Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Yurei Maru (Ghost Ship)

In my previous post, there was an article about debris, from the tsunami that struck Japan in 2011, approaching Canada. Included was a ship, empty, badly rundown, to the point where no one was interested even in it for scrap salvage.

I thought there may be a ballad in the story - an adventure, beauty and tragedy, told from the POV of the ship. Bigbadbaldbastard in a comment suggested a monster story could be created from the situation. I'm maybe trying to split the difference, and see if I have anything here to pursue.

Any ideas? Thoughts, suggestions, scathing rebuttals?

Yurei Maru - One

He wandered across the topdeck, his now constant internal commentary climbing and descending it's usual staircase. Why was he still here - the rest of the crew having abandoned him in the night. Though only 10 days prior, his memory of the following morning was a blur, a vaguely remembered progression from confusion to panicked running, looking for the captain, the engineers, his friend and partner in mending the nets Kobiyami.

Why had they left him here - he had not an enemy that he knew of. Why had they left at all - the fishing had not been as successful as some runs, but they had yet to make way for the rich fishing beds of the Coral Sea, as planned, as they had provisioned for.

He felt he had adapted as well as he could have to the situation. He kept himself fed, and busy. He knew nothing of the controls, or navigation, but was confident that with a certain amount of luck he would come across another ship - they had been in well-worked fishing grounds when the crew had left him, and not far off of the usual shipping lanes.

He worked hard to keep his wits about him. Initially, he had rushed to investigate the voices and steps as he heard them, but had eventually resigned himself to the knowledge that they were a figment of hope, and sounds of the sea, and accepted that he was alone. The streaks of greasy fluorescence on the rails, ladders, and bulkheads he attributed to moisture and lack of polish. He had no reason to pay attention to such maintenance tasks prior to his current situation.

As A Species, We Fail Math Forever

Our need to control our environment, but not the green part of it.

Tips to win the $363M lottery this week. Let me put a touch of emphasis where appropriate.

Tips to win the $363M lottery this week.

I won't be accused of hypocrisy here - I'm in a work pool for tickets, it'd be very nice to win a split of that, I've already picked out the boat, land, and electric fence. But I, and probably the majority of people playing, don't have any illusions, for good or ill.

Yes, you do have to play to win, and yes, people do win it. And more people, right now, a poop-pile more people, playing does not mathematically change the odds of one particular ticket to win over another - I am not going to do the math, it's some sort of one in several billion chance thingy, but each individual set of numbers faces the same odds. And if you buy 100 tickets instead of one, you change your odds from one in several billion to 100 in several billion, which in the greater scheme of things ain't much. It is luck. Live with it.

Its a nice dream, I get it, I have 'em too. But an on-line NEWS AGGREGATOR is posting Tips to win the $363M lottery as though this is useful, needed information, you know, news?!?! Really?

This is not merely a disservice to we the people, this is fucking criminal.

I Just Actually Find This Fascinating

Going through the morning news and views. Me being me, it is a cycle of Think Progress, Cesca, Mr. Bogg, a handful of others, and this morning an aggregator I made on Yahoo, keyword searches for ghost, UFO, cryptid. It quickly became apparent that these keywords are not particularly efficient, but I have yet to refine them - hmmph, something to think about. Maybe its because once upon a time I made a rookie error and read Yahoo comments, thereby putting a bad taste in my mouth and a tumor on my soul. At any rate, I still check once in a while, knowing that half the hits for ghost involve Patrick Swayze in one nebulous form or another. What came up this morning was this.

Debris from the tsunami that struck Japan in 2011 is approaching Canada. (This may give one particular Canadian creature a full on conniption fit...) This is an unmanned squid-boat that may make landfall, and they intend to let it hit land and fall, no one wants to salvage it, in as little as a week if storms hit. Been drifting for a year. There is a ballad in there somewhere.

Seriously. There is a very good short story to be written here, "Last Voyage of The Tsunami Maru", something of the sort.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Candidates Respond To The Trayvon Martin Case

Mitt Romney:

“Ann and I live just like you. So when I became the watch captain of our neighborhood, I noticed, as a successful business man, that the Neighborhood Watch by my house was duplicating the efforts of my private security force. So, I laid them off. Not the watch, the neighborhood. This was a very successful move, the neighborhood is blue-collar crime free, and was good for the economy, not like the last 12 years under Obama.”

Rick Santorum:

“With a name like Trayvon, he wasn’t likely to be a Catholic bishop. And, he can no longer buy birth control.”

