Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The New Year Is Almost Upon Us

I have some wishes.

I wish for collective sanity - as a country. We'alls fuckered sometimes.

I wish for Johnny Manziel to have a lineman dropped on his head.

I wish it was not -16degF . I want to take my dog for a walk.

I wish for a bowl win tomorrow, Bucky Badger vs the So. Carolina Hicks. I wish for at least one Packer playoff victory, out of a deep personal dislike for the criminal Harbaugh, but for the Packers' Defensive Coordinator, Mr. Dom 'The Colander' Capers, to be unemployed, ummm, tomorrow.

I have personal goals and work goals and I wish to make progress towards all.

I wish to meet anyone who reads and enjoys my drivel IRL and buy them a beer. Or seventeen.

I wish for Phil Robertson to be eaten by ducks.

I wish to make my wife happy.

I wish to catch too many fish to eat. (Ice fishing vacation in two weeks, W00t!!1!!)

I wish for my weight in gold. (Sorry. Couldn't help it.)

I wish for all of you to see something you cannot un-see:

  1. Headphone hat, for the dude what needs tunes whilst shoveling
  2. I'm a REDSHIRT! Been nice knowing everyone. Also, I'm an enormous nerd and apparently my in-laws know this.
  3. Despicable Me - loves me some Minions. See also no. 2.
  4. 21 YO limited edition Lismore Legend single malt, unfortunately marked incorrectly, that is, marked into our price range, by a store that will have difficulty reconciling its December books.

Happy New Year Everybody!!!

Modern Journalism In The US - Let's Review The Basics

I have to digress a touch to make my point, so please bear with me.

So, since it’s playoff time, and we scratched our way into the division hotseat*, I am addicted to sports radio for at least another week.

I was listening to ESPN, Mike and Mike in the Morning, with two guest hosts, doesn’t matter who necessarily, or the specifics of their story. In brief, they stated that a reporter had asked a coach, or GM, or owner, whatever, what they considered to be a loaded question, and said they may have gotten better information by asking the question in a different manner. (In fairness, they did not claim to be journalists, they stated that they were just giving their thoughts.) The scenario they used as illustration was that of one of them asking his six-year-old child about a trip to the aquarium …

(para)“So I could have asked ‘You liked the dolphins, huh’, and his reply would have been ‘Yeah’, one word. But I asked ‘What did you think of the dolphins’ and his face lit up and he went on and on. So I think if you ask someone a question without an overt or covert bias, I don’t think you get the same amount of information…”

Your kid is six. Enthusiastic and talkative, and good for him!

Now, let’s consider, first the professional athlete, and the professional sports team owner/board member/general manager.

The professional athlete is typically not particularly socialized. Since grade school they have been told they are special and treated with kid gloves. They receive subtle conditioning on how to respond questions from anyone – see Bull Durham – and if they receive the open-ended how-do-you-feel question, you will get some variation of “Well, we gotta take it one game at a time, my teammates are great, I respect my coaches, god willing we make the playoffs.” Try to get specific, though. You quiz that same athlete on a bad play, at best he will say something to the effect of ‘it’s something I have to work on.’ You ask the athlete about his recent arrest for nun-beating and his agent steps in.

The professional sports owner/board member/general manager is a businessman. (There are a handful of these guys who are actually interested in putting a good product on the field, not many but a few. However, most of the business end of a sports team see team ownership as either a loss leader or a resume fluffer.) The truth crosses his lips only if there is a dollar sign involved. Businessmen are frequently not so much merely conditioned as flat out trained at gaslighting the public. Since the truth is rarely profitable, if a businessman is talking he’s lying his ass off. Give him an open question, he starts with platitudes and ends with how a stadium can only benefit the people of your city, and so his demand for a stadium or else is really a favor to the public. Give him a pointed question and he'll need an airsick bag for the amount of spinning he is about to do.

