Ohmigawdohmigawdohmigawdohmigawdohmigawd

Early Christmas is here!

A brief review of some events:
Batshit-crazy Michele Acid-Eyes Bachmann ran for the republican nomination for PUSA in starting in summer 2011, and for all intents and purposes moved to Iowa. In January 2012, after finishing behind Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and, well, probably me, she pulled up her tent-revival stakes. 
Upon the completion of her campaign, and her triumphant return to teh Congress where as a member of the Republican caucus and the Teabag Caucus, she promptly voted to defund Obamacare for the 33-39th times, as stormclouds appeared on the horizon. Campaign finance irregularities, including the apparent bribing of an Iowa State Senator, Kent Sorenson, to support her campaign, and the theft of the membership list of an Iowan homeschooling organization to be used for direct mailings, have gotten public and private ethics organizations r-e-e-e-a-a-l-l-y interested in her goings on.
These primary source of many of the allegations, although there are many corroborative witnesses, was the Bachmann campaign evangelical outreach director, Peter Waldron, by any measure a fully-formed fucking wackadoodle. His motivations are, in my opinion, two-fold, and I can see them, actually, being legitimate concerns... 

• He claims that staff, including him, were not paid for a couple of years
• (My pure conjecture) Someone will fall on the nearest sword (NO, MARCUS! A literal, albeit metaphorical, sword never mind...) to protect The Girl With The Faraway Eyes (please read Charlie Pierce, that is all), with, admittedly, the promise of a healthy chunk of Wingnut Welfare upon his/her exit from Club Fed, and Waldron prefers it not be him

She had the opportunity to make all of this go away with a check, something her supporters, at the time, before all of this threatened to grow, would have done without question, that's politics, not even particularly remarkable. She did not, choosing instead to publicly insult him. And the growing scandal has ended her career in Congress, for at least as of now, she has declared that she will not be running for MN-6 in 2014

THE PUNCHLINE - TURKEY AND CRANBERRIES TIME

Monday, online, Waldron uploaded BACHMANNISTAN.

Ummm. SQUEEEEEE!

I don't normally (anymore) ready political memoirs (exceptions: All the President's Men - Woodward & Bernstein; The Boys On The Bus - Timothy Crouse; Fear and Loathing On The Campaign Trail '72 - Dr. Thompson), but I've heard terms bandied about such as Diva (guess who - yes, Marcus! Kidding...) and Rasputin (Keith Nahigian, the campaign manager replacing Ed Rollins, who apparently took command of the client with an iron fist), and shall be downloading this sumbitch (assuming it ain't'nt like $40) this afternoon.

I tell ya, FSM loves a humble man...

It's Been A Good Week To Be A Democrat

I'll say it. I love Hillary Clinton.

Not her politics, especially, I'd vote for her in the general against any of the Grand Old Brownshirts but she's a bit moderate whereas I am a full-blown socialefticommigressive. However, I will not deny, it can not be denied, that:
SHE. IS. REALLY. GOOD. AT. HER. JOB.



Motherfucker's gonna have to buy the large neosporin to salve his tuchus after that spanking. Go to hell, ya bunch of shrieking red-assed buffoons.

Viralize this, please!
via TP

You Can't Make Wine With Sour Grapes

We are making supper, watching a bit of TV, and Sweetie is enjoying a shockingly good chocolate grasshopper, whilst I enjoy a bit of pre-dinner schadenfreude.

It's been entertainment galore watching the Pubbies eat their own livers, including eldest-yet-still-military-eligible-Romney-Son Tick grab daddy by his magic underwear and heave him under the nearest 47% person conveyance vehicle. Ha. Ha.

