Not Sure If I Should Feel Guilty About The Laughter

Guten Tag.

So, I occasionally work with someone who told us that the primary VA facility in the Twin Cities was hiring building engineers. Another person present for the conversation perked up, and was so asked if they'd be willing to work at the VA, and replied very positively, "Yeah, I heard the new guy has a lot of great ideas and is gonna shape things up, absolutely!"

This guy.

I won't predict if he'll be confirmed - the Congressional Republicans to a person are either corrupt, traitors, or corrupt traitors. Full fucking stop. (In my state's house, it's mostly corruption and theocratic fascism, although they certainly took advantage of treasonous activities by federal level Republicans.) They may confirm him just because they don't care and they know it will infuriate those of us who think that the VA, not to mention the rest of the federal government, should maybe take it upon themselves to help and improve the country as a whole.

What I know for certain about Admiral Jackson:

He's never run anything approaching a civil bureaucracy

Whether under presidential order or not, he lied his ass off at his presentation on the Anus' health. Not to mention peppering it with nonsense like 'excellent genetics'.

He has no business in that position. Supposing he has 'great ideas', good luck getting funding from the avaricious bloodthirsty monsters in the federal Republican caucuses.Supposing he wants to 'shape things up':

This guy.

To recap, I occasionally work with someone who told us that the primary VA facility in the Twin Cities was hiring. Another person present, when asked if they'd be willing to work at the VA, said, "Yeah, I heard the new guy has a lot of great ideas and is gonna shape things up, absolutely!"

Okay, it's maybe very dark and inappropriate laughter, as the Tangerine Dickweed is trying once again to fuck someone, but
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh, and this EVERY UPCOMING ELECTION FOR ANYTHING is EVERYTHING.

VOTE, GODDAMMIT.  

 

 

My Urinalysis Of The Orange STD's Latest Kerfuffle

Okay, so President-Elect Kompromat just got involved in Golden Shower-gate. Everyone is having either a great deal of fun or a great deal of 'Ewwww' over Drumpf's gold medal in Watersports.

I have a different tack, certainly probably not original to me, but I think I'm right.

Most are focusing on the sexual preversion angle. I don't see it that way. As I read it,

The FSB, it said, “employed a number of prostitutes to perform a golden showers (urination) show in front of him.” Not only that, according to the report’s anonymous Russian sources, Trump deliberately chose for his escapade “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”

There is a sexual subculture into urination, the terms 'watersports' and 'Golden Showers' have been around much longer than CNN or Buzzfeed. Okay, fine, whatever floats your little man in the boat, not my gig but doesn't confront me. And The Tangelo Terror is certainly a bad damn guy, alleged rapist, admitted to sexual assault. Without a doubt, he got some tittilation out of degrading eastern European women. I suddenly feel a bit bad for Malaria, her life must be absolute hell.

But that last clause:
Trump deliberately chose for his escapade “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”

Sexual gratification was not at all his goal. This was an act of revenge, of violence, of hatred, of disrespect. It's

"I'll piss on your grave"

writ large.

This is far worse than "ohhhh, hee hee hee, Imma dirty boy, hugely bigly!" 

This is the act of a sociopath, an undisciplined spoiled child. 

As a secondary point, he is SO easily manipulated, manipulable. And his legion of doof eats all this up. We are about to be 'led' by Damien.

Yay us. 

The Orange Twerp Applies Miniature Hands To Twitter and Hoodwinks His Sycophants

The House of Representatives, at the behest on Rep. Bob Goodlatte, fresh off of inbreeding, attempted to gut an independent ethics panel. After we, The People, got involved, they held off until it could be a less visible pile of bullshit.

The Orange STD, in his chosen method of 140-character communication, called it only "not a priority". In other words, let it be a less visible pile of bullshit. (Warning - CNN, the CNN of network news, has a goddammit autoplay.)

There are those who call it Teh Shitgibbon being vaguely presidential.

DO NOT GIVE THIS SALTED PILE OF FLAMING ASSHOLES AN EVEN BREAK.

He twattered well after the deal was going down in flames. Up to that time, his people:

• Defended it vociferously because a congressional watchdog was watching the dog
• Claimed that yanking the teeth of the Ethics panel was an exercise in efficient dentistry
• (By the way, MarshaMarshaMarsha always been an goddammit demon.)
• At the same time that the Tangelo Twatwaffle injected himself very carefully into the debate because he has excellent handlers, he was McCarthying Homeland Security

Screw him with his tiny, tiny gloves on. Not my president. #MinorityPresident. Lost by 2.9 million votes. Suck a tailpipe, twerp.

The Cheerleading Post

We are very close to being terminally screwed.

Yes, paleo is squeaking about the 2016 election cycle.

Briefly, let’s review. I was on Team Sanders. (Yes, you may kill me for using that phraseological construction. Please wait until I vote.) I had no particular issue with Sec’y Clinton, other than she has always seemed to be somewhat to the right of me. I didn’t expect Sen. Sanders to win, he is not nearly the politician she is (to get elected, being a competent politician is helpful, and I will not use the word ‘politician’ as a pejorative – Keith Ellison is a polished politician, as is Russ Feingold, as is President Obama. Being a bad person does not comment upon your political skills; it just says you’re a douchebag, or a ‘Ryan’), and he got stomped (yes, stomped – by 3 million primary votes, and by being nearly shut out in states that had primaries, as opposed to caucuses). However, I believed he would be invaluable in pulling the Democratic Party back to the left. In general, save the gun thing, I preferred his politics.

Sec’y Clinton won the nom, and I’m fine with that. DO NOT GET OVERCONFIDENT, but I expect her to win. I’m fine with that. Actually, learning more about her during this run (there is a Frontline biography on her, part of a special on both candidates' biographies) that shows her to be quite a remarkable person. And hearing her on the stump, and watching her on the debates, I’m content.

Trump was, remains, and will continue to be a human shitnado, assault/pedophilia/creepitude allegations or not, he’s a monster. Everyone knew this even before the recent revelations, including Malaria, but don’t cry for her, she’s getting her silver. He could be a saint around women, but every other aspect of his life STILL shows him to be a jackal. This ‘alpha-male’ shit is the fucking awful capstone, but he was never human in the first place.