Take it to the public at large. Ask a Tealibangelical what they think of President Obama. “Supermarxistsocialisticdictatorialkenyan!” they sing in unison. Ask them what any of those words mean, and in what manner the President is those things, and you get a Palinish, meaningless word salad. Ask Jamie Dimon about the state of JPMorgan and put on a helmet, you are about to get buried in clich├ęs. Ask Jamie Dimon “What did you do to deserve $23M a year from JPMorgan?” and it is a real short press conference.

The point is that open-ended questions don’t work on people with agendas. Your athletes and owners, your RWNJs and plutocrats, all have agendas that do not involve actual information. A good reporter gets his facts as tight as he can and then starts asking questions, with a covert or an overt bias towards the truth. Ask tough questions. Pin them down.

  • ·       If they avoid the question, point out loudly that they are refusing to answer the question. Broadcast it far and near. Hold their feet in the fire.
  • ·       If they inadvertently tell the truth, and the truth is a good thing, reward them. (Like a puppy. They may start liking the truth.    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHALOLOLOL!!!)
  • ·       If they inadvertently tell the truth, and the truth is a bad thing, beat them down.
  • ·       If they lie (they will), raze their Villages, salt the ground, humiliate them, destroy them.

The Constitution says nothing about watering the tree of liberty, or BENGHAZIDRONESOMGWTFBBQ!!!, but does guarantee a 5th Estate, a free press. Implicit in that is a duty, by the press, to comfort the afflicted and AFFLICT THE F’ING COMFORTABLE! Think, do your job. Let us assess our situations with full knowledge of the situations.We have so very much gotten away from that, by refusing to ask the questions that are based in reality. By allowing the spin and the random dog-bites-droid lunacy to replace the asking of the hard questions, on behalf of the public, we suffer as a society. 

Dear The Press,

Please afflict the comfortable. Thank you, appreciated!


*And yes, you stupid ESPN sumbitches who want to change the playoff structure to have the top 6 conference teams in the playoffs, rather than the current structure of the 4 division winners and the top two remaining teams as wildcards, the Packers belong in the playoffs. We got there by winning when it counted. If your favored team did not make the bracket but had a better record than Green Bay, tell them to win when it counts. Win your division or be one of the other two top teams and claim a wildcard spot. Or go home and shut up.

Friday, December 27, 2013

The Time Of The Doctor - Hmmm (Spoilers Be A'Plenty, Having Seen The Ep Is Useful)

The Christmas ep has been and gone. And I was happy with it, and about it.

It was not however, without some issues...

It started out strong, Oswin making Christmas dinner for her parents and grandmother (it must be a stepmother?, Clara losing her mother is a strong plot point previously) and made up boyfriend, turkey in the Time Vortex, the holograph projector to put clothing on Eleven. The question, is this planet the Gallifrey put in the pocket universe by the thirteen Doctors. They go into a discussion of the allowed number of reincarnations, cleaning up some of the logic - Ten regenerating into ... Ten, because "I had some vanity issues". Thus making Eleven, because of the War Doctor and Ten's regen into Ten, the 12th and last incarnation, and bringing in the question of how, since we know there is a regen at the end of this ep, he can regenerate again. There is, in canon, yes I'm a nerd piss off, a possibility of the Time Lords granting more incarnations, so biology huh?

(Update: Also, since Donna took some juice from the Fighting Hand when she became Doctor Donna, is that a regeneration?)

However, after entry into Christmas, it slows down a lot, a bunch of lot. The wooden Cyberman was a neat scene, "Also, I didn't tell you that my sonic screwdriver doesn't work on wood." But, he has used the screwdriver to open doors, cut holes in floors, so as cool as the scene was, it missed. And, the time in Christmas frankly dragged. The children's drawings seemed to make my allergies act up, nice touch.

Now, Clara begs the Time Lords for help, and speaks the only name the Doctor has truly earned and loved. The Time Lords, never known for sentimentality or actually caring about anything, grant what Eleven called 'a new regeneration cycle (is that one more regen, or is that the full 12? Presumably the 12?), and regeneration starts, ending the war in Christmas somewhat anticlimactically, not the best segment they've ever done, fixing a problem with essentially a nuke as opposed to cleverness.

