A 2016 Election Plea

Every comment section I look at nowadays is full of Democratic Party intramural squabbling. So. If I may:

Jesus Insane Amphibious Christ wearing a teddy, fucking fuck, we are so good at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Typical D circular firing squad. No wonder I hate people!

First of all, if you like Sen. Sanders, vote Sen. Sanders. If you like Sec'y Clinton, vote Sec'y Clinton. And then vote for whoever wins the primary. 

Driftglass' Law - Imma vote for Sanders in the primary, then for whoever he tells me to in the general. 

paleo's Addendum: I suspect it's not going to be Donald J Fucking Trump, accidental pregnancy as a result of anal sex Ted Cruz, or Marky Mark, the World's Oldest Justin Bieber Cosplayer.

Calling Sen. Sanders a starry-eyed unicorn fucker and hypocrite, on guns, whatever, ignores that fact that Senate proposals are very craftily made to screw all of us, and any Senator interested in the people needs to be nuanced, and make some lousy votes because the perfect is the enemy of the good. 

Hating Sec'y Clinton means you're responding to 25 years of smears by right-wing filth. She's a politician, not Vlad the Impaler.

Expecting either of them to work miracles ignores the fact that the President is not a dictator, and he/she will not have free rein. See: 

Motherfucking gerrymandering.

Second, either of them is more likely to respond to our applied pressure than any filthy RWNJ, who will not give a molecular shit.

THE ELECTION IS NOT OVER IN NOVEMBER. AND THE ELECTION IS FOR MORE THAN THE PRESIDENCY.

We have to vote locally, and for legislatures and governorships, and then we have to keep fighting. 

Every. Single. Goddamn. Day. 

Every day, think of a good way to take a ten ton press (with votes) to the shit-filled melons of the Filth Party. 

Every day, think of a good way to keep the pressure on the people we elect to work our issues. If they know they won't get any pushback, anyone of them, they do dumbass things.

And THINK. Use your damn heads.

Clearly, God Drinks. A Bit.

Look. Just look. Or don't. It will be better for your brain if you don't.

This has made the rounds. Some observations per paleo:

1. Look at the smile. Either some lunatic Fox-addled 89 year old teabagger just donated his Socialism Security check to the Ceremonial Palin Pool Endowment, otherwise known as SARAHPAC, or she is having teh buttsechs right there. Of the two, Imma prefer it be the sign of a successful grift, as there are people who find pleasure, passion, hell, even utility, in buttsechs. Let me put it this way: of Sarah or buttsechs, I would not vote for Sarah for Vice President.
2. 'Fuc_ You' - Two options here, ignoring the name 'Michael Moore', which they could copy out of any web post by Hate-Gnome Michelle Malkin or Falafel Bill O'Ragey, so that's easy, or have daughter Drano transcribe. But, the word 'fuck'. Four letters. That's a lot of letters, hell, nearly five, especially if they have to make it to 'U'. I could see the "But Sarah Wanked At Me" club having that difficulty. The second option is that they believe they have invented their own Enigma Machine, and the libs won't catch the hidden meaning. Ummm. So, isn't Princess Sudafed Of The Wasilla Crystal Fest a big Jesus-beater? I thought that fucking moral goddam motherfuckers didn't use the fucktastic word 'fuck' at all?
3. The finely drawn, I must know the make of the protractor they must have used, gunsights in the name 'Michael Moore'. So, errr, when The Woman With The Blue Meth Colored Eyes put gunsights on the locations of Democratic congresspeople, getting Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D. AZ) shot and six people, including a little kid, killed, you bloodthirsty grift-bitch, she claimed they were surveyor marks showing the districts of the congresspeople. Which district is Michael Moore representing?
4. Imma also guess she's hammered. She's in Iowa right now with Michele Bachmann downing Diesel and worrying that Marcus is conversion therapying Todd. Yes, I wrote that. Share it with your spouses.

Please run for President, Empress Cariboufucker. Please. I have to see this. Seriously.

Okay, Now The Universe Is Just Mocking Me

Two stories in the news recently:

Southern Twatwaffles Demonstrate Their Patriotism And Racism (from Salon)
Yes, those oh so proud Merkins south of the Masie-Dixie Line (and presumably Indiana, Pennsyltucky, Cincinnati) have (admittedly, apparently not celebrated much at the official level in most of those places, but still on the books) holidays celebrating the birthday of Bobby (Brutal Slaveholder) Lee. Also, (admittedly), most pre-dated MLK day. So fucking what. You have a holiday celebrating a military commander who gave up his oath to take up arms against his country and his fellow US. Army personnel. Are you merely trying to reach Gary Busey levels of self-awareness, or is there a longer term plan/larger goal? (The answer is no.)