Gary Johnson may be the single least informed, deliberately least curious public figure of today. Dumb as a brick. And fucking evil. Jill Stein has a coterie of assistants with metering equipment to make sure there are no aerosolized vaccines in her air supply. Evan McMullin? No. Srsly. Who in hell is Evan McMullin?

"Bloody hell, paleo, you seem almost vaguely upbeat! Why, then, would consider us to be near existential fuckitude?"

Glad you asked.

There is the obvious. The worthless hillbillies who would throw themselves in front of a train for Trump, if only so SmallHands could grab their daughters’ genitalia, ain’tn’t going gently into that good night. These people are freaks, violent, and frequently armed. They will not accept a Trump loss (“oh oh oh it was fixed by n****r Jewish sp**s who want to teach f****t evolathiesm to our white children”), they will respond in the only way they know – lashing out and trying to kill anything that scares them. With education, there is hope for their grandchildren, but a 60 year-old skinhead-in-all-but-name cannot be reasoned with.

What must be added, and is in fact the more important issue, is on the meta-level. With Sec’y Clinton having a respectable lead and a likely win by the scientific poll aggregators, I have been hearing the folks in my camp say things to the effect of ‘Okay, soon it will finally be over’.

No, it won’t soon be over.

Democracy does not end at the voting booth. And we all have to hold everyone's feet to the fire. Always. Building a civil society is a crappile of work. We must all stay involved, constantly, starting right at the local level.

Let your school board know that religion and education don't mix. Let your city council know about that needed stoplight and upgraded sewer system. Let your state rep know that MN needs statewide broadband and public transportation. Let your federal reps know that everyone on Wall Street is scum and needs to go to jail until they can be swept up and put in a dustbin. Were Sen. Sanders to have become the President, I'd be screaming at him daily about guns.

Keep pushing every day.

When you vote, go home, and say, ‘okay, done my duty’, you fail democracy. If everyone votes, goes home, and says, okay, done my duty’, democracy fails.

There are a helluva lot more people on Team Terminally Screwed (again, words do not lend themselves to goddammit Twilight-fan memes. Kill me on November 9).

Vote, you bastards. (Vote Democratic at all levels should be understood, but nevertheless, vote.) And then start calling and writing. We have emails – no more stamps, folks. Phone plans with unlimited minutes. Supporters of Sen. Sanders – he made an amazing showing. If you want the D’s to move left, take that energy and get involved. Stay involved. Run for dog-catcher, then city council, then mayor, then Congress, and keep going so I can crabass at you electronically in 10 years. I’m old and tired, and can only give some campaign money and write this nonsense to my audience of 3.1415927 individual readers, so work hard for Uncle paleo in his dotage. Please.

First, though, start with voting.

Politics Is The Art Of Turning Lunacy Into Policy

Seeing a lot of Democratic Party cannibalism these days. What the hell I don't even...

So, I supported Sanders through most of the primary, he in fact won the MN primary. I did this knowing that he was not and never would really be a member of the Democratic Party (Sec'y Clinton has done the rubber chicken circuit for Dems for years) and knowing he was a gunhumper (Sec'y Clinton is very much not). I preferred the rest of his platform to hers, knowing that it was mostly aspirational, and would at least pull the Party back from the center, which, given the Overton window, is pretty horrible. No we were never getting free college and single-payer after one election. Never. Nope. It will take several cycles and some damn actual Democrats in Congress. Politics simply doesn't work that way, and frankly representative democracy has worked pretty damn well over time, all things considered.

The other option? The REVOLUTION? Bullshit.

You know what happens in a revolution? A shitpile of people get hurt badly, and they are, French Revolution notwithstanding, usually the powerless. Would I like to see a guillotine permanently installed on Wall Street? Hells yeah. But that will happen when I grow a tail.

I didn't turn on Senator Sanders until the end of primary bullshit, when, after he'd won the platform battle, he still pouted. And a significant number, maybe 15-20%, of his supporters (Jill 'Science is just an illuuuusion.' Stein



and Gary Johnson? Have you actually read his CV and the Libertoonian Party Platform?) are still pouting. Politics is WORK, y'all. Dreaming is good, but without translating dreams into a metric fuckton of ridiculously hard work over a pretty fair period of time, it remains dreams. The rewards go to those who show up.

The monsters on the right wing? Both the Deplorables and the Executives? They've been showing up without fail for 45 years. And anyone who guarantees Senator Sanders would be ahead at this point is delusional. It would be close, he might have even been slightly ahead for some time because Trump is a sociopath, just really that bad, Stop-And-Frisk you racist motherfucker? You know, where we are right now. But we'd hear commercial after commercial of SSOOOOSHULISSTTICISM (as opposed to commercial after commercial of SHE HAS PARKINSONAIDSEBOLAHYSTERICALPREGNANCY) and Americans are easily led and lied to. I don't know how Sec'y Clinton would perform as President; I like the party platform, I don't listen to the right wing smear machine (dumbass bastards have brought up Vince Foster again??!), certainly she wouldn't be as conciliatory as President Obama, and about damn time someone takes a stick to the Republican curs, but she (or a President Sanders) would still have to work with a Republican House (Senate seems to be a near-tossup, dammit Nate Silver) and politics as a nasty game where no-one gets their wishlist. 

Unless.

President Trump with a Republican House and Senate, at which point Ryan and McTurtle will cream in their jeans, possibly together, big ol' goddamn 'IT"S PAYDAY!!!' circle-jerk, and throw every right wing fascist fantasy up knowing that Trump will sign anything for them. That's why most modern establishment Pubs haven't actually come out against Trump, they may not like him but he'll do no actual work as President except sign anything put in front of him.

My two cents, meh.

Seventy-Five Thousand Hits! And Some Actual Stuff...

Several dozen of which are not from pornbots! Yay ME!

Okay, so I'm a happy democrat. I believe we are better than the cons, and I want us to be better. I was a Senator Sanders supporter, we lost the primary, but won the platform. So I'm With Her. I reject the social view of the cons, that people are evil and require a Bearded Sky-Daddy or a three-year-under-the-car-seat Cheetoh to keep us, well, a certain some of us, in line, and believe that working together, truly together, we can be better still. (Naive, huh. YMMV, I sleep well, fuck you.) I believe in redemption, not in the religious sense (while my own beliefs are plentiful, if perhaps a tetch out of the mainstream, I do not believe in Religion™), but in the sense that you can rejoin the Human Race.