The ending with Eleven and Clara had my allergies reacting again, and the actual regen into Twelve (and I think Capaldi hit the right note in his second appearance), was right, I really liked the abrupt as opposed to some CGI fest.

The next question, waiting for the next season? Rose carried over from Nine to Ten, Ten lost and/or said goodbye to all his companions going to Eleven, a clean slate starting with Pond. Twelve seems to be at least carrying Clara over for a bit, and I really like Clara so good, I hope they make good use of her as opposed to, say, a 3 episode send-off, or going the Rose romantic direction. (That to me made for some great acting for Tenant and Piper, but, eh, not the strongest part of Ten's run for me, I absolutely adored Donna and their relationship.)

I'll be re-watching, of course, probably too many times (yes, Sweetie, deal...), and it was on the whole positive, but could have been better. Needed more Spudboy. Oh, and, Handles was a really good point, and made for a good scene and amazing callback when he powered down for the last time.

Thoughts, comments, scathing rebuttals?

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

I'm A Traditionalist - In A Certain Sense

My own little long-time traditions - get some popcorn and a good scotch.

Why is this not on heavy holiday rotation?

Good voice for Opus.

This was on every Christmastime when I was a little, well, younger paleo. Along with the White Seal.
Good Chuck Jones Stuff.

Nagaina freaked me out then, maybe now too!

And finally, we all know what paleo will be doing into the wee hours after work (I'm on vacation coverage today, pppbblltt! It happens, don't mind, there are probably 30 people on the whole campus, security and my team, so just keep active...) wee hours after work tonight!


Update: Courtesy of a coworker

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Recipe For paleoWallbangers

By Popular Request.


A citrus soda:

Diet for the diabetically inclined. Squirt, Sprite, 7Up also work.

Cheap-ass disgusting canadian whisky.

Find what's on sale. I guess I prefer Seagrams or Windsor, but they are top end stuff. (For CADCW.)

Follow closely:

In one (1) large glass (I prefer the 2011 edition Minnesota State Fair Holographic Goldy Gopher 32oz Refillable plastic), add 4 ice cubes (from local sparkling water, preferably origami-ed into something cool, like an albatross, or Darth Vader {Not whiny ass bitch Anakin. Darth Fucking Vader. And by the way, so, Luke went to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. Means that since what's-her-nuts, Anakin's mother, Zoidberg or some such, was never married, that they were Anakin's brother or sister, or in Alabama, both. Now Zoidberg was a slave chick, so how were Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru/Both not also slaves? And, since teh happy couple were moisture farmers on Tatooine, with enough money to give whiny ass bitch Luke a car, why couldn't they have bought back Zoidberg, I mean, their house had to have terrible issues with sand being tracked in. What I'm saying is, fuck that noise. Darth Vader. Or an albatross.})

Add 4-6 fingers of whisky.

Add 4-6 fingers of soda.

Now, very important. Add 4-6 fingers of whisky.

Drink until you have heartburn.

Every couple months, buy something drinkable. Prepare to lash out a couple quid.

Happy imbibing y'all!

If one should question my taste in mixed drinks, take into account that I am diabetic, and having a good beer, my real preference, is a rare event. If one should question my taste in whiskeys, you're wrong. The Jameson's Special Reserve is mighty, and the whole Glen Morangie family is bottled orgasm. (Anticipating the jokes, hush it.)

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Since I Suck At Bloggism, I'll Just Do A Packer Game Live-Thingy

When I went to get lunch for the wife and I, the MN 'Queens - Cincy Bengals game was over and Twin Cities sportstalk was already gleefully giving up on the decade,

Best one?
"I just don't think Leslie Frazier has the tools to be a head coach." Holy damn Hannah, every dog in North America heard that whistle. Jesus, dude. Wonder if he watches Duck Dynasty?

OK, teh Pack.

I've been very much on the side of the fence wherein Dom Capers, Defensive Coord of the Packers, should be stoned, whether or not anyone says Jehovah, but I have also happily heaped blame on the defensive players, especially the secondary, for being completely incompetent. And I stand by that, but shit, that first Pittsburgh series we were not in a proper set for a single play, the punt due to weather as much as anything.

