Tuesday, October 23, 2012

F&%#k 'Em Bucky!

Wonderful Wisconsin sports weekend!

Badgers whomping the Gophers, Montee Ball for the win, 38 - 13. Packers bitchslapping the Rams, 30 - 20 (and it wasn't that close, St. Losers had some stuff in garbage time...)

Open letter to this girl's parents,

Dear Parents of Cool Lil' Chick,

Good job!

Love, paleo

Bestest commercial ever!

Ann Coulter, Living Fail

Read this from Deus Ex Malcontent

I've been as guilty as other in the past of using constructions such as Mann Coulter, and it's wrong, I know, from and to anyone, especially from someone who considers himself very LGBT friendly. Particularly given the fact that she is a truly horrible human being, no core principles whatsoever beyond self-aggrandizement and the Ann Coulter Memorial Yacht Fund, perfect BFF for Windsock Willard, I should be capable of stating my case against her without resorting to prejudiced nonsense.

So, in that spirit.

When you get to hell, say Hi to Breitbart, Cheney, and Falwell. And many members of the Bush Family. David Miscavige. That shrieking moron on CNBC.  Norquist, Ryan, and Greenspan throwing rose thorns and bukkake videos at the feet of your namesake, Ayn Rand. Soundtrack by Beiber.

Hey - you've finally made the A list!

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Simplest Argument

Let's face it, I bleed Green and Gold, but I have a Viking that I can't help but cheer for.

Chris Kluwe, genuine stand-up dude and truly human being. Yer doing good, man.

Your Daily Jackhole

An Open Letter:

Dear Sir,

I must say your green Explorer stood out in traffic this morning, size of a small country, Eddie Bauer package (so cool, much cooler than me), I can only assume you had the GPS rockin', KQRS Morning PeristalsisShow being humorous at you, probably a rabid lifelong Vikings fan until yesterday (but we'll see next week!) and your window cling, rear window,
I'm Compensating For Your Hybrid
damn dude, I want to hang out with you!

What is it with a certain breed of people, let's call them, 'conservatives', or 'righties', or 'teabaggers', that is it so damnably important to be an asshole? What's the matter with maybe being a little kind to Mother Earth? Some people do need SUV's, its true, and I'm fine with that, although I suspect yours has never seen a road rougher than a Sam's Club parking lot. Go ahead though, have the SUV, it's your right, you can pay for the gas, I drive a small truck and need the hell out of it, couldn't do my life with a Geo anymore. But is your little dick measuring comment really necessary? Compensating is right.

Love, paleo

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Normal People Don't Do This

Damn boss, you are crazy-awesome.

At breakfast, watched this live, as a lunacidal Austrian, Felix Baumgartner, rode a balloon to 23 miles in the air, subspace, jumped from 23 miles in the air, sub-space, to emphasize, 23 DAMN MILES, UP, and fell to earth, including a 4 minute 19 second freefall at over 700 miles an hour.

Slow clap, captain, slow clap!

Remodel Bloggling Weeks 6 And 7

It's been a couple busy weeks, 2 weeks of MEP rough-in, but especially E(lectrical), given my tendency to want to hit every item on my wishlist, Sweetie's wishlist, any-damn-thing else I could conceivably conceive of.

And you know what? Pulled it off. Last Tuesday and Wednesday had the full slate of rough-in inspections, getting the goathead.

Thursday, insulators.
Friday morning, drywall. Srsly, the whole damn place in under 4 hours. !!!. The general contractor has frequently been the usual thorn that GCs are, we have complaints but have had resolution (so far). But their crews, my god, their crews, are amazing! Oh yeah, Friday afternoon, first course of tape and mud done. Also. !!!.

Just have a little video tour here, the narrator's voice is me. (Can you believe with that croak that I sing like an angel? Really! background laughter Hush, sweetie! My blog!)

laughpushhootowww This is Sweetie! - my husband is ins- woman!shuffleshufflebackspacetypetypebackspacechecktehvows

Ahem. Video.

Ahem. Blogger is suckage in plaid underwear, and will not allow the loading of video from my own naked lady machine. So, I guess there is now a paleotectonics youtubes channel. Let's try this again.

Ahem. Video.

Sunday Surrealism

Loves me some Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister!)

And Helllooooooo, Nurse!

I Need To Invest With This Guy

Think Progress ran a little blurb on steps Ireland is taking to save people's homes.

Down in the comments was this little gem:

clithunt69 (signed in using yahoo)If it is a Fannie or Freddy loan I don't see the problem in reducing the principal. However a moral hazard exists down the road if real estate makes significant gains in a short period of time and the home owner decides to sell at a tidy profit and move to Ecuador.
Let us, in the spirit of x-tian charity, ignore most of the reasons this person is dumb. (Except, Ecuador? Really? I don't even what the.)

However, mister clithunt69, if that is your real name, I must ask a question in a short statement.

Emailing Mom.

Elaborate? Sure, no worries.

From: clithunt69@yahoo.whatever
To: Mom@geocities.com; Grandma_Margaret@littlebiddy.net
Subject: FW: Christmas Party

Dear Momma and Gammy, thanks for the socks they our great, I love you to so much!
Love, Clit
Please 'splain? I'm rapt with attention...

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Vignette From Supper With My Wife

This is a cocktail.

Quite good, made by Sweetie, with love.

CC and Diet Dew.

paleo learned, amidst Sweetie's larfs, that a chopstick, used as a mixer stick, works less well as a straw.