Why the prelude? I have a couple notes on redemption.

Yesterday I listened to an interview yesterday with a gentleman named Michael Brodkorb, who used to be a highly mucked mucky-muck in the Minnesota Republican structure.  He was a bad man. No worse than most Republicans, so verrrrry bad. The MN Pub Party at the time of his deputy chairmanship was responsible for a lot of evil. Then he was brought down brutally. (The above link addresses the general outline). Hey, won't lie, I was happy. Ecstatic, even. Then he nearly waxed hisself in a car accident. Hey, I won't lie, I'M NOT A REPUBLICAN. I DO NOT CELEBRATE DEATH. Well, he started, while stating that he remained a Republican, and not really apologizing for his past as an arsonist, a bit of a public, penance?, um, re-branding perhaps? (to be cynical, which I'm trying to stop doing), less obviously partisan, more analytical of communications strategies. And he found a case, a case of parental interference with custody, which was no more and no less than kidnapping and giving children to slavers, the Sandra Grazzini-Rucki case. His work (best source is Missing In Minnesota, his blog aggregating his reporting on this case) helped blow it open, and she was just convicted.

He hasn't spoken of his political affiliation recently that I could find, and if he remains Republican, I am certainly more likely to disagree with him than agree, but he seems to have achieved some legitimate level of purpose, seems to be sane, and to be clear, is 11,468% on the good side here.

This is a path to real redemption.

Now.

There have been a couple stories in the last couple of DNC convention days about national Republicans at least applauding, never agreeing with but being satisfied with, the Democratic National Convention. Other stories this morning have cons slapping down the Coultergeist for her tweet about the family of Capt. Humayan Khan, a soldier who saved his unit at the cost of his life, speaking at the DNC. She sweetly pointed out that OH MY GOD AN ACCENT.

Erick SonofErick'sonsonrick, author if the philosophical treatise 'David Souter is a goat-fucking child molester' was outraged, OUTRAGED, by teh Human Chew Toy insulting Muslims. Amanda Carpenter, accused by Donald Trump of boinking overripe canteloupe Ayatollah Cruz, says 'gee, the DNC has found religion'.

Bullshit.

ALL THESE PEOPLE LOVE EVERYTHING TRUMP SAYS. They wish they had the balls or vag to say it out loud theyselves (well, I guess Erickson usually does, but eyewash). You too, Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver Paul Ryan. Carpenter worked for Sen. James Inhofe, climate change denier extraordinaire. John Podhoretz, (son of Norman Podhoretz, an early neo-con who never met a Palestinian genocide that he disliked or an african-american he liked), an EARLY SCOTT WALKER fan who also called Marco Useless Rubio "Perhaps the best extemporaneous political speaker of our time", thereby showing off his political instanks.

At best, these filthy monsters have a basic, gutter understanding of the political winds and want to preserve their 'reputations'. On the continuum, several of those quoted had other horses in the race than Trump and are hoping for their instanks to be hailed as the best extemporaneous political instanks of our time. At the other end of the spectrum, at the worst, they are trying to drive wedges into the Democratic support, "Oh, look, Killary is a Republican, all you filthy hippies are having your rights tarnished, Bernie could have beat Trump with ??? and progress". Ratfucking 101. (And it will work on Susan Sarandon.)

This is NOT redemption, or suddenly being fair, or being tempered with age. I'd never expect them to go full liberal, but one can become sane. These people do not disagree ONE WORD with the Flatulent Baboon, or Coultergeist.

They may understand optics well enough to realize his convention was a shitstorm of extraordinary magnitude, but they don't disagree with a Single. Fucking. Word.

Saving 'Murica With The MegaChurch Based Economy

Once upon a time, I was a travelling union electrician.

I tended to go west to work. My preference, as I was driving like a bat loosed from Satan's grip to Siblingbunghole, Idaho, with a case of Mountain Dew, a roll of Kodiak, and a dwindling hope of picking up the call at the union hall for power plant maintenance but an expectation of putting in childproof AFCI-rated receptacles at the local Golden Corral, was to drive through mountains.

Although I do not recall the instance, at some point I must have signed the books in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Colorado Springs has been, and may still be,

home to the greatest concentration of fundamentalist Christian activist groups in American history (Jeff Sharlet, Harpers, Revealer)

including New Life, former home of Ted Haggard (I will not embed that video. I will not muddy up my own house. It's from Jesus Camp if you want an idea before clicking.) before he discovered the Joy of Meth (now on Audible.com); and home to the United States Air Force Academy, which has had, for years, a very prejudicial attitude towards any non-Jesus-Beater daring to serve their country upside down at Mach 2.25. Colorado Springs has also had, due to the presence of the aforementioned Atavisticus Jesusi Beaterodocus, a turbo-fucked local economy.

Because I signed the books there, I get email pertinent to Colorado Springs. For example, I get the 'newsletter' and 'brother can you spare a coupla thousand dimes" from this Tea Party pile of pig placenta

Because of his first name and general demeanor, he reminds me of President Bartlett's son-in-law (West Wing). Just a completely pliable dunce, eager to do the bidding of his keepers, will swallow if necessary.


Actually, pig placentas serve a purpose - they are involved in the production of ham. I may have to rethink that analogy.

Now, I also get job offers from 'the Springs', as the hip youth say. What is available in the job creation dynamic Galtian Gulch in fundie country?

Hmm. My smack is gobbed. There seems to be a trend, perhaps, nay, a pattern. Ummm.

Er.

WHY IN TEH HELL DID I EVER BECOME A HIGHLY EDUCATED TECHNICAL SPECIALIST WITH A WORK ETHIC AND A SAVAGE DISREGARD FOR ORGANIZED RELIGION?!?! CONFORM, BABY, CONFORM!!

SHEESH.

*****************************************************************
Oh, and speaking of Jesus Camp, I found out what happened to this poor brainwashed peanuthead.

He took up sportsball.

Sorry mini-dude.

Dear Klan Christians - Imma 'Specially Talking To Tom Cotton, Senator (R. - The Shallow End Of The Gene Pool)

So, the new strawman is "why do gays care so much about a pizza joint in Indiana when ahem 

brown people

are allowed to walk without chains on them execute the Fabulous Folk.