And I want to have Eddie Lacy's children - before anyone gets too torn up in the biological unneccessities of it, I'll adopt 'em. Boykin's too - SIX!!

Anyone reading? Bring it.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Guillotines Get Lazy When Not Used

Listening to Thom Hartmann today, when a caller expressed the wish that the Walmart protestors would gather at the homes of the Walton heirs, with a family worth (Sept. 2013) of $144B.

Mr. Hartmann, who I enjoy and respect 99% of the time (occasionally he gets a touch homeopathic, which, even as generally lunatic as I am, I don't buy), suggested that the Waltons attempt to stay out of the public eye and be quiet billionaires makes them non-combatants, unlike the Koch brothers. He suggested, in a philosophically consistent sense, and he's probably correct in an ethical sense, that change should and can only really be achieved by becoming active in the political process.

Where I strongly disagree is that the Walton heirs are non-combatants.

They are not sitting in their living rooms playing GTA V and only hearing about Walmart business practices or lobbying activities if they happen to surf past Free-Speech TV.

They could tell their lobbyists or the Walmart board "ya know, hey, we are being kinda peanutheady here, let's give everyone a raise and insurance, and close on Thanksgiving."

They don't. They won't.

Fuck 'non-combatant'. They are fair game.

The right-wing scum protest (and gleefully kill) at the homes of doctors who provide abortions. They check the countertops of children with needs ("hey, you got granite? Die please!"). They fight like wolverines to prevent people who just aren't quite... ummm... worthy?... no, wait, poor!, from getting access to doctors.

A lawn bowling and cliffotine party couldn't happen to a more deserving group of people.

Friday, November 29, 2013

I Thank FSM For Dickweeds, Without Which My Postings Be Fewer

The Liberty Counsel, a frothingly anti-gay Xtian organization, has released a movie, Uncommon, starring former CHiP Erik Estrada (I was always partial to the other dude. No, the other dude).

Via Raw Story:

According to its IMDB.com page, “Uncommon” will depict students at fictional Rosewood High School as they work to create their own theater, music and dance departments after they are eliminated due to budget cuts.
“Struggling to find the right script, music and choreography the students get advice from an uncommon source: the Bible,” writes Daniel Bowden on IMDB.
Liberty Counsel sees within this a legal framework defending Xtian terrorism-er-prozelytization -

My terms a little harsh? Kids can pray all they like - any chance of a snow day would have me pleading with heaven by 3AM. It's when adults, authority figures, start trying to fuck with kid's heads, regardless of what the kids or parents think, that I go looking for pointy thingies.

- framework defending Xtian terrorism-er-prozelytization in the public schools.

Dear Liberty Counsel,

Hello! Fuck you!

  • Aren't all y'all the ones primarily pushing for those cuts in arts programs, and schools in general?
  • Aren't the kids in the arts programs all into the Glee and the Eurythmics and the other gay things?
  • Public schools? What happened to homeschooling, the greatest, Glee-est thing ever, because as we know Einstein went to public school and it took him years to figure out who he was related to?
Love, paleo

I'm Coming Out

My dear, dear, internet friends, I can't live this facade any longer. I have very much to tell you something, and please listen, even if it is hard to fathom...

I'm, ummm... a Finnie.

I've known since I was little, and had a goldfish, and we understood each other, even as I did not understand myself, what I was, and even as he (she? I was young) tried to lead me through the early stages of finding myself, finding my fin-sona, finding my school.

I am Aragorn, a black crappie. My name in the language of my tribe means 'wettest among the swimmers'.

My wife is processing. She understands now why I needed the boat, why she keeps finding scales in the blankets, why Jeremy Wade is my sworn enemy, why I get so distracted in bait shops.

Please try to realize that I am me, and reality is what is.

Ia, Ia fthagn, may your minnows be hookless.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Dear dozen of readers,

Thanks for putting up with my nonsense!

