician for years, dozens of employers, this is the first time I've worked for a major corporation, and 5 years in I am still learning some of the ropes. It is how it be.

  11. Well, there are no such things as major architectural corporations, for the most part. The largest firms in this burg are only 100 people or so.

    I guess if I ever got anywhere with governmental positions, it would be different; but with Turdwaffle's realm and the SequesterZilla, there's pretty much no chance of one of THOSE jobs actually materializing.

  12. Amusingly enough, I am running through 30 Rock, and there was just a joke from Jack about LinkedIn: "Poor bastard might as well be dead!"