Dear Apocalyptic Snotfondlers,

To all those asking why we care about gay rights in America but don't do enough or care about teh LGBT in Muslim countries;

Why do you want to drag us down instead of showing them a way up? You hate the shining city on the hill? You're making the Baby Reagan cry - are all'y'all traitors? (Yes. The answer is yes. Jus' sayin'.)

And 2.) we do care, and we don't/are unable to do enough, to help the gay communities in foreign countries, you are correct on that point, but why should they/would they even listen, much less cooperate, when psychotic xenophobic 'Murkin xtian bloodthirsty monsters keep encouraging bombing of those countries?*

Please to be kindly jamming a pound of powder down your collective piehole and a match up your collective ass the next time you wish to shoot your mouth off.

Hugs, kisses, and 480V of sphincter-stretching fury,

paleo


UPDATE: Those pizza inbreds, whose self-righteous fury at teh Gheys gave them the strength to close shop only after 24 hours of stiff resistance to making The New Peach-Fishers Supreme® have pulled in over $500 large from GoFundMe and probably a whole lot of devout people who can't afford it (no snark, I wish religion did not exist, but it does, and there are people, who though I believe they are misguided a bit of a whole much, take comfort in it, but then fall prey to the scum, priests, pastors, who use their fears and uncertainty to a devastating effect and a lifestyle of high class hookers, ground coarse horseradish {What, y'all bunch of Meanderthals? I love it and need it, hell, I'd get an IV if it could flow through the veins appropriately, and it can be hard to find where some dumbass heathen hasn't added sugar or mayo and should therefore be hit with a wrecking ball sharpened to 13,500 pounds} and hot-n-cold running scotch).
This fucking thing was a grift, enabled by Fox and Glennda Beck's Channel 'O Reverse Peristalsis, and the bastards (along with priests, pastors, everyone at Fox, and Becky) need to go to prison and now.

UPDATE ZWEI: Matthew Hagee, miraculous progeny of the man whose genitalia have retreated, visibly, to his chin, John Hagee, was present at the birth of a new strawman, that gay marriage will destroy sillyvisation now, as two men cannot procreate without some mind bogglingly expensive surgery, and two women cannot procreate without casting away their humanity and self-esteem and submitting to Matthew Hagee. Let's unpack this just a bit.

So, if gay marriage is legal, everyone will turn gay. No more bebbies.

Phew. How to answer...

No.

A.) I love everyone who I don't hate, and yet, being straight, I don't especially want to pitch or catch to a man. And so what. As I've pointed out, Imma tragically in love with my wife, and so generally don't want to pitch or catch to anyone who ain'tn't my wife.

Part the second:
We are not going to have kids. Not. Plenty of reasons, but one of the biggest is BY CHOICE WE WON'T HAVE KIDS. St. Hagee, does that invalidate my marriage? Seriously. Is my marriage lesser to yours (and if your wife is not glowingly pregnant right now, you are a worthless failure as a spokesman for xtian marriage)? And if your answer to that question is yes, what is your stomach lining made of that it can contain that much bile and I hope your stay in the resthome isn't too long after Sweetie gets done reasoning, enthusiastically, and incorporating sweeping arm gestures, with you.

Dickweed. 

Clearly, God Drinks. A Bit.

Look. Just look. Or don't. It will be better for your brain if you don't.

This has made the rounds. Some observations per paleo:

1. Look at the smile. Either some lunatic Fox-addled 89 year old teabagger just donated his Socialism Security check to the Ceremonial Palin Pool Endowment, otherwise known as SARAHPAC, or she is having teh buttsechs right there. Of the two, Imma prefer it be the sign of a successful grift, as there are people who find pleasure, passion, hell, even utility, in buttsechs. Let me put it this way: of Sarah or buttsechs, I would not vote for Sarah for Vice President.
2. 'Fuc_ You' - Two options here, ignoring the name 'Michael Moore', which they could copy out of any web post by Hate-Gnome Michelle Malkin or Falafel Bill O'Ragey, so that's easy, or have daughter Drano transcribe. But, the word 'fuck'. Four letters. That's a lot of letters, hell, nearly five, especially if they have to make it to 'U'. I could see the "But Sarah Wanked At Me" club having that difficulty. The second option is that they believe they have invented their own Enigma Machine, and the libs won't catch the hidden meaning. Ummm. So, isn't Princess Sudafed Of The Wasilla Crystal Fest a big Jesus-beater? I thought that fucking moral goddam motherfuckers didn't use the fucktastic word 'fuck' at all?
3. The finely drawn, I must know the make of the protractor they must have used, gunsights in the name 'Michael Moore'. So, errr, when The Woman With The Blue Meth Colored Eyes put gunsights on the locations of Democratic congresspeople, getting Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D. AZ) shot and six people, including a little kid, killed, you bloodthirsty grift-bitch, she claimed they were surveyor marks showing the districts of the congresspeople. Which district is Michael Moore representing?
4. Imma also guess she's hammered. She's in Iowa right now with Michele Bachmann downing Diesel and worrying that Marcus is conversion therapying Todd. Yes, I wrote that. Share it with your spouses.

Please run for President, Empress Cariboufucker. Please. I have to see this. Seriously.

Okay, Now The Universe Is Just Mocking Me

Two stories in the news recently:

Southern Twatwaffles Demonstrate Their Patriotism And Racism (from Salon)
Yes, those oh so proud Merkins south of the Masie-Dixie Line (and presumably Indiana, Pennsyltucky, Cincinnati) have (admittedly, apparently not celebrated much at the official level in most of those places, but still on the books) holidays celebrating the birthday of Bobby (Brutal Slaveholder) Lee. Also, (admittedly), most pre-dated MLK day. So fucking what. You have a holiday celebrating a military commander who gave up his oath to take up arms against his country and his fellow US. Army personnel. Are you merely trying to reach Gary Busey levels of self-awareness, or is there a longer term plan/larger goal? (The answer is no.)

Holly Hobby Lobby Cheats On Husband In Military Service, Finds Jesus, No Humor Erupts (h/t Addicting Info)
Holly Fisher (I have no problems using her name - she put herself in the public eye the first time she found Jesus) was a highly visible campaigner for the Hobby Lobby corporation shitting on half of the human race. She then cheated on her active duty military husband. She then got caught. She then found Jesus again. She then gained fans, and her existing fans became more rabid.