Holly Hobby Lobby Cheats On Husband In Military Service, Finds Jesus, No Humor Erupts (h/t Addicting Info)
Holly Fisher (I have no problems using her name - she put herself in the public eye the first time she found Jesus) was a highly visible campaigner for the Hobby Lobby corporation shitting on half of the human race. She then cheated on her active duty military husband. She then got caught. She then found Jesus again. She then gained fans, and her existing fans became more rabid.

Comment the first, on the Confederate Pig-Fellators (my own comment at Sadly! No.). The comment itself is in answer to: why do Democrats not vote as much as we should, and could it be because we sense we are already doomed. It's also on topic for this post.

How do you fight that, though? 

A traitorous bastard. Who lost. Yeah, he had moments of military brilliance, and the almost insane dedication of the members of ANV, but the question was never really in doubt, he was never going to be able to significantly impact the manufacturing bases of the North, nor could he ever match the North in sheer numbers – we invented the zerg rush. The best he could have hoped for was the ’63 campaign where he hoped to take Washington DC and then sue for peace. Meanwhile, Sherman was half-heartedly informing the South in general of the poor political choices made by their leadership. And Lee knew all of that, and was asked to serve his country, and said ‘hell with you, I like slavery!’. 

And for the south, mentioned several times in several documents, from their POV it was all about teh people-owning. Lincoln as much as said all he wanted to do was preserve the Union, slavery or not – this was power-play as much and more than principle. 

Educational assessment has changed since No Child Learning Basics so that rankings of states for educational achievement no longer really mean anything – everyone is teaching to the test. I don’t remember, nor actually would have ever had a reason to know, how Arkansas stood in rankings before NCLB, but like most southern states of the time (I do remember, for many years, Mississippi being 50th in state rankings, that high because there were only 50 states) I suspect that the majority of children received educations lacking in the learning of stuff. That’s how you end up with this sort of truly amazing bullshit. 

HM, your point is good,re: liberals and not voting because we’re convinced we’re probably doomed. I wonder how much of a factor in that POV is because we can’t even begin to see what it would take to save these goddamn morons from themselves. And how much effort and time and, sad to say but this is in the calculation, money, can we spare? I want to save the kids, but their parents are so, often willfully, stupid that I can’t help but want to just say go to hell. 

2 cents.

I'm not a Civil War scholar, and am happy to take criticism/correction if I've missed or mis-stated anything, but I think I'm basically correct.

Comment the second on Holly.

Are you fucking kidding me.

No, seriously. It's time to turn paleo loose. I'm gonna screw everything, men, women, Ford Fairlanes, ceiling fans. Imma invent new sexual positions - 69? You puss. I'm going for the 276. I'm gonna deal metamucil in old folks homes, first shot free to get them hooked. I'm then going to find Jesus, probably in my bubble bath after a quality mexican meal, and run for President on the Romneybot v.2032/paleo ticket.

We're fucked! W00t!1!!!

Random Thoughts and Pointed Anger

I'm annoyed on many fronts, infuriated on several more, so this is gonna be one of those pot pourer thingies. To preface, I have bile in my bladder, and hate, burning, like a thousand million very vigorous exothermic reactions, in my molybdenum.

- Its been a great year for Lil' Waynie LaLil'Peter, so many many pointless deaths! So many goddam lunatics!
I'll say these things out loud again. Stringent, stringent licensing for carry of any sort - basically, if you feel a need to carry a gun, you should not ever have a carry permit. Serious reform of the police, including firing and confiscating the weapons of about 85% of the cops extant. Pay the good cops what they're worth. All confiscated weapons should immediately go to the nearest smelter. Close the gun shows...period. I'm fucking tired of the penis replacements. A guy in Minnesota ambushed his neighbor because she yelled at him for riding his mower on her lawn, she survived. But the excuse given is that he had PTSD. "Well, paleo, what are you gonna do?" Hmmm.
PAY TO GET HIM HELP FOR THE PTSD AND DON'T LET HIM HAVE A GUN.
GAH!

- Please to kindly fasten seatbelt before driving off the cliff. I don't need to see any last minute gymnastics.

- The radio announcer for newsbreaks @JimMiklaszewski , known for bloody horrible jokes-

"And now there is a new way to wipe your ass! Yes, that's right, a carwash designed for donkeys has just opened..." 

must be fed to ravenous ducks, then nuked from orbit, but he did not touch this dumb person. A radio announcer from an internet station said 

(para) "the tree in Griffith Park, Los Angerless, dedicated to former Beatle George Harrison has been guffaw chuckle snort pees self eaten by beetles! Whocouldanode! Oh the irony! Oh the humanity!" dies

Shut up. Trees eaten by beetles? You've just described half of life in the Twin Cities. Its a big circle. The beetles eat the trees, the trees die, the city replants the trees, my dog eats the trees. Please note please, the Beatles were not playing amateur ornithopterists when they came up with their name, they were making a play off of Buddy Holly and the Crickets.