A little further nonsense...

ps: Please, do not shop until 9:00 am tomorrow. The other half of this Black Friday/Thursday nonsense is that the fucking stores will be packed - we have to stop.

I would be very thankful if someone were to locate a man named Dom Capers. He is, or better be, the former defensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers. When you find him, beat his ass in a humorous way. Drop a safe on him. Tie him to a train track. Both. I'm not partial.



Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Sweetie Drew The Short Straw

...and is getting ready for me to take her to jury duty.

I was given notice once, when I was living nort' of the Twin Cities, although there was no bench call, and after calling in every night for a week, I never had to go. (I was on a layoff, so it would not have been a problem, I stayed home for another week before taking a call back in North Dakota - coal plant in November? Give me the courtroom.)

Sweetie sits on the bench in downtown St. Paul - ugh. She has her magic backpack o' crafts, but still. She would like to be on a trial, something to mark down on life's bucket list. (My list includes some work - I've done a lot of things, but I always wanted to be a gravedigger, just for a day, just for the list. Of course, now they do it with a backhoe.) And I'd be okay with it, unless she went into a long sequester (I adore my frakkin wife and don't get to see her enough as it is), more power to her.

Myself, I wouldn't lie during the jury selection process, or try to get out of serving. Yet, somehow I don't think I'd make the trial.

DA: "Juror 80081E5, can you be a fair juror?
paleo: "I can and will, I'm reasonably intelligent, certainly opinionated but I like truth."
DA: "Do you have any issues with the American legal system?"
paleo: "Yes."
DA: "Such as?"
paleo: "Well, I hate you."
DA: "Pardon me?"
paleo: "You are the scum of the earth. I hate you and probably don't like your family."
facing Judge: "You too. Also, all cops are high school thugs who found a profession allowing them to remain bullies and dickweeds."
to defense attorney, currently grinning like a monkey: "Back it down there, cap'n, I hate you as well. I most likely hate your client."
paleo: "Of course! I don't have a dog in the race."

Friday, November 22, 2013

Morning Has Broken, I May Have Used A Hammer

Walkies for Jackson at Stupid:00AM. Oh well, he needs to explore and run around and whirl me like a dervish.

(Traffic on teh road is confuzzled. Large german person wearing a road vest, headlamp, otherwise all in black 'cuz it's how I roll. Black dog, with an LED that changes colors on his collar, the better to find the lil' punk at night. Both spinning like a cheap discoball.)

Route is taking us past a cemetery. Lots of grass along the road and outside the fence for upon which he may poop. But, he doesn't like that side of the road. Not necessarily avoiding the dead files cabinet, but definitely not interested in walking there. Hmm.

Now, I'm a reasonable man, MacArthur. So I know this isn't...*

Oh wait. I'm a weirdo. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON!!!!


Per my Sweetie: Cliff, Bobo, Lesbo, Creepo


Thursday, November 21, 2013

My Soul Is Trying To Strangle Me - Must Defend Martin Bashir. And Yell At The Dumbass.

... obviously, I'm not a fan. But.

Human Genome Project outlier Sarah "I was governor for a whole half-term and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" Palin

dispensed a bit of wisdom teh other day, something along the lines of (and I paraphrase):

"the Obamacare death panels have already killed many free Americans who love their being part of this great God-given us the so many ways to worship Jesus, all the ways and churches that love this country, real Americans, not the elites who want to tell us, with debt and sending people to the wrong doctor and giving out mammograms to men with abortions and free birth control, Obamaphones and videogames, and it's just like the democrat institute of slavery"

Mr. Bashir then related the story of one practice of slavery, called 'Darby's Dose', involving defecation and urination into a slave's mouth.

Sarah Palin has compared trying to get people access to health care, and the application of classical Keynesian econ, which has, historically, usually been successful, sort of, but not quite, similar to the way that austerity has always failed, to slavery. It is perfectly reasonable, since she is such a victim of slavery, to give her the full monty. Also, she's a twat, but that is merely an identifying characteristic and not directly related to the Bashir issue.