Comment the first, on the Confederate Pig-Fellators (my own comment at Sadly! No.). The comment itself is in answer to: why do Democrats not vote as much as we should, and could it be because we sense we are already doomed. It's also on topic for this post.

How do you fight that, though? 

A traitorous bastard. Who lost. Yeah, he had moments of military brilliance, and the almost insane dedication of the members of ANV, but the question was never really in doubt, he was never going to be able to significantly impact the manufacturing bases of the North, nor could he ever match the North in sheer numbers – we invented the zerg rush. The best he could have hoped for was the ’63 campaign where he hoped to take Washington DC and then sue for peace. Meanwhile, Sherman was half-heartedly informing the South in general of the poor political choices made by their leadership. And Lee knew all of that, and was asked to serve his country, and said ‘hell with you, I like slavery!’. 

And for the south, mentioned several times in several documents, from their POV it was all about teh people-owning. Lincoln as much as said all he wanted to do was preserve the Union, slavery or not – this was power-play as much and more than principle. 

Educational assessment has changed since No Child Learning Basics so that rankings of states for educational achievement no longer really mean anything – everyone is teaching to the test. I don’t remember, nor actually would have ever had a reason to know, how Arkansas stood in rankings before NCLB, but like most southern states of the time (I do remember, for many years, Mississippi being 50th in state rankings, that high because there were only 50 states) I suspect that the majority of children received educations lacking in the learning of stuff. That’s how you end up with this sort of truly amazing bullshit. 

HM, your point is good,re: liberals and not voting because we’re convinced we’re probably doomed. I wonder how much of a factor in that POV is because we can’t even begin to see what it would take to save these goddamn morons from themselves. And how much effort and time and, sad to say but this is in the calculation, money, can we spare? I want to save the kids, but their parents are so, often willfully, stupid that I can’t help but want to just say go to hell. 

2 cents.

I'm not a Civil War scholar, and am happy to take criticism/correction if I've missed or mis-stated anything, but I think I'm basically correct.

Comment the second on Holly.

Are you fucking kidding me.

No, seriously. It's time to turn paleo loose. I'm gonna screw everything, men, women, Ford Fairlanes, ceiling fans. Imma invent new sexual positions - 69? You puss. I'm going for the 276. I'm gonna deal metamucil in old folks homes, first shot free to get them hooked. I'm then going to find Jesus, probably in my bubble bath after a quality mexican meal, and run for President on the Romneybot v.2032/paleo ticket.

We're fucked! W00t!1!!!

An Open Letter To The Modern Thomas Pain(e)s

So, I've been on Twitter for a while. (twitterwhore: @paleotectonics). 

I don't often use it to try to engage, don't even typically look at the timeline. I don't believe it is even really possible to debate with 140 characters - I consider myself primarily a polemicist, so, admittedly, that can be fun, but I can get more creative here. I mostly just use it to talk to the friends I've made and abuse radio show hosts. 

Now, this morning, I did breeze through my timeline. (Every once in a while I look at Yahoo and Youtube comments, as well. These are not good places. Mostly just reminders that Adventure Time is prophecy and not the result of psilocybin and Benadryl.)  One of the folk I follow is Trix (@commiegirl1) of Wonkette, and she got into an brief exchange this AM, probably nothing much to her at her level of notability, but one of the tracks she was in contained a quote I found rather illustrative.

Liberals are Americans who hate the ideals that made America free & prosperous. They poison the water of freedom

Ferpplt. The frak. Hmmm. K.

Dear Modern Day Martin Luthers,

WHO IN THE BARKING HELL TALKS LIKE THAT?

Okay, Eustis, I realize you believe you are channelling Thomas Jefferson(1). I realize your talking points are filled with this gargle. I realize you have gone through pallets of cardboard, boxes of markers, and hours upon hours with rulers creating masterpieces of political philosophy.

THE BLLOD OF PARATRIOTS IS THE SUMP OF AMERICAN IRRIGATION

THIS TRICORNER HAT IS JUSTICE 

OUR FOUR FATHERS ATE AT THE LOAF OF GOD

There's a reason we mock you. Gleefully, in my case. You not only do not address a single argument, you can't seem to get near the topic. Paul Krugman says that the math and the evidence/experience shows that raising the minimum wage doesn't hurt the economy. You respond BIRTHCERTIFICATEGHAZI. Bill Nye gives his likely valuable time to Ken Ham in a quixotic attempt to educate him, of all people. Ham responds with godidit and by attempting to game the tax system and most existing labor laws. 

I'm certain you are an inspiration. Your garden gnomes remain standing throughout your whole howl. If it rains, you've inspired gawd to fix your irrigation. If the wind blows, you've inspired gawd to dry you the hell off after the rain. Congratulations. But.

Our country has legitimate problems, and the adults need to work on it. So you go find tricorners for your lego city denizens, or work on your discourse. If you don't like the minimum wage, give an actual reason. If you don't like President Obama, give a legitimate reason. I didn't like President FootiePajamas, and for reasons, not having anything to do with the fact that he was a dry-drunk coke-fiend puppet to his Vice President. Unknown trillions lost in a crusade in the Middle East. The attempt to privatize Social Security. His letting New Orleans drown while rebuilding Trent Lott's vacation home. 

Step up your game, or go sit in the stands, chief.

Love, paleo



(1)Or, perhaps, more likely, Jefferson Davis.  Possibly Jefferson Sessions, R-AL, Kleagle of the Klowncil Of Klitizens, District South. Unlikely George Jefferson, East Side, Deluxe Apartment In The Sky.

I Could Be Famous And Evil If I Had No Moral Structure, Too!

I love Wisconsin. I'm from western WI, and spent much of my life in Badgerland. I know everywhere to hunt and fish, the best camping, breweries, strip clubs. Friends and family throughout the state, Eau Claire, La Crosse, Hayward, Janesville, Madison (80 square miles surrounded by reality), Milwaukee. Home of ghosts and beasties, Ridgeway, the Beast Of Bray Road, Elmwood, Cashton, Crex Meadows. This is why is hurts so much to see the quality of Wisconsin politicians.