Newt Gingrich:

“Frankly, I’m sick of these erudite, professorial elitist traitors, trying to interpret the Constitution in a way that informs us that something should be done about some such stuff or other. There are moon colonies to be built, fellow Americans. And, frankly, I do not believe that either of these men would have been on the staff, not sure why, just a feeling, can’t put my finger on it. And for someone to attempt to take away the political high ground from me on this issue, well, that is a violation of my fundamental freedoms.”

Ron Paul:

“This is just another distraction. They are attempting to silence me, the only candidate who cares about the issues. Gold standard, no minimum wage, hoo-ha cherry soda!”*

President Barack Obama:

I gotta say, and I am not a huge fan of our centrist president (god, what I wouldn’t give for a real socialist!), but seriously, this one is simple.

*See this
Ron Paul – Bad Lip Reading:

Friday, March 23, 2012

I'll Give You Money To Take iTunes Out And Beat It

I'm in possession of a new laptop - badly needed, as the old one has less power than a TI calculator and more viruses than the CDC. I got a few new toys, Push 2 TV, a couple other little widget thingees, and I'm quite happy with the new naked lady machine. This is not my problem.

It seems Apple (the bad one, not the Beatles one) has taken many steps to appease the RIAA, FBI, Lars Ulrich, hell, the Catholic Bishops for all I know, and prevent the unpayingsomeoneagain way of handling music. Since I have an iPod and iPhone, I have iTunes. I don't buy much music, mostly use it to hold my cds, a lot of podcasts (Marc Maron's WTF, Bob and Chez Bubble Genius, lots of paranormal stuff, The Nerdist). Transferring podcasts and Applepaid stuff between computers is a breeze, its all held in the cloud. Ripped cds, on the other hands, not so much. So, I have had to take umpteen GB of stuff and transfer it via magic stick, 16GB at a shot, and along the way rebuild my iTunes directory (it did need some re-ordering of lists). Its been a, umm, process. Bastards!

I mean, shit! There has got to be an easier way. Oh wait, there is. An Apple widget, only $25 a month. Well, why didn't you say so! Bastards bastards bastards!

Its done now, and so am I. But, I did rediscover some great tunes on the way...

Chris Whitley - Big Sky Country

Also too, fuck VEVO.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Oh, New York, I Am So Sorry...

...that you are about to get hit by Hurricane Timmeh. (snrk)

No, I mean it. It's not funny (heehehuhhhhheh)


Two-Minute-Timmy has packed up a trailer load of koolaid, hired someone to teach him spell make the mapquest thingy go beep, and headed for the Jets, who have shown such faith* that they also requested a seventh rounder, for which they paid a fourth and sixth rounder. But what they got...
A man with the footwork of Sammy Davis Jr... today. A man who knows the bible backwards and forwards but can't spell 'bible'... or 'the' for that matter. A man with a cannon for an arm ... being aimed by a drunken sailor in a typhoon after already having been sunk.

The circus will soon arrive, along with millions of followers, driving used Oldsmobiles with bobblehead Jesuses on their dashboards, and roofs, hoods, hubcaps. Admittedly, this dumb bastard will suck even more oxygen out of the legitimate sports news, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, those guys are generally the biggest jock-sniffers on the planet and it will be fun to watch the fail. New York football fans are vocal and unforgiving, and Timbo is going to learn many fascinating, expressive ways of stating one's views.

The sooner this leak in the genetic pool is gone, the better.

*I did something there, not sure what

Pay No Attention To The Unemployed Man Behind The Curtain

I've given a bit of attention to Minnesota's own Mitchy Bachmann, currently vying to be the star of Rob Zombie's remake of "The Sound of Music", working title "Brainfondlers of the Northern Plains".

And we've also briefly explored the Minnesota "Holy Shit, Over There, A Gay Person*, Let's Run Away And Put Into The State Constitution That They Are Icky" Amendment. The frequent emails I get from 'Minnesotans Who Have Marriages That Will Be Destroyed If Gay People Exist, Inc.' bring the crazy, so much crazy. Painful, true crazy.

There are our state economic issues, not as bad as some states, but still suffering the effects of Lil' Timmy Pawlenty kicking the budgetary can down the road for a year or 8. Our Governor Dayton, who I voted for, donated to, and talked up, seems convinced that it is in our best interests to give $700 million to a faux New Jersey mobster, who has reached legal levels of corruption that Tony Soprano could only dream of. Said quasi-mafioso, Zygi Wilf, will then build a stadium/mall
complex, and keep all receipts, including any tips given to the restroomattendants. We have a mall, very american and stuff, perhaps he's heard of it. We have hotels, some very good hotels - Hotel Ivy in downtown Minneapolis is stunning. Ohhh, and the Vikings have a stadium, paid for, with a new roof, after a minor mishap. Ohhh part 2 - the Vikings have been in re-building mode for the span of three different ownership groups. Although they could trade for Tebow.**

Also relevant, dozens of cases of votus interruptus throughout the 2012 primary season, as state legislature struggle to rein in dangerous groups of people, groups with one thing in common - they tend to belong to voter demographics that tend to vote Donkey.
Where am I going with this?