The Minnesota Queer Haters Have Gone Full Timecube

Minnesotans-United-to-Persecute-Immoral-Creatures-Who-Have-Better-Taste-In-Clothing, Music, Food, And-Whatever-Else-Those-Five-TV-Guys-Are-Teaching-Our-Children-Along-With-Probably-Butt-Chugging have an associate called The Cassandra Report, sending me long emails, devoid of HTML, basically just word docs, encouraging us to pray that all GLBT either find Jesus, Marcus Bachmann, or burn in hell.

Ahhh, xtian charity.

This little smidget was the latest release:
The consequences of marriage are reflected in the fact that children in average, intact, married families are more likely to thrive(2) than children in average single and step-parent families, or families headed by cohabiting couples. In fact communities where “good-enough” marriages are common have better outcomes for children, women, and men than do communities marked by high rates of divorce(3), unmarried childbearing, cohabitation(4), and high-conflict or violent marriages. Moreover, these benefits derived from a strong marriage culture extend across lines of race, ethnicity, and class. Marriage,  it seems, has important positive biosocial consequences for both adults and children(5).
What. The. Blithering. Hell. Are. You. Arguing?

Let us explore just one glaring idiocy, correlation and causality. Perhaps it may be easier to be married, have teh 'traditional' life, IF YOU"RE NOT SO DAMNABLY STRESSED TRYING TO SURVIVE EACH DAY. Education! Jobs! Nutrition! A safe bed at night!

Whoops, sorry, the paleosocialist leapt out there for a moment, let me cure him.

"I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you."

Better now.

John Helmberger from Minnesotans United In Peeing Themselves followed shortly with a letter about the dreadful consequences of same-sex marriage in Canada.
Gay Canadians are getting married and being treated with basic human respect, and an archbishop had his fee-fees hurt.

If'n you want, take a look at the whole bloody stupid Cassandra thingy after the jump. Ya gots yer $16 words (inflation), quotes from unknown philosophers and such, and I'll be damned if I can find a single argument against gay marriage (not that I've been able to yet.) This is a giant pile of cherry-picked statistics, mixed correlation and causality, and the writer either needs to get on drugs, change drugs, or get off drugs. Pick one, Slappy, lemme know how it goes, as I'm sure you will.

Geek-Gasm 2, Teh Coleco Boogaloo

From the Oct. 6 football game between Ohio State* and Nebraska*, by the OSU marching band:

It should be noted that this is awesome, and a thing in the history of history! To wit, ya gots yer marching band. Old-school video games. Yay and stuff!!!

*Important note regarding college football. OSU and Nebraska are two Big Ten teams, Nebraska as of recently. Both teams and states have histories of turning out serial penguin molesters and country musicians, along with Michigan and Michigan State, and as such should not only be removed from the Big Ten, but from the rolls of NCAA history. Illinois, Purdue, Indiana, Iowa, wevs. Northwestern deserves respect because they have for years actually produced student athletes. Minnesota will never amount to anything. Penn State should be burned to the ground, ploughed under, the earth salted, then jumped on. Rinse and repeat.

Note From The Editors

paleo was busy at home and could not come to school for teh last two weeks. We are soryy. We will make him turn in his homework every couple days from now on.

love, paleo's mother

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Blinders On High!

I refuse to make a link to these screwballs. From Minnesotans United Against Any-Sexual-Activity-Not-Endorsed-By-Barbara-Bush*:

Marriage Minute: The Slippery Slope When Marriage Is Redefined
Same-sex marriage activists would like everyone to believe marriage can be redefined with no impact on society. This is not true. Traditional marriage would not exist alongside same-sex “marriage.” The new genderless “marriage” would replace our current definition. Redefining marriage puts us on a slippery slope of change, much of it fueled by the demands of same-sex marriage activists.

Redefining marriage. By FSM, that makes so much sense! I've been on the wrong side all along!

  • Biblically - if a man dies, his brother must marry his widow! If Sarai can't have children, rape Hagar! And per St. Paul, you chicks, shut it!
  • Legislatively - that whole Loving vs Virginia? Poor miscegenating peckernecks, messing with teh natural order of things - White Protestant land-owners, their carefully cultivated and debutted white women, tobacco farmers, random pieces of green paper, everyone else.
  • Culturally - Purity Balls and Rings! (Fair warning, following this link may cause brain damage that bleach and prefrontal lobotomies, or this bottle in front of me, can't reach. It's been around for a bit, but still creeps me out mightily, just sick!)

Look, you dumb bastards, that is a complete bullshit statement, 'definition of marriage'. Marriage today is wildly different from just 50 years ago, and unrecognizable from 100 years ago. You horrible, rotten jackasses - you know damn well that this is not about the 'definition of marriage', it is about your fear that if it becomes legal, YOU will immediately be overcome with the desire to present ass. For that matter, the forced birth people don't give a shit about the babbies - note their constant shrieking pleas to give mothers pre-natal care, and then properly fund education? Neither did I. It is about their fears, and their need to follow, and their desire to control people. Hell, the x-tians don't even really give a damn about Islam, they admire the moslem strawman they've built. Veils, stonings - Jerry Falwell is masturbating in hell. But it's those funny names, too many syllables, not something strong, like Dick, or Strom.

Damn, these pricks make me want to puke! I gotta get off that mailing list before I have an aneurysm. Any Minnesotans reading this please contribute and then Vote No, and sip on the salty tears of teh morons. Non-Minnesotans? Please contribute and rail on any MN family you have.

I am sick to my soul... {/rant}

*They don't know how much wiggle room that actually gives them - Babsie was teh O.D., the Original Dominatrix**.

**Brain Bleach is on me! Please redeem your coupons at Dr. Paleo's Pre-Frontal Lobotomies For Less! Now with two locations! Or at least, paleo seeing double! S'okay, ya got two lobes!