La Crosse, where I grew up, has a history of wishy-washy centrists, the mayors I grew up with (primarily Patrick Zielke) being blandly business/COC/Elks Club friendly, up to the congressional level, with the current congressman, Ron Kind, being a damnable Blue Dog, and the prior, Steve Gunderson, a moderate (when there use to be such a thing) Republican.
At the state level, Herb Kohl, nominally Democratic but treated the Senate seat as his due, as the inevitable end game to his wealth, and then did NO-THING with it. Thomas Thompson, Tommy to his masters, far and away the dumbest sibling of an otherwise rather successful family. Ron Johnson, who took Feingold's seat in the 2010 debacle (please vote!, bitches!!!), gleeful teabagger, got schooled by Hillary Clinton. And finally, Paulie (Pecs) Ryan, famed fabricator, took social security while belonging to one of Wisconsin's successful business families, who incidentally made much of the family money via government contract - while calling us lesser folks, who might be relying on a pension or social security, 'moochers'.* 

I bring Roidboy up last, as he has been in the news for his CPAC experiences, primarily his speech and LIES!!!!!! about a brown bag lunch. 
I want to focus on one line from that pile of shit.

"People don't just want a life of comfort--they want a life of dignity."

First of all, no shit. Ass. But also, hey, who has been hell bent on taking away that dignity, for years?! Who is calling the poor 'takers', 'looters', suggesting that those who do not have property should have the franchise taken away from them? Who suggested that working three jobs to make ends meet is 'uniquely american'? (And by the way, Georgie, suck on a tailpipe.) Who blamed inner city issues (whoa, my puppy's ear just perked up. What the hell?) on a lack of work ethic, justified by the 'studies' of Charles Murray?**

It's you, Paulie, you and your co-hoard, claiming that those what ain't got much ain't got pride, that if you ain't got none you didn't deserve none. Good Catholic St. Paulie who ordered a soup kitchen to re-open so he could photo-op his way into the hearts of americans. You're a genuinely horrible person, P-Ry. Lying about marathons, about the 14'ers.**** You got yours, fuck everyone else. Forcing your staffers to read the completely inadequate book (but excellent building materiel) Atlas Shrugged. You never watched Diff'rent Strokes because it was too racially provocative. You. Are. A Weed.

UPDATE: ARE YOU STINKING KIDDING ME? Scott Fitzgerald, Senate Majority leader of WI, blocks a bill to benefit to cancer patients, treating oral cancer meds the same as intravenous treatments, potentially saving patients', well, everything. Shocker - Fitzie's brother is a pharmaceutical lobbyist. My beloved Wisconsin, why are you not running these assholes out of state with pitchforks!?!?!


*FYI, I don't care that he took survivors benefits, he was entitled (SWIDT!) to the benefits his father had earned. But he's a hypocrite and proven public liar.
**Oh, wait, that one was Paulie. Who then claimed he was speaking inarticulately.***
***This is inarticulate. 


Paulie just slipped and spoke his mind.

****From the Gawker article,

Paul Ryan was at the very first Train show.

 What a beautiful way to say "douchebag".

Speak For Yourself, Dude!

The head of the MN Democratic-Farmer-Labor party was interviewed on drive-time radio this morning, and said (para)"The ACA is a step in the right direction. Most Americans want to see everyone have health insurance."

Fuck that noise.

I want to see everyone have HEALTH CARE. As in the chance to see, be evaluated by, a doctor. By whatever means necessary. If it involves some sort of insurance scheme, and that is the only way to get people HEALTH CARE, son-of-a-bitch, but at least people will have HEALTH CARE.

On a basic level, however, health insurance is a scam, gambling on the life of a person, and the health insurance companies have no particular mission or any particular frame of mind towards providing HEALTH CARE for anyone. Nothing makes an insurance company happier than you paying your premiums in full for the year and then unexpectedly getting caught in a woodchipper.

The ACA is only a step in the right direction if along those coordinates there is a single payer system.

Modern Journalism In The US - Let's Review The Basics

I have to digress a touch to make my point, so please bear with me.

So, since it’s playoff time, and we scratched our way into the division hotseat*, I am addicted to sports radio for at least another week.

I was listening to ESPN, Mike and Mike in the Morning, with two guest hosts, doesn’t matter who necessarily, or the specifics of their story. In brief, they stated that a reporter had asked a coach, or GM, or owner, whatever, what they considered to be a loaded question, and said they may have gotten better information by asking the question in a different manner. (In fairness, they did not claim to be journalists, they stated that they were just giving their thoughts.) The scenario they used as illustration was that of one of them asking his six-year-old child about a trip to the aquarium …

(para)“So I could have asked ‘You liked the dolphins, huh’, and his reply would have been ‘Yeah’, one word. But I asked ‘What did you think of the dolphins’ and his face lit up and he went on and on. So I think if you ask someone a question without an overt or covert bias, I don’t think you get the same amount of information…”

Your kid is six. Enthusiastic and talkative, and good for him!

Now, let’s consider, first the professional athlete, and the professional sports team owner/board member/general manager.

The professional athlete is typically not particularly socialized. Since grade school they have been told they are special and treated with kid gloves. They receive subtle conditioning on how to respond questions from anyone – see Bull Durham – and if they receive the open-ended how-do-you-feel question, you will get some variation of “Well, we gotta take it one game at a time, my teammates are great, I respect my coaches, god willing we make the playoffs.” Try to get specific, though. You quiz that same athlete on a bad play, at best he will say something to the effect of ‘it’s something I have to work on.’ You ask the athlete about his recent arrest for nun-beating and his agent steps in.

The professional sports owner/board member/general manager is a businessman. (There are a handful of these guys who are actually interested in putting a good product on the field, not many but a few. However, most of the business end of a sports team see team ownership as either a loss leader or a resume fluffer.) The truth crosses his lips only if there is a dollar sign involved. Businessmen are frequently not so much merely conditioned as flat out trained at gaslighting the public. Since the truth is rarely profitable, if a businessman is talking he’s lying his ass off. Give him an open question, he starts with platitudes and ends with how a stadium can only benefit the people of your city, and so his demand for a stadium or else is really a favor to the public. Give him a pointed question and he'll need an airsick bag for the amount of spinning he is about to do.