*This is a literary device known as a 'euphemistic paraphrase'.
**Re: The Real Life Waterboy. I'm kidding. But if it turns out I'm psychic, please kill me.

I Need This On A T-Shirt


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Musical

Last night I fought, to a standstill anyway, a new laptop, assorted cabling, all sorts of components and fancy technology*. Work and heartache remains. I shall fight it on the beaches, apply velcro strip bindings in the cities, argue with Comcast in the fields, I shall not surrender. (I haz gravitas now! Kin I be Seniter from Moosessota?)

At a somewhat less loud and obscenity filled point in the proceedings, we noticed sounds and pictures coming from our big-screen Netflix and DVD watcher. I were confused, but Sweetheart, who possesses a memory, and far more patience than her idiot husband, told me "That's the local news, honey. And hush, I want to see this!"

The "this" she was referring to was a commercial for "Bring It On, the Musical", soon to be playing in town. Singing, Dancing, Tumbling, Stretcher-Bringing, live on stage! The Colors, the Lights, the... Ummm, I can't claim to have seen it, I tend to avoid films not made by Mel Brooks, Christopher Guest, or starring Unnameable Horrors and Eldritch Cetaceans, but wasn't this a movie once, Singing, Dancing, Tumbling, and through the magic of special effects, no Stretcher-Bringing? Colors, Lights, Seizures?

This was not a stretch, goddammit. Let's take a musical film and do a Musical! It would be like making Rent the Musical, Based on the Movie!**

I want to see these production companies take on a challenge - Reservoir Dogs, the Musical, Aria sung by Keitel! Andrew Lloyd Webber's Inception! Undefeated, in Mime (the only way I could stand to listen to that snowbilly lunatic)! You are professionals, with backing, experience, and technical expertise. Stretch your horizons!

*See the URL. Simple Little Electrician. I take electrical energy and convert it, through switching paths and devicing, to mechanical energy. That is to say, I take sparky thingys and make other whatsits go whirr, spinspinspin, hammerhammerhammer, boom. You show me a printed circuit board and I go looking for someone to give money to.

**Kidding, that would never happen.***

***See What I never mind.

Friday, March 16, 2012

I'm The NIC*, Bitch!

*Nerd In Charge

Ughh, I'll never mix
carrot juice an
d radish juice again.

Gotta get some stuff done. Must wake up. I work a non-standard schedule, a mix of (7) - 12 hr days every two weeks, and when one of them involves major emergency switchgear repairs, it becomes a much longer day, screws me up for a bit. But, stuff, so...

Make some breakfast, listen to Stephanie Miller, and plot a plan, errr, plan a, ummm, fuggit, make a list.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Lets, see, checking the old inbox...Bill, 419 scam, cialis, wha...?

Dear Friends,

I am writing you today because liberal opponents of traditional
marriage have announced that
a major - George Soros - like
donor will match all donations up to $200,000 to defeat the Minnesota Marriage
Protection Amendment. This means that the assault on marriage in Minnesota is
now receiving nation-wide financial support. But, even funding like this won't
stop us from protecting marriage by putting it in our state constitution where
activist judges and politicians can't meddle with it.

These jackals are really reaching now. George Soros-like. Of course, the quasi-Soros Connection being announced in a font size than can be seen from SPACE.

This is (in part) an email I received from the Minnesota For Marriage coalition, dedicated to the proposition that gays are icky. MN has a Protect Our Bungholes From People That Make Us Worried And Slightly, Deep In Our Hearts, Kinda Tingly Amendment on the fall ballot. Right now it is about odds on one way or t'other for passage. Fudge.

At any rate, I just got a kick out of the design of this appeal, and the phraseology "George Soros - like". Their propaganda isn't merely fail, it is so unbelievably badly done! How in the hell can this be 50/50?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

OK, Mr. Limbaugh, Into The Stirrups, C'mon, Big Fella

Sorry about the title. Braino is on me. Send the receipt.

Just for fun, from Mother Jones.