“He wanted to be president less than anyone I’ve met in my life. He had no desire to . . . run,” said Tagg, who worked with his mother, Ann, to persuade his father to seek the presidency. “If he could have found someone else to take his place . . . he would have been ecstatic to step aside. He is a very private person who loves his family deeply and wants to be with them, but he has deep faith in God and he loves his country, but he doesn’t love the attention.”             Via Boston Globe

 "This was a very difficult year, with the strength of the Obama ground game and the fact that Romney just didn't inspire much enthusiasm," said Jamie Radtke, an unsuccessful 2012 Senate candidate and founder of the Virginia Federation of Tea Party Patriots, a statewide umbrella group that continues to expand and now has over 60 member organizations.        Via WSJ

Tea-party activist Greg Fettig, a founder of Hoosiers for a Conservative Senate and a backer of Mr. Mourdock, said the main lesson from the loss is that activists need to be sure the campaigns they support are well-run.        Via WSJ

Dear TeaBaggers and Trog Romney,

Are you goddamn serious? 

Greg Fettig, your candidate said that rape from pregnancy was God's will. What would be your definition of a well run campaign? Oh yeah, sneak the hateful bastard under the radar and then let him bully women to his heart's fill. Class all the way, sir.

Jamie Radtke, Willard was NEVER the popular candidate with your little KoffeeKlatchKlan. Your folks admitted that frequently during the race, but the feeling was that with enough dogwhistles and legislative shenanigans and gerrymandering, you could turn out enough hateful inbreds to make the scary blah man go away. Do not pretend this is some tremendous insight. Also, apparently you did not inspire much enthusiasm. 

Taggart, you wanker, the thing your dad truly loves is money, and he pissed away a pile of it. Not all or even much of it his own, of course, but a PILE of green. Money that under his normal operating procedure would be sent abroad, to keep the rest of his money company. Principles, assuming he ever had any, he pissed away freely, saying anything, contradicting himself in the next clause, tossing the collective salad of any group likely to vote for him. Yes, he wanted to be president, and you're dumb.

 I do wonder what stage of the grieving process this is, is this denial or step 3a, cognitive dissonance. Assholes.

If Only I'd Have Known What I Was Losing...

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Deck Everyone In The Halls

Yesterday, so called “Black Friday”, a bukkake orgy of consumeristic stuff.

About mid-morning, as I finished my appointment to replace my truck window, Sweetie, being a lovely, kind, and savagely impatient woman, requested I do her a favor, given my proximity to one of the many malls in the Cities. Not the Mall of America, it would have been a short conversation, but one of the larger, somewhat more upscale malls. I adore my wife, and wish to make her happy, and this seemed reasonable. My train of thought being, ‘well, it’s noon, all the people who started shopping last night at 8 pm have hopefully had their heads pop, like a blueberry in a rotisserie oven, due to the shame of destroying someone’s Thanksgiving so that WalMart/Target/Kohl’s/Macy’s/Billy-Bob’s House Of Live Hamsters could make a couple extra bucks’.* Although I do not handle crowds well, and have in fact, over time, gotten worse at being in crowds, I thought I could deal.

In short, zoo. In short as well, holy dammit.

I couldn’t deal. Not a damn bit. In all seriousness, a fairly short exposure destroyed me physically and mentally for several hours. I was shaking. I had stomach acid that could etch stainless steel, giving me an idea for another career, but as creating such an abrasive was not, ultimately, as pleasant as many things, including repeated blows to the melon, I felt it to be an unsustainable path. It was an experience I shall not repeat, save under extraordinary circumstances, and then I’m bringing a cattle prod.

I did complete my mission, and now with some distance, have a few things to say.

I adore Christmas. I love Christmas. I am the spirit of Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. I love to give gifts. Not going to claim any particular hypocrisy, I love receiving gifts as well, but I stone get off on giving gifts. As much as people in general annoy me, especially mindless mobs, I would take a bullet for a friend and I like to show my appreciation and I love to give stuff. I understand the ‘mission to buy stuff’, it’s part of the whole ‘giving’ gig. I love to make my wife happy, makes me all warm and glowwy, and fortunately, she is very good at picking out/up the stuff I give her –

- sorry honey kidding yes I’ll be in the garage –

- and I love seeing her smile. So I get it. But I want to endorse an idea.