Take it to the public at large. Ask a Tealibangelical what they think of President Obama. “Supermarxistsocialisticdictatorialkenyan!” they sing in unison. Ask them what any of those words mean, and in what manner the President is those things, and you get a Palinish, meaningless word salad. Ask Jamie Dimon about the state of JPMorgan and put on a helmet, you are about to get buried in clichés. Ask Jamie Dimon “What did you do to deserve $23M a year from JPMorgan?” and it is a real short press conference.

The point is that open-ended questions don’t work on people with agendas. Your athletes and owners, your RWNJs and plutocrats, all have agendas that do not involve actual information. A good reporter gets his facts as tight as he can and then starts asking questions, with a covert or an overt bias towards the truth. Ask tough questions. Pin them down.

• ·       If they avoid the question, point out loudly that they are refusing to answer the question. Broadcast it far and near. Hold their feet in the fire.
• ·       If they inadvertently tell the truth, and the truth is a good thing, reward them. (Like a puppy. They may start liking the truth.  …  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHALOLOLOL!!!)
• ·       If they inadvertently tell the truth, and the truth is a bad thing, beat them down.
• ·       If they lie (they will), raze their Villages, salt the ground, humiliate them, destroy them.

The Constitution says nothing about watering the tree of liberty, or BENGHAZIDRONESOMGWTFBBQ!!!, but does guarantee a 5^th Estate, a free press. Implicit in that is a duty, by the press, to comfort the afflicted and AFFLICT THE F’ING COMFORTABLE! Think, do your job. Let us assess our situations with full knowledge of the situations.We have so very much gotten away from that, by refusing to ask the questions that are based in reality. By allowing the spin and the random dog-bites-droid lunacy to replace the asking of the hard questions, on behalf of the public, we suffer as a society. 

Dear The Press,

Please afflict the comfortable. Thank you, appreciated!

Love,

paleotectonics

*And yes, you stupid ESPN sumbitches who want to change the playoff structure to have the top 6 conference teams in the playoffs, rather than the current structure of the 4 division winners and the top two remaining teams as wildcards, the Packers belong in the playoffs. We got there by winning when it counted. If your favored team did not make the bracket but had a better record than Green Bay, tell them to win when it counts. Win your division or be one of the other two top teams and claim a wildcard spot. Or go home and shut up.

Climate Change Denial Isn't Just A Hobby, I'm A Member

So, listening to sports talk on the way home from work (no judging. The only antidote to remembering how bad the Packers were yesterday is listening to Twin Cities media call their team a squad of nun-beaters.)

Local Limbaugh wannabee and suspected serial egg-plant buggerer (it would be irresponsible not to speculate) Joe Soucheray was laying down a groove, troof about the Vikings, and the subject turned to the Bears-Ravens game, and other slightly more important news from yesterday.

Joe said, para, that tornadoes happen, and that the only reason people notice them nowadays is that people are living in areas that used to have tornadoes go through and they would just kill a rabbit maybe. His co-host, an old sportswriter named Patrick Reusse (who's actually alright, his choice of friends notwithtatnding), brought him in from the ledge a bit, and eventually they settled on "Well, it's not unheard of."

Dear Mr. Souchoreilly,

People have been living in Chicago for a bit. Cincinnati? Not exactly the wild frontier. Washington IL, F4, pretty flattened. Been around a while, did a bit of good in this skirmish called World War II. F3, Paducah, Kentucky. Some horses ain't'nt come down yet. 20 city blocks on the Natl. Registry of Historic Places. Tornado touched down at a uranium enrichment plant, and by pure luck, no releases. Check out The Weather Channel for more.

You know what? No, Joey, get your hand out of the vegetable patch and listen, goddammit. Yeah, sometimes tornadoes do happen, sometimes out of nowhere. Snownadoes. Sharknadoes even. 

12+ of the rotten bastards in middle damn November?!?!

Someone may have noted that. Just saying.

What will it take for you to realize, stuff is not exactly right?

Open Letter To AM 950, MN's Progressive Radio

I listened to my usual radio show this morning on the way to work, The Morning Grind with Matt McNeil.

He entertained a caller named Alex, who claimed to be a true independent. Among the viewpoint espoused by our one true independent was that (para) "I blame the republicans, but Obama lost me when he would not come to the table when the republicans proposed to fund a few things. That's like, if you are trying to free hostages and the hostage takers are willing to release a few, and you demand they keep all of them or release all of them, and Obama is being a real bad person by not releasing those few hostages."

Matt McNeil then pointed out, correctly, that the republicans, if allowed to fund the few things they like, would then allow the rest of government to die, and fuck anyone who gets hurt, they got theirs, or at least the blahs won't get anything, or something. Benghazi.

Matt then had a caller named Jeff, who, after implying that Alex was as dumb as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory*, objected to the analogy of 'hostages', with which Matt agreed, stating that it was in poor taste and minimized true hostage situation. I took pen to computer screen and wrote and yelled my objections to the comment line. Sweetie then informed me that I was an idiot and demonstrated a thing called typing. Please to contemplate:

Mr. McNeil, Mr. Wonderful,

In reference to caller Alex (and I would doubt he is a true independent, sounded like a libertarian, a conservative republican that likes marijuana and consequence-free-for-the-man sex), Matt and Jeff said that the "hostage" was a poor analogy, and not appropriately respectful to true hostage situations, "which are truly ugly" (para).

I, instead, believe the hostage analogy is truly apt, and this is ugly. Lives are at risk.

• Women and children needing the pittance the govt allows them in food aid to make it through the day

• The FDA - anyone eating chicken in California today?

• All sorts of health research

• OSHA and workplace safety

A better hostage analogy would be:

The republicans have taken the hostages (government services rated non-essential). The republicans offer to let a handful of hostages, that they either like or find politically useful (WW2memorialgate-wtf-omg, fund the full Defense budget, VA Benefits) go, in exchange for another hostage (the ACA), and then machine gun the rest of the hostages (the aforemention WIC, FDA, OSHA, CDC, ACA, Justice Dept., Commerce Dept., Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security), causing untold suffering for a helluva lot of people, except for, and I was shocked to reach this conclusion, rich white guys.

The Teahadis are that bad.

Love, paleotectonics

Is that fair? Am I making a reasonable argument?

*Watch now plz.