- By the way, George Harrison is the second greatest former Beatle, based solely on 

Listen now please.
Greatest former Beatle? Ringo. Full stop, I'm right, bugger off. While Paul was writing 'Liverpool Oratorio' , Ringo was touring with Joe Walsh. While John Lennon was in a 5 year alcoholic haze before giving half of his comeback album to Yoko Ono, Ringo was in "Caveman". Ringo always remembers it's just rock and roll, have fun and give thanks you can have a career where you can have fun. And 

is awesome.
(Also, Yoko Ono is awesome. Loves me some Yoko. She does not give a flying dammit what anyone, including me thinks of her. She can't fucking sing. She doesn't care about my opinion. Swoon!)

- I listen to a lot of podcasts, and have recently found and listened to Clyde Lewis, Portland OR radio/internet presence. Think Alex Jones without the permanent aneurysm and with a sense of humor. I know, me, right? Loves me some weirdness. I can peel through the eps to avoid the 'faked moon landing' stuff. About six months ago, he babbled about the Hollywood Sex Magick Underground, Miley Cyrus as the Trickster devil baby panda sidecar burrito, acid and sacrifice. I call it Tuesday. He is worried about the resurgence of the Satanic Panic. Ummm.
There was a real Satanic Panic in the 70's and 80's, and it wasn't about consenting adults, twerking, snorfing down every powder in sight, wiring their lesbionic accessories to the nearest 480V outlet. Real people got hurt, by cops and prosecutors seeing a sexy way to drum up business and budgets, by people looking for answers in tragedies with no answers, by worthless preachers using the threat of SATAN to protect children from thinking. People spent time in prison because prosecutors and psychologists manipulated children. Actual cases of child abuse were not enough - now there had to be baby sacrifice. Ignoring the wave of babies not being kidnapped. Pat Pulling and Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons, I feel bad for her kid, feel bad for the obvious problems she had. My parents were bothered about D&D, primarily the part where I would disappear Friday at about 7pm and show up Sunday for church. We became experts at casting one spell - Repel Chicks. Goddamit, lady person, we were just little frakkin nerds, for Sauron's sake.

I apologize for this.

So Clyde, don't pretend that a bunch of Hollywood idiots playing as if they were the London Hellfire Club are any sort of trend towards armegeddon. Hell, I loves me some Miley Cyrus - she wins the Golden Troll forevah. Not especially curious about her latest chart-topper but wevs. Have fun, Miles!
(Oh, and Kennedy? I take the position of Bill Hicks, when he explained why people can't go up to the window of the Texas Book Depository Assassination Museum - because you'll look out the window and "THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY!" Oswald was very likely involved in some manner...and a patsy, and debateable as to whether he was the actual killer.)

- Its been in the 80's for the last few weeks. "Oooh, paleo what a beautiful day-y-y." 
Shut up. 80 is the gate to hell. 80.1 is hell, and the metaphorical representation of evil, who I treat much like I treat the metaphorical symbol of good, to pick a word, ummm, so much bullshit, is ramming the nearest pitchfork into your nearest available nipple. Which, you know, whatever floats yer boat. 80 does not float mine. When I take over as the metaphorical symbol of good, 55degF every goddamn day.

- Speaking of the 80's, and radio up above, I'd been on a metal shift for a few weeks, courtesy of a Twilter friend. (caution- loud, angry, cool)


Then a certain young dead friend threw me back into the young paleo days. SO I've been listening to what is laughingly called oldies radio a bit, reaching for the good:

within the huge amount of dreck.
(Imagine I have put an Eagles link here. I will not because I really respect you. You are not like those others.)
But, one point I must reiterate. The Eagles are a good band, technically proficient, well produced, and certainly like many people I've heard a lot of them. But please. Stop. No more 'Life In The Fast Lane'. No more Reelin' In the Years'. Strangle 'Stairway to Heaven'. There is a lot of music out there, qualifying as oldies/classic rock. (Poison is neither, KOOL 108 Twin Cities. Shut up.) Try 'Seven Bridges Road' or anything from when the Eagles were aping Gram Parsons. Try 'Bad Sneakers'. If you want long Led Zeppelin, try:


- Hell with it. Ta.

Frothing Bullet Eruption Is My Rebecca Black Cover Band Name

I've had a hard time following/commenting on politics lately. Not that I haven't, I've compared politicians to offal and teabaggers to tripe many times in the last few 46 years. But I'm having a hard time keeping perspective, or any sense of humor about it.

Hobby Lobby. Let's Sue The President For The Same Shit President Drooler And Vice President Shooter Did A Thousand Times. How Many Smokie Link Sized Republican Cocks Can Luke Russert Fit In His Orifi At Once. Has Governor Half Term Finally Boned The Shark. Murrieta. The last one will make another appearance

I'm a proud freak, a genuine weirdo. I believe in Bigfoot. I believe in ghosties. Not all people reporting UFOs are hallucinating or mistaken. I also believe in science. How many earthquakes must occur in Oklahoma before the inbred populace picks up on the fact that Grannie Erma is less interested in sex than she was before, and also she fell down a 500 ft. sinkhole, and oh, hey, there is a fracking operation on our patio, they paid me $49.95 for the rights and fuck you, commie.