Rush Limbaugh is trying to sell his audience, consisting of: 25% men who have given Larry The Cable Guy a veeerrry good living; and 75% elderly white men that have never taken part in any form of birth control that they know of because condoms are socialism and metrosexual and that damn mistress better not get pregnant; the claim that women must take birth control like men must take Viagra, one BCP for every sexual experience. (Or like Rush must take Viagra, 100 illegally prescribed pills to sex-tourism capitol Teh Dominican Republic.) Hell, given his audience, it's not a hard sell, not exactly like selling ice to eskimos, or timeshares to me. His few remaining advertisers at this point are goldbugs and retirement services. Perhaps he should reach out and grab ahold of Pfizer. (See note above about Braino, receipt, etc.)

If the Flying Spaghetti Monster really loves us, we'll see just one of these proposed laws pass. In a perfect world, the Brothers Koch would realize, as the doctor sat back down at his computer, that women go through all this and more anytime they see an ob/gyn, and overcome with compassion, Chucky and Davy would drop this stupid, and as we've seen bloody effective, attack against women. In the real world, Charlie and Dave would get their woody inducers from Limbaugh's fixer, who does a stiffy run to Mexico every 2 weeks or so. It would be middle- and lower-class men fidgeting in a waiting room, too embarrassed to talk, who, for no reasons at all other than inconvenience and personal squick, would suddenly end this nonsense and disappear it into a deep hole with a shrubbery planted over it, never to be spoken of, except perhaps trimmed every year or so. (The shrubbery, not the nonsense.)

Of course the nonsense will rear its dumbass head again after some time - Peak Wingnut is a goal for the Limbaugh types, not a physical limit. But for a bit, anyhow, women's health will again be treated as, you know, health for women. Including using birth control for controlling birth. Stuff which is good. Just one. Please!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Yep. We're Going To Have To Do This Again

Goody! We are going to have another lesson in responsible journalism and politicking!

On three. One...Two..


Sorry, I just get so excited.

Via Think Progress, we find Congressman Cliff Stearns fellating validating a terrified old white person's fears about President Obamaoogabooga. Fresh on the heels of Sheriff Joe "What Sexual Assault Crisis" Arpaio of Arizona declaring that a crack investigative team of Birchers Arizona volunteer patriots has determined the birth certificate provided by the president is "such an incredible fake that we can't tell that it's not real, so QED he's a Muslim", the Florida Congressman assures his constituents that their fears are not groundless, but it won't do any good to impeach because it will make him look like a fool they don't have the time before the election, so just vote him out.

Of course, as the 2016 election comes around, they'll be promising to impeach Pres. Obama in the future, to invalidate this whole dark (SWIDT) era in our history.

I admit fully, I am not Pres. Obama's biggest fan. He is way, waaaay over to my right side, without, of course, being insane. But really? After three years of no white concentration camps, no gun crushers rolling through the neighborhoods, of having Rick Freakin' Warren deliver the invocation at his inauguration, and we are still gonna have to deal with bed-wetting xenophobes for the next 8 months?

FSM save us!



Reminds Me of My Dancing Days

Ummm, no. I can shuffle, do the redneck arm-swing. Actually, I can polka, and reasonably well - a byproduct of Germanitude. At any rate...

We went to the Shen Yun Performing Arts orchestral and dance performance on Friday night in Minneapolis, and it was stunning! The company is dedicated to Chinese culture generally, and in some portions to Falun Dafa (Which I inferred to mean Path Of Love? Correction welcome...) It had multimedia elements, the projection screen in back (with the logo) had animation tied in with the performance, as well as background. The performers were incredibly athletic, expressive in both face and movement. I do not know enough about dance to give name to motion, but there were bits of tumbling, martial arts, western ballet, stories of drama, protest, comedy, love of the land, broken up with Chinese opera. Couldn't get any pics, they enforce a no photomagraphy rule, for good reasons so I had no issues. I could get this at the end, the complete company and orchestra.

The night out was part of a Christmas present to She Who Walks On Ground I Sorta Dig, so we also went to dinner at Fogo De Chao, a 'traditional Brazilian churuscarria steakhouse'. It was so good, and so bad for you. After your salad, which was perfectly fantastic in its own damn right, there are any number of servers carrying around hunks o' grilled animal from table to table, a real meat orgasm.

The wine and scotch lists left nothing to be desired either. I'm not a wine drinker, and my wife doesn't go especially fancy on wine, but she had a very good sweeter white, while I had Glen Morangie Nectar D'or - (angel sounds).

There is a bit of a hullabaloo hereabouts regarding the local football team having naked pictures of the governor asking for public financing for a stadium and likely receiving it. The local improv workshop, Brave New Workshop, is addressing this!

We don't get enough date nights...

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Not Funny At All

This is horrible, truly horrible.

Joseph Kony is the warlord of the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda. Infamous for creating child soldiers. I'd sleep all right if he were to not wake anymore.