Morning Vandalism (And Response To OBS)

"The Teabaggers are revolting!"
"Yeah, they stink on ice!"













PShoop credit to Mr. OBS.

Another Good Guy With A Gun Went Past The Expiration Date

Yes, I know it was a woman (with a child in the car? Jesus Christ!!?!), I just have a need to remind people that Wayne LaPierre was a waste of sperm. FALSE FLAG BENGHAZI ROSWELL!!!

That's not what I was really going after, though. It has been a horrendous few days politically. The 27% mouth-breathers have Killed Government In The Auditorium With A Bag Of Dumb, and I fully expect them to go after the credit rating as well, because if you are gonna suck a cock you may as well go for the balls.

I'm aware my language has gotten infinitely coarser of late, at least when talking politics. Don't worry too much, as a nation we are terminally fucked and my little notepad doesn't stand much chance against a collection of people who need directional signals on their Hoverrounds because the teabags covering their eyes prevent them from being human. Here's hoping for a hard flu season. Anyhow.

I try to avoid talking politics with most people, mostly because I am incapable of respecting or responding politely to republicans, and there are too many of them, ooooh, sorry, got that wrong, since 2001 as of 2009 they've mostly been Independents or Libertarians, shut up, twats, in Minnesota, but sometimes I overhear. Today's right wing memes:

The SUV driver chased down by motorcycles and beat up. Wow. Yeah, the cyclists were being shitheads. Doesn't mean you get to kill them. Oh, and "If I were that driver, I'd have had my gun and they'd have really gotten what for. And notice how the news media isn't reporting on this because they're black?" Well, you found out, brighteyes. Oh, and for the record, if the cyclists had been white and the SUV driver black, the SUV driver would have been dead as soon as a cop cleared his car door, followed by "I thought he was stealing it. And he had a gun, he must have tossed it."

The veterans at the World War II memorial, and the National Parks. This one worries me, this is gaining traction, oh-oh-oh the scary BLACK IMPOSTER found out the WWII vets were coming and closed the memorial to show them who is the head Kenyan Pimp! Fuck off, klanboy. What worries me about this meme is that if the 27% mouthbreathers can restore, piecemeal, the bits of the budget they like, and they is sho' nuff trying, screw the rest of the budget and Women, Infants, and Children can die horribly, they'll bring the Moet & Chandon.

Helluva lot of these goddamn worthless teabaggers and their goddamn worthless representatives are children of the World War II vets generation. Wonder if those guys, quietly serving, coming home and building a middle class, in a large part through government money, realized their children would be rabid braindead fucks?

A Couple Of Letters Home

Just wanted to share...

July 31, 2013
Hey folks! 

Thanks for the birthday card, and this weekend Sweetie and I are taking a little weekend up north, we'll use the gift cert for dinner one night. I adore my wife. 

We're doing good here - progress is always slow on the damn house, but it is cheery and stuff, we quibble over things but ever onward. Teh kitties are adorable, the brother-in-law less so but it's cool to have him around. Just had the Neighborhood Night Out, met a bunch of new neighbors, nice people, bring some youth and the pitter-patter of feet between it appears 3 and 15 years oldish. You know I think kids are great, I have a nice big lawn.

You know me, Mr. Big  Liberal, but I'm excited, we're excited, MN Marriage Equality starts at midnight, v. cool... 

We love y'all, take care of yerselves and we'll see you in a couple weeks, 

Love, paleo, Sweetie, Diva Bitch Cat and Punkboy

Sept. 30, 2013
Dad, 

Hope you're alright - I hear they are getting food trucks out to the smaller cities. Mom would have wanted you to eat. 

Things have settled down a little here. I managed to dispose of my brother-in-law, lucky I was sleeping with the gun under my pillow, who knows what he would have done had he caught me by surprise, but with the morgues and cemeteries overflowing I had to get creative. 

It was hard enough with sweetie leaving, but I was just questioned yesterday by agents from the North Shore Provisional People's Council - she and a person known only as Pat are the primary suspects in a series of church flagellations up by Ely. I called the couples next door, and they all called their other significant others, and when faced with that much queeritude they backed off, but then Roald up the street opened up in our general direction and it turned into a brief exchange before the agents headed to a friendly house. Gov. Dayton's Air Force dealt with them with extreme prejudice. The neighborhood has settled into smoldering peace of a sort. 

If the lake cools, I may go fishing. 

No one listened to Cassandra. The man across the street has declared Rastafarian Law and tried to sell me livestock. The cats chewed through the screen door and there are no birds or squirrels left, and actually, thinking about it, I haven't seen the fox kits that had been under the neighbor's shed. What have we done... 

I may head for you, if you can vouch for me at the border. I'll have to fluff it up a bit to make it through the Metro, so excuse the make-up when I see you.  

Watch out, bud.
paleo

This parody inspired by this delightful bit of loonacy. And Green Eggs and Ham. 

That's right! A very generous MFC supporter has agreed to a very generous matching gift, so every dollar you give to help MFC will be DOUBLED up to $10,000, from now through September 30th.

Why? They understand that our religious liberties that have been under attack for many years were further stripped away on August 1st, when same-sex “marriage” became law without any significant religious liberty protections.
Your gift of $25, $50, $100 or more to MFC will be doubled from now through midnight, Monday night, September 30th.

Note: There are more African Americans in this plea for funds then there are in the entire organization.

Dear Jesus, Please Let People Die Of Treatable Shit, I'll Just Blame The Dirty Messicans Anyhow

Seriously, for chrissakes, this woman is dumber than a sack of rotten grapefruit.

“You know who shows up,” Blitzer pressed after Bachmann said her oldest son is a physician. “These are people who don’t have health insurance, and we take care of them.”“Quite often it’s illegal aliens,” Bachmann responded. “Illegal aliens show up, so we the American taxpayer are picking up the tab for people who aren’t American citizens.”

Stupid fucking tool.

I went to emergency rooms any number of times during the years I went without insurance, often well after any long-term damage was already done, but I was tired of coughing/puking, which at that point would have stopped on its own within a few days. You know, the reason primary care physicians exist, and why everyone should have one, and why don't we have BLEEDIN' SINGLE PAYER?

Fucking Evil. Acid Eyes, and the Pubbies, and their merry band of scrotum suckers, are bloodthirsty fucking monsters.