Why do I juxtapose crypto-science and mainstream science?

The freak in me thinks mainstream scientists can be arrogant and pig-headed, and would not risk their precious reputations on the study of anything not already proven to exist. The scientist in me thinks most crypto-researchers have difficulty with the scientific method. In both cases, I am right. The two camps vociferously disagree with one another, and yet...

Bill Nye, the Science Guy, who I sacrifice a bull to daily, gave time to Ken Ham to debate whether Adam and Eve and their, for no particularly good reason, incredibly genetically diverse offspring rode a stegosaurus to the apple tree. (Note: They didn't.) Stephen Hawking has yet to mount an RPG to The Captain's Chair and go 'reason' with Lord Viscount Monckton. (Although, Dr. Hawking, we would make a fortune on PPView. I'll only take 60%. Productions fees and such. Stuff.) Although I've never met the men, as portrayed on TV, Matt Moneymaker (Finding Bigfoot) and Zak Bagens (Ghost Adventures) are complete doofi and go a long way to making the crypto-scientists look foolish.

I have yet to stalk Moneymaker with a silver bullet, or wire the Ed Hardy aisle at the Target where I suspect Bagans spends all the money to 13.8kV. There are shouting matches at conferences. There are, after 5 or 36 beers, shoving matches at conferences.

AIN'TN'T NO GUNFIRE OR BUGZAPPERS AT CONFERENCES.

Now. politics. And in the news, the central American child refugee crisis.

Sweet FSM, but the RWNJ's have completely lost their shit. The children, refugees under a Bush era law, and just looking to get to live someplace with fewer gunshots (boy, did they go the wrong direction), need food, water, social workers. What do they get instead?

"Oh, but paleo, with modern cameras, they can do 17,000 exposures per second, and then some liberal picked out the worst ones. Like when Michele Bachmann's eyes rolled back in her head eating a corndog, realizing she hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since high school. And when Marcus Bachmann's eyes rolled back in his head when eating a corndog, realizing he hadn't deep-throated anything of this particular shape since Tuesday."

You know what, imaginary right-wing screwhead, you're right. And so this may be exposure 17,000,

but 1/17,000 of a second earlier, she was hugging the children, and 1/17,000 of a second later, she had adopted a busload and taken them to her strawberry farm for reasons. (Oh, and lady, I ain'tn't certain, I don't know you, and I suspect I would endure greater joy taking a golf-ball to the yarbles than to decipher your HTea-ML, but your kids are snacking on McNuggets, playing Mario Brothers 17 - Jesus Slays the Turtles, and are scheduled for a measles party Saturday night. The refugee children have been vaccinated and WALKED ACROSS FUCKING MEXICO. To hell with your water-headed cabbages, dear.)

There are folks in Michigan, otherwise known as Alabama with snow, home of Ted Nugent, who it must be pointed out is about 18months off on his predictionalizing, who have proposed mining the border. You know what, you hookers, let's see how goddam serious you are about protecting your borders. Take out the Ambassador Bridge to Windsor, Ont. 

What, what's the difference, they's all furriners ain't they's? Thought so. Fornicate yourself.

Humanity sucks, kids. 

That's why I prefer reading about Bigfoot to the attempt to analyse most people. Plus I get less stabby, and Sweetie has informed me many times she prefers not to be a prisoner's wife.

Meh, I'm about a quarter drunk, the doggeh needs his walk yet, and I have to wake up in about several fewer hours. Just, where'd we go wrong as a species? Is the theory of devolution ahead of its time?

If The Nuns Could See Me Now

Yay, it's Easter Eve!

At midnight, teh babby Jesus travels the world in his magical cart, drawn by 8 tiny rabbits and a beagle if I remember my miffology*, with the hole under the seat so he can lay eggs and M&Ms for good children all around the world as long as they are not heathens, who should be droned, but at the very least will burn in lakes of sulfur for eternity because love...

It will also be the end of Lent, and I must say I'm thrilled, bursting with pride, that I have lived up to my resolution of not going to bed sober for 6 weeks. Alas, all good thingies must end, but this one will be tough...

Traffic to work yesterday was brilliant, open roads, odd because the TwinCities commuting scene, while not as stabbishly universally recognized as say, LA, can suck econo. Curious... Oh wait, everything shuts down for a Christian holiday. Wall Street closed. Can you imagine that collection of coke-fueled monsters closing for Diwali? People at my place of work have the right to take off Good Friday. I clearly need religion. Persecuted christians my dimpled genitalia.