*Word of warning. There is a charity involved with the film, and some questions have been raised about the efficacy of this charity. Doesn't change the film, however. And I am not focused so much on the charity, but write your representatives and the White House. Say something to the effect of "Hey, real bad guy. Could we please do something?"

Takei Schools Tennessee

George Takei has way too much fun.

In his mid 70's, married and likely to stay that way, and unbelievably popular, with multiple platforms to speak from, he gets to hammer on idiots in ways wonderful.

Tennessee Lawmakers: We Need To Chat from Allegiance - A New Musical on Vimeo.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Return Of Aimee Semple McPherson

Ooof. Michele "Acid Eyes" Bachmann has claimed that the Affordable Care Act could lead to a one-child per couple law. We can ignore the fact that groundhog-like, she was due to pop her head up by spring. ( Given the möbius strip that this primary season has become, I wonder how many states she'd have taken yesterday had she stuck around...)

As Snowe voted against the Blunt bill, and now Murkowski recanting, I'm seeing bloggers and commenters ask "Where are the other Republican women on the (bogus) contraception issue? Who is the next right-wing woman to throw her opinion out there?" You know how they say there are no stupid questions? This is a stupid question.

Does Stephanopolous think Jean Schmidt is suddenly going to remember there are other uses for female happy parts? Given what Bachshit said, is she really going to come on MSNBC and say "Don't you dare have sex, but just in case have a box of dental dams in the bathroom drawer." (Marcus, you dog!) Hell, Murkowski only recanted her vote - she did vote for that POS bill in the first stupid place. There have been no high profile winger women saying a discouraging word about the Blunt bill - Loesch, Cupp, Gretchen, Greta? Anyone?

Where are all the GOP women on Blunt? Right next to him holding his sammich.

Home Software Widget

I'm remodeling my basement this year, sort of gutting it, to bare block. Get it the way I like it, and take care of some other things that bother me. (No, not a man-cave, hate that bloody stupid term, it will become our primary relaxing area, and although I have a lot of free rein in the rough work, she will be quite involved in the finish.) Showering and such will be a bit more visible than I'd like for a while, but I'm usually the only person down there, and the cats good and truly don't give a shit unless I'm carrying cat hash. I'm a construction guy, confident in my ability to build almost anything*. But, not an artist or an architect, and I work much better with prints than pulling stuff out of thin air. And I was given a recommendation that I want to pass on.

There's a program called Punch! Home and Landscape to help with the design, estimates, and stuff. It's not exactly a barrel of monkeys to learn how to use (of course, typical construction guy, I chose to learn it by mucking about with it as opposed to, you know, something clever like reading the online manual, so your mileage may vary). Once that was done, though, this sucker is very elegant, makes great 11x17 prints and estimates quantities, which I can then take to Menards (midwestern home improvement chain) so that I can start crossing stuff off after seeing prices and ciphering costs. Regardless of crushed dreams and never-installed jacuzzis, its a great little program.

*actually, have to narrow that a bit. I can build, but show me a car and I start looking for someone to give money to. Blinker fluid at $19 a pint? Maybe I should buy a second pint then, keep it in the garage, for winter driving emergencies.

Here We Go

-let's see, need a classy first line-


Call me paleo, short for paleotectonics. By way of introduction.

As per my address, I am a simple little electrician. Although based in MN, and likely for good, I've had the luck to do a lot of traveling. (And except for the lack of an NFL team, I like Minnesota. A bit lacking in mountains, perhaps.)

I'd like to talk about nerd stuff, music, thingies that go bump in the night, cultural bits, and, as I'm basically a huge commie, politics. I try to take very little seriously, especially myself. (I'm taking lessons from my wife on that one.) I welcome all people, and all opinions, as long as they promise to do the same. As far as comments, bring the geek - Comiccon, PAX, and all news of Cthulu. Bring the science, especially geology, loves me some rocks. Ghosties, Bigfeets, Jersey Devils, love it. Especially in driving distance. Fishing tips are always welcome, particularly when accompanied by cooking tips. Music is a favorite topic. I'll throw out a couple now on the miniature record player right here - The Rockford Mules (incredibly crunchy slide blues rock), Jerry Reed (Smokey and the Bandit aside, my lord, what an amazing picker). Take a shot.

Briefly, I've been haunting blogs for a bit, trying to bring the snark, sometimes successfully. A commenter from one of my favorite sites, and host of his own blog, suggested, when said site was down for a bit, that everyone jonesing should start their own blog*. Bear with me a bit, it may take a handful of posts to get a posting frequency, style, and such, but I hope I can entertain, and provide another place for snarky people to let their smart-ass fly. Here We Go.