Now, Bashir has gone on an apology tour. (I have mentioned I'm not a fan.) 

Dear Marty, 
You were right. Shut up. 
Love, paleo

Also, today on the radio, Hannity, skipping a little thing called context, accused Bashir of having a fecal obsession. 

Dear Sean, 
Darby's Dose was an invention of the Confederacy. You know, the people you laud as true patriots. The Rebs. Treason In Defense Of Slavery. 
Hell, I'll even do you the honor of not accusing you of being a genocidal maniac. I suspect you'd be happy owning slaves of any color.
May your appendix get ambitious, rip it's way out of your chest cavity, throttle you very slowly watching the pure light of fascism choke out in your eyes, and be declared Most Heroic Amongst The Peoples.  
Love, paleo

Monday, November 18, 2013

Climate Change Denial Isn't Just A Hobby, I'm A Member

So, listening to sports talk on the way home from work (no judging. The only antidote to remembering how bad the Packers were yesterday is listening to Twin Cities media call their team a squad of nun-beaters.)

Local Limbaugh wannabee and suspected serial egg-plant buggerer (it would be irresponsible not to speculate) Joe Soucheray was laying down a groove, troof about the Vikings, and the subject turned to the Bears-Ravens game, and other slightly more important news from yesterday.

Joe said, para, that tornadoes happen, and that the only reason people notice them nowadays is that people are living in areas that used to have tornadoes go through and they would just kill a rabbit maybe. His co-host, an old sportswriter named Patrick Reusse (who's actually alright, his choice of friends notwithtatnding), brought him in from the ledge a bit, and eventually they settled on "Well, it's not unheard of."

Dear Mr. Souchoreilly,

People have been living in Chicago for a bit. Cincinnati? Not exactly the wild frontier. Washington IL, F4, pretty flattened. Been around a while, did a bit of good in this skirmish called World War II. F3, Paducah, Kentucky. Some horses ain't'nt come down yet. 20 city blocks on the Natl. Registry of Historic Places. Tornado touched down at a uranium enrichment plant, and by pure luck, no releases. Check out The Weather Channel for more.

You know what? No, Joey, get your hand out of the vegetable patch and listen, goddammit. Yeah, sometimes tornadoes do happen, sometimes out of nowhere. Snownadoes. Sharknadoes even. 
12+ of the rotten bastards in middle damn November?!?!
Someone may have noted that. Just saying.

What will it take for you to realize, stuff is not exactly right?

Sunday, November 17, 2013

World, There Is Someone I'd Like You To Meet

I haven't been out much for a few weeks, just basically keeping up on teh news. One of the primary reasons is so, so-o-o-o-o very awesome...

World, Jackson. Jackson, world.

Jackson is a 3 mo.+, 25 # black lab (and ?). He is the mostest enthusiastic thing on earth right now. He had a cone when we first picked him up, due to recent work that I am sure he will forgive the fostering agency for someday.

We didn't necessarily introduce him to the cats in the right way. He came in the door, cone on head, saying


The punkboy cat, not entirely feeling the scene, freaked, and is only now starting to remember that, hey, his house. I honestly hope for punkboy Milo to slap the dog around once, just to establish the pecking order, and I don't believe the dog gives a damn anyhow. I just worry about my cats...

The other cat, Queen Diva Maisy, is usually the skittish one, incredibly so. Her reaction to her new brother has been atypical, I think in part because Jackson seems to pay not the slightest bit of attention to the cats. Basically, she looked down, said "What fresh version of Hell is this? Meh." and continued on with her business, that of getting fed and skritched.

The cone came off Friday night, and yesterday was playday. Today, we start some basic training, primarily 'come here' and gotta work on the jumping, he is big enought and heavy enough that my happy boy parts have retreated into my abdomen for the duration, and I'm pretty sure the 'lil puppy' nearly gave me a black eye on Friday.

Jacks will be an occasional visitor to my little bloggy home, he's very friendly, no table scraps, please!