Just as an illustration of how amazingly cool and attractive Christianity is, when they were trying to impose their bullshit, they would Borg the area festivals and retcon some bits to appease the local population. Hence, a baby born surrounded by sheep shit, more or less the common experience of shepherds, gets flowered up with pine trees and a fabulously generous, alcoholic, probable diabetic, old dude with a habit of dressing flash. For Easter, instead of

"Jesus Fucking Christ! ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Whoah, dude, how long you been buried?!? Febreze or something, man!"

becomes painting eggs, treasure hunts, and CHOCOLATE!!!

The world is going to hell in an Easter basket.

* And yes, the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, barring maybe Theodore Geisel, is Charles Schultz. If you disagree, you are tragically wrong.
_______________________________

Just a few brief bits of news, as my posting habitrail has been next to non-existent.

July 29, the day before my birfday, Barenaked Ladies in Sioux Falls SD. Little goddam far to drive, 4 and a half hours, but my favorite band ever and suchlike, and probably sack out in Nebraska with teh in-laws.

This is Jaxson now, about 55#, likely to become a touch heavier but not probably expand much more. Density, etc. An issue there is that he can already kick my ass, which is a thing because I occasionally has to remind him who is alpha dog.

I love my doofuspuppy!!!

2 more weekends of overnight Saturday preventive maintenance and I ain'tn't got diddly until September. Therefore, fish, feel threatened. Imma personally endanger yer asses.

Sweetie Drew The Short Straw

...and is getting ready for me to take her to jury duty.

I was given notice once, when I was living nort' of the Twin Cities, although there was no bench call, and after calling in every night for a week, I never had to go. (I was on a layoff, so it would not have been a problem, I stayed home for another week before taking a call back in North Dakota - coal plant in November? Give me the courtroom.)

Sweetie sits on the bench in downtown St. Paul - ugh. She has her magic backpack o' crafts, but still. She would like to be on a trial, something to mark down on life's bucket list. (My list includes some work - I've done a lot of things, but I always wanted to be a gravedigger, just for a day, just for the list. Of course, now they do it with a backhoe.) And I'd be okay with it, unless she went into a long sequester (I adore my frakkin wife and don't get to see her enough as it is), more power to her.

Myself, I wouldn't lie during the jury selection process, or try to get out of serving. Yet, somehow I don't think I'd make the trial.

DA: "Juror 80081E5, can you be a fair juror?
paleo: "I can and will, I'm reasonably intelligent, certainly opinionated but I like truth."
DA: "Do you have any issues with the American legal system?"
paleo: "Yes."
DA: "Such as?"
paleo: "Well, I hate you."
DA: "Pardon me?"
paleo: "You are the scum of the earth. I hate you and probably don't like your family."
facing Judge: "You too. Also, all cops are high school thugs who found a profession allowing them to remain bullies and dickweeds."
to defense attorney, currently grinning like a monkey: "Back it down there, cap'n, I hate you as well. I most likely hate your client."
DA: "AND YOU CAN BE AN IMPARTIAL JUROR?!"
paleo: "Of course! I don't have a dog in the race."

Competition For Peckerhead Of The Year Is Over

I don't remember my earlier nominees for this year and won't be arsed to look them up...

Because we have an all time winner! (via RWW)

In an already psychotic interview with lil' Ricky Scarborough, Little Peter LaBarbera, wherein in it was discussed, hoo boy, that it would be a fine tactic to file a lawsuit against Gay, Petey said this:

LaBarbera: Yeah I think that’s great. I would love to see it. We always wanted to see one of the kid in high school who was counseled by the official school counselor to just be gay, then he comes down with HIV. But we never really got the client for that. 

Emphases mine. Stupidity his.

Jumpin Jack Christ, you fucking sickball! "It would be so helpful if someone would die and we could use them! W00T!!!1!"

I always wanted to see the Values Voter Summit and the next Teabagger gather of any size finding themselves at the heart of a rather surprised spontaneous black hole. But I never really got the entertainment from that.

(Updated per suggestion, and all enormous credit (and apologies for theftery) to Mr. McGravitas)

Another Good Guy With A Gun Went Past The Expiration Date

Yes, I know it was a woman (with a child in the car? Jesus Christ!!?!), I just have a need to remind people that Wayne LaPierre was a waste of sperm. FALSE FLAG BENGHAZI ROSWELL!!!

That's not what I was really going after, though. It has been a horrendous few days politically. The 27% mouth-breathers have Killed Government In The Auditorium With A Bag Of Dumb, and I fully expect them to go after the credit rating as well, because if you are gonna suck a cock you may as well go for the balls.

I'm aware my language has gotten infinitely coarser of late, at least when talking politics. Don't worry too much, as a nation we are terminally fucked and my little notepad doesn't stand much chance against a collection of people who need directional signals on their Hoverrounds because the teabags covering their eyes prevent them from being human. Here's hoping for a hard flu season. Anyhow.