One gift, one good gift, for your loved ones. Good does not necessarily equate money, by the way, good equates to cool, heartfelt, smile-causing. Good equals putting some damn thought into it, if your child shows logic skills, get a Snakes And Ladders game, something you can do with your kid, rather than this year’s Torture-Your-Uncle-The-Geologist Barney or whatever the latest fad is. Fuck that shit, live like people, people.

I know this is nothing new, just my two cents, and I am very much a liberal, War-On-Christmas-What-Would-Jesus-Buy, let’s put some awesome sauce into the season rather than blind consumerism, type. 

Note: These two cents have not been endorsed by any major religions. Pat Robertson/Jerry Falwell/Saint Sarah, teh Virgin Of Wasilla say, “Buy, bitchez!”

The economy, while oh-so-painfully slowly growing**, is still poor, meaning that I feel safe guessing much of yesterday’s ejaculations were caused by the rubbing of plastic against laser scanner. Credit, by definition and design, is suxxors.*** C’mon people. Seriously?

A Plausible Pile Of Positivity

Now, since this is the beginning of the Christmas season, I am listening to the 24hr Xmas radio. Love it, honestly, I’m a real bug for Christmas, LOVE IT. I want to share a couple favorites. The first two, well, let’s face it, I is a weirdo.

Love Scully and Mulder…

TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

Patton Oswalt does the best deconstruction of yesterdays bullshit possible…

I debated including this, due to my enormous machoness, but I assure, I love this song un-ironically, proof, that as wildly annoying Mariah Carey is, she has occasionally shown a bit of talent, and the association with ‘Love, Actually’,  a movie that I also love un-ironically, don’t hurt…

Now, I did notice, and will not post proof because my eyes will bleed, that there are now remakes of the most insipid Xmas song ever, one by the wildly entertaining (in life if not at all in the musical world) George Michael, thrill junkie/idjit extraordinaire, 'Last Christmas'. Life ain't'nt totally perfect...

It's Christmas season! W00t!!1!!!

*Seriously, y’all are Satan. Suck a tailpipe.

**Which brings another thingy this holiday season to be thankful for, that the Lords Of Kolob decided that Willard Romney is to serve a greater purpose, arising with Transformer Jesus**** in teh Last Days, thereby saving us from 4 years of the thorough eradication of the working class in this country so that Billy-Bob, of House Of Live Hamsters Fame, can build a car elevator on his estate next to those Walton scamps.

***Credit card companies? Also Satan. Gonna need a bunch of tailpipes, or all y’all gotta share.

****If you’ve been exposed to the sheer IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION lunacy of the Left Behind books, read Fred Clark’s (Slacktivist) fisking of it. Well worth the time to drop down the rabbit hole.

Okay, Party Is Over, Time To Get To Work

Nice way to wake up!

OBAMA RE-ELECTED.
Early voting results indicate he owes the traditional progressive coalition, so let's hold his damn feet to the stovetop, fuck the 'Grand Bargain' bullshit. He's not been terrible, surprisingly and pleasingly positive in many arenas, and I again have hope. But it's up to us to tell him what we expect, and grade him on that.

MN MARRIAGE AMENDMENT CRUMPLED UP IN THE DUSTBIN.
I longed for sweet, smooth fundie tears to adorn my breakfast. Pancakes?

MN PHOTO VOTER AMENDMENT NOT ALLOWED.
I'm a cynic, and actually, thought this one would pass handily, as people are dumb. Must re-calibrate something...

CHIP CRAVAACK WILL WORK FOR FOOD
2010 Teabagger surf-pony Chip 'Chip' Cravaack has been sent back to Aitkin, where he will end up selling the extra 'A' to buy matches for heat.

TOMMY THOMPSON IN WI TAKES UP FULL TIME ALCOHOLISM
Yay Tammy Baldwin! I have a relation who knows Tammy pretty well and says she is very cool, and everything I've seen, she is, so GO GET 'EM TAMMY. And, Thompson suffering has it's own particular odeur of schadenfreude! 

TEH BAD.

BATSHIT SHELLEY LIKELY STAYS
90% + counted, and she has a 1% margin, not sure of the re-count trigger, half a percent? She was a teabagger (Marcus's ears perk up) before it was cool...