I try to avoid talking politics with most people, mostly because I am incapable of respecting or responding politely to republicans, and there are too many of them, ooooh, sorry, got that wrong, since 2001 as of 2009 they've mostly been Independents or Libertarians, shut up, twats, in Minnesota, but sometimes I overhear. Today's right wing memes:

The SUV driver chased down by motorcycles and beat up. Wow. Yeah, the cyclists were being shitheads. Doesn't mean you get to kill them. Oh, and "If I were that driver, I'd have had my gun and they'd have really gotten what for. And notice how the news media isn't reporting on this because they're black?" Well, you found out, brighteyes. Oh, and for the record, if the cyclists had been white and the SUV driver black, the SUV driver would have been dead as soon as a cop cleared his car door, followed by "I thought he was stealing it. And he had a gun, he must have tossed it."

The veterans at the World War II memorial, and the National Parks. This one worries me, this is gaining traction, oh-oh-oh the scary BLACK IMPOSTER found out the WWII vets were coming and closed the memorial to show them who is the head Kenyan Pimp! Fuck off, klanboy. What worries me about this meme is that if the 27% mouthbreathers can restore, piecemeal, the bits of the budget they like, and they is sho' nuff trying, screw the rest of the budget and Women, Infants, and Children can die horribly, they'll bring the Moet & Chandon.

Helluva lot of these goddamn worthless teabaggers and their goddamn worthless representatives are children of the World War II vets generation. Wonder if those guys, quietly serving, coming home and building a middle class, in a large part through government money, realized their children would be rabid braindead fucks?

Saturday Night Non-ESPN-Wankers Football Post

Wisconsin - AssholeZona State:
Gary Andersen's first real test - the Sun Devils do not suck, and this is a tough game (they can't help where they are from, although in fact if any of the players had any integrity they'd go to state with an automatic death penalty for Joe Arpaio).  (I do have to say that it is nice to see a non-conference game against an actual competitive football team, as opposed to playing UNLV, Westchester Amalgamated (MA), and New Richmond Taxidermy and Hair Care).

• Point to ponder - why does WI always get Bob Useless Griese, the Dumbest Man In Football, with a 32 IQ accent, and an enormous hate-on for WI for years? Someone drop a bridge on him.

Minnesota - Western Illinois:

Jerry Kill has HIS 4TH SEIZURE DURING A GAME. 4TH SEIZURE. WHILE COACHING. A GAME. Why has the MN insurance company not asked, um, anything? 4 goddamn seizures. This is not anything against epilepsy, I assure you. But Jerry Kill may be a saint, a guru, a pure thought form - he still don't belong on a football field.

• Point to ponder - how many electrodes, placed where, and how much electricity does it take to animate the overrated corpse of Lou Holtz?

Nebraska -UCLA:

To my mother-in-law, to my brother-in-law, and to the stupidest human being alive, Ndamakong Suh, allow me to say

Notre Dame - Purdue:

Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Nuff said. Bunch of rapists who don't deserve a minute of TV time. Yes, I know, all college football players are criminal rapist scum who do NOT BELONG in college, with people trying to get an education. But Notre Dame is treated by the media as something special. FUCK THEM.

Tomorrow.

Packers vs. Washington Klan:

If the Washington players had any integrity they would demand a name change or a trade. They won't. They are football players and thus not too bright. Well, basically stupid. That being said, facing another good running game and a mobile quarterback, another annoying game. Please, dear FSM - I know we are not allowed for some reason to run block, but for Rodgers' sake could we at least pass block?

Don't know why I even pay attention any more. Fuck all these people, useless drags on society. Its become more of a habit - none of these shitheads, owners, players, National Fuck-all League, give a fuck about the fans, not one weenciest fuck, not even the throwaway promise of a reacharound.

Sunday Aggression

I have a crank-ums.

A lot going on, a lot I just have to wait for. Needed doctors appointments that I kinda want the results from (no, not dying, but there are issues I want to end now and I just have to take things as they come up, but never as soon as I'd like). Job things (I need it to be Aug 26th now, but having not yet mastered bending time to my purposes, I say a hearty FUCK!). Stuff I want/need to get done at home (I need it to be 2014 yesterday, and to have in the interim invented human cloning, a branch of psychology dedicated to the issues of human clones, an ethical way of getting aforesaid clones the hell out of my house once the painting is done - p'raps via world domination, the paleo-Dynasty). I'd like to see my wife a touch more frequently (say, daily, but there remains a short time before things settle down, ummm, now + 14 days or so.)

I have no cosmic-scale reasons to be pissed off, but being human, I get crank-ums, and being an electrician, wherein, theoretically, doing the same thing the same way twice gives me the same result (I know, I know, just go with me here), I do not dance elf-like when the universe does not do exactly what I want it to do.

The wee music box becomes a bit agitated on such days. Obviously, there are very few songs with a bridge lyric of "thank god it is September and I don't have to slowly squeeze the life out of someone anymore", but the selection tends towards, well, crank-ums.

I don't know if Vevo gives the same commercial to everybody with the same tune, but the one I got with this song was for a Samsung tablet, which had me totally juiced...to nuke the commercial from orbit as everyone in it annoyed me.


I like Aaron Barrett. Mostest cheerfullest bastard I know.


I was just going to post 'Uncle Walter', but screw it, the whole album is about right today.


Perfection...


Grump.

A Post About Bullies/Bullying, Serious, Probably TMI, So What.

Two notes before proceeding:

A, this is a touch personal, not my usual rant when I am merely homicidally annoyed with the universe, but something I feel like saying. Feel free to blow it off here if you are looking for boats, cats, and bigfoots.
And 2, this is a TED talk about bullying. Before you watch this video, warning - at least in my case, it dredges up some bodies I thought long buried, drove me to pissed off, where I caught the bus to infuriation.

A poet/performance artist named Shane Koyczan:


An old friend from high school sent this to me, said it would resonate. It did. I should re-watch, I don't know what to think about it, but right now, I am in a decent mood and don't really want to watch again. Nothing against the artist, or the presentation, it was very well done, but the topic, something I've known.

I was bullied in HS, in retrospect maybe not as bad as some, but especially for a couple years I was ulcerifically miserable. I had a peer group, but was not really a peer, one or two friends from then I keep track of at all. Sort of a big round nerd, band geek, not really into sports, too damn smart for my own good and not afraid to show it, very shy, metalhead.
A Catholic high school - naturally, I had already started to think about such things*, and my senior year I flunked the first semester of Religion, primarily for arguing with the lunaticinstructor - boy, was I gonna fit in. One of my parents has since apologized, saying I should have gone to the public HS, with the science classes, CAD labs, and some blessed anonymity.
A school that purchased a basketball player, then when he got on a three wheeler, got maytagged, and got paralyzed, he got a handicapped accessible van. A school where one of the A-listers in my class, a couple years after graduation, got drunk, got on a jet-ski, got in the way of an oncoming boat, got Buster-ed, and got a memorial fund. A school where one of those bullied, far worse than I, never recovered, ended it a couple years later, no one mentioned a damn thing, I only found out about it years later through family. 
A jockocracy, bullyocracy, and we all know how well those seem to work out. The only thing I want to hear about my HS class is that at a reunion, someone went all Carrie White, leaving a debris pile I could urinate on.

My solution is simple. Make bullying a capital crime - 3rd strike and you, and your parents, get a fair trial and a first class hanging. End all high school and college athletics as we know them - if the pro leagues want farm teams so badly, let them do like baseball and set up minor leagues. Save athletics for students, who attend classes, real classes, who get actual good grades. No more $6 million dollar a year coaches. Make booster clubs illegal, punishable by 5-10 years, no paroles. School is important, the most important activity your kids will ever have - let's make interfering with schooling come with the punishment it deserves.

As for me, I was a bit screwy for a long time. I'd happily verbally/mentally beat the tar out of myself for any real or imagined transgression, and unfortunately will still do that - ugh. Beer and theoretical pharmaceutical studies helped, making true friends helped more - I remain very bad at making friends, but for those I have, I'll help hide a body. Took years, travels, and travails, for me to realize that I like being a geek, I like being one of the smartest kids in the room (even if too much brain matter is dedicated to things what go bump in the night as opposed to stuff making me wealthy and powerful, with a hot-and-cold running scotch dispenser).

Last night I sat with my wife, my quirky, wonderful, occasionally messed up, geeky-as-I-am, incredibly beautiful wife, watching Firefly and answering her questions about characters. I have a mansion, a yacht, and a drum machine. Well, working on the drum machine. I bleedin' win. But I am in no mood to forgive.

In conclusion, fuck 'em in their big fat goat asses.

*and had come to the conclusion that, although the red words were pretty cool (a statement I'll stand by), actually, the Old Testament and the New Testament were bullshit, their god a terrorist, their rulers and superheroes terrorists, and St. Paul a complete human whack-a-mole game. Much like almost every other religion ever. At least the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Discordianism allow free will. And in the case of the FSM, a beer volcano and stripper factory.

Ahhh, The Theatre - Review Time!

I provided our upcoming stage schedule for y'all, and now I have reviews!

The Musical of the Play of the Musical of the Movie of the Play of the Cookbook Hairspray

• I sense that this could be a hell of a TV series.

Twelve Angry Men: An Odyssey In Mime

• The depiction of the jurors in the box - heart rending

The Human Centipede with Kristin Chenoweth

• Most of the characters were assholes.

Tell Me Again How Much Better And More Moral The USA Is Than Those Furriners - Seriously, Tell Me!

Make your argument. Graphs, pics, stats, tell me goddammit. 'Cuz I don't see it.

Fourth football player charged in rape of Connecticut teens

Shorter: Four high school football players had sex with two 13 year old girls. And if they claim it was consensual,  that just means they fail at reading. Rape, pedophilia, and the two girls are being threatened. Where in the hell have I heard this song before? Oh yeah, Steubenville. Notre Dame. I'm probably missing one or ten-thousand.

Betcha the judge, and Candy Crowley, say something about these unfortunate ...stars... and their unfortunate use of social media, as opposed to, for example, saying RAPISTS ARE SCUM and need 40-50 years in the box to reflect on the wrongnessitude of their decision-making process.

And also, I'll say it. IT IS TIME FOR SCHOOL SPORTS TO GET AUDITED TO THE MOLECULAR LEVEL. I am sick of tax money and the money of parents who have children with academic skills being used to subsidize jock culture. And the use/abuse of women and 13 year old girls is very much a part of that culture, as it is in too many other arenas. Fuck this noise. I am sick to death of it.

If high school sports are such moneymakers, start a private club system for these 'stars', have intramurals for the kids who just want some fun competition, and enforce the hell out of minimum grades.

At the college level, if these programs, which lets face it, are nothing more than farm teams for the pro leagues, make so much damn money, let the goddam pros start a farm league - works for baseball. Again, have intramurals for students who want some fun competition, but get the jockocracy out of our universities. NOW.

Fox News tells striking workers to get two jobs and ‘expect to get paid the minimum wage’

The word I'm looking for? Sociopathy? Close. Ummmm.

Oh yeah. Heartless motherfucking co-bags.

These are the thugs, peckerneck. I know you are hiding behind Gretchen's skirt, but if you dare peek, this is called 'people wanting just a little piece of the American dream'. Maybe this is a little less scaryish for you.

Report: Ohio Is Illegally Throwing Poor People In Jail For Owing Money

The serfs are being treated as befits Lord Douchey. Nothing to see here.

One more, just for grins?

Arizona Lawmakers Are Invited To Wear Bullet-Proof Vests On The Job

So yeah, tell me again how fucking great we are. Yeah, I know a whole damn bunch of us are perfectly fine, more or less, but what fucking infects us to get these fucking screwballs?

Bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.

(H/Ts to Raw Story, Think Progress, TPM, HuffPo)

I've Been Through The Desert With A Blogpost With No Central Point

I haz a grumpishness. For a while now, couple weeks. Eh, forgive me, I feel like cleaning out some psychic garnage.

Yes, garnage. Portmanteau of garbage and carnage. Or, paleo kant tipe or spel.

Lot of factors. Work, I'm trying to get ahead, the old fashioned way, p'raps, performance, asking for responsibility, as opposed to shining up a pair of kneepads to the point that I could blind the Upper Midwest. The windmill, it is being tilted at.

The competing schedules between Sweetie and me. The actual date of Valentine's Day involves supper (friggin incredible, BTW, sun-dried tomato, onion and garlic in Alfredo with chicken and green beans) at 9:00pm before bed as she works in the morning. I say this often, but mean it every time - I adore my wife, and my favorite activity is spending time doing anything or nothing at all with Sweetie.

The basement remodel. I have long ago come to the conclusion that man was not meant to live underground. Hobbits, sure. CHUDs? Hell, it's right in the name. Germans, not so much.

Politics too. I am aware I focus too much on the political scene, but it gets old, being driven to distraction every morning as I drive to work. The level of stupidity, bloodlust, misogyny, hell, misanthropy, is incredible, nearly unbearable, and I believe that no-one can truly take the Pubs seriously - it has got to be performance art, or a two-bit grift - they can't be for real, can they?

Good things too, though, gotta focus. I got to spend a couple days with some of my best friends, Sweetie finally was able to meet them and be sociable sans time constraints. Ate, drank, and was merry (awesome recipe after the jump). Camping plans were tentatively made - to be more accurate,

"Well, the boys can work on the fence and we'll sit by the campfire and drink wine..."

We have a full weekend (almost, probably), to goof off, to try to get near to finishing the bloody stupid basement, at which point it is likely my searing atmospheric pressure headaches from going that far below the earth may ebb. We are doing Valentines surf-n-turf on teh grill tomorrow night - W00t!!1! Admittedly, to me, lobster is a butter delivery system, but I'm from Wisconsin - sue me!

I had a pleasant music break this afternoon - Pharcyde, Jurassic 5, Ugly Duckling, changed station and got My Chemical Romance. I've told before of the occasionally tenuous grip Pandora holds me in, but since I went into every playlist and banished Drops Of Jupiter to teh hell whence it came, we are on better terms. I need music, constantly if possible, and I abhor repetition. I don't collect much anymore, (have to have my Barenaked Ladies, Beatles, and Iron Maiden - those are my defaults when I dither), but webstations... 

My visiting college friend suggested Rodriguez

I've been GrooTubing it, great stuff.

And, as far as tilting at windmills, I am making slow, steady progress at the job. Emphasize slow, but I'll get there.

Just have to strap 'em up and keep going!