One thing, thank FSM for no-kill shelters and fostering agencies, but good lord did they put us through a wringer. And we ain'tn't teh only ones - our vet just got a dog though a fostering agency, our VET, and he went through the same thing, quizzes, home inspections, cavity search.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Live Blogging - Packers Vs Bears Suck

So. The Chicago Bears show their face at Lambeau. The team with the most convictions in the NFL, save Richie Incognito, already being picked apart. Honey, where is it teh pizza?

Monday, October 28, 2013

I've Never Seen This - Freakin' Cool

Went with the Brother-In-Law to the Minnesota-Nebraska game (he's a Husker), I didn't have a dog in the race but I figgered I best accompany him lest he gets in a fight with, ummm, Minnesota.

You may have seen the report on ESPN. It was a curbstomping...for Nebraska. #24 BCS Nebraska. Never in  the game, really, teh Gophers man-handled 'em, 34-23 and it was not that close. So congratulations Minnesota!

But for my part, for this post, I have never seen this live - the students charging the field:

It really was that damn cool. I'm no longer ahemcoughsnerkcollegeage, but the parties that night had to be something! Sigh...

Sunday, October 20, 2013

In Other Shocking Football News,

As do the Lions and the Washington Racistnames.

The Vikings are starting their third quarterback in a month. And their savior this week is Josh Freeman, who got hisself run out of Tampa. Doesn't matter if you agree with whatever he was complaining about there, pro football coaches are second only to college football coaches and Jozef Stalin in dictatorial powers, so I 'spect he ain't their answer.

To which I say

Meanwhile, we play Cleveland, who, while much improved, are a project team. And we need some damn healing. Here's hoping!

Competition For Peckerhead Of The Year Is Over

I don't remember my earlier nominees for this year and won't be arsed to look them up...

Because we have an all time winner! (via RWW)

In an already psychotic interview with lil' Ricky Scarborough, Little Peter LaBarbera, wherein in it was discussed, hoo boy, that it would be a fine tactic to file a lawsuit against Gay, Petey said this:

LaBarbera: Yeah I think that’s great. I would love to see it. We always wanted to see one of the kid in high school who was counseled by the official school counselor to just be gay, then he comes down with HIV. But we never really got the client for that. 
Emphases mine. Stupidity his.

Jumpin Jack Christ, you fucking sickball! "It would be so helpful if someone would die and we could use them! W00T!!!1!"

I always wanted to see the Values Voter Summit and the next Teabagger gather of any size finding themselves at the heart of a rather surprised spontaneous black hole. But I never really got the entertainment from that.

(Updated per suggestion, and all enormous credit (and apologies for theftery) to Mr. McGravitas)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Open Letter To AM 950, MN's Progressive Radio

I listened to my usual radio show this morning on the way to work, The Morning Grind with Matt McNeil.

He entertained a caller named Alex, who claimed to be a true independent. Among the viewpoint espoused by our one true independent was that (para) "I blame the republicans, but Obama lost me when he would not come to the table when the republicans proposed to fund a few things. That's like, if you are trying to free hostages and the hostage takers are willing to release a few, and you demand they keep all of them or release all of them, and Obama is being a real bad person by not releasing those few hostages."

Matt McNeil then pointed out, correctly, that the republicans, if allowed to fund the few things they like, would then allow the rest of government to die, and fuck anyone who gets hurt, they got theirs, or at least the blahs won't get anything, or something. Benghazi.

Matt then had a caller named Jeff, who, after implying that Alex was as dumb as a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory*, objected to the analogy of 'hostages', with which Matt agreed, stating that it was in poor taste and minimized true hostage situation. I took pen to computer screen and wrote and yelled my objections to the comment line. Sweetie then informed me that I was an idiot and demonstrated a thing called typing. Please to contemplate:
Mr. McNeil, Mr. Wonderful,

In reference to caller Alex (and I would doubt he is a true independent, sounded like a libertarian, a conservative republican that likes marijuana and consequence-free-for-the-man sex), Matt and Jeff said that the "hostage" was a poor analogy, and not appropriately respectful to true hostage situations, "which are truly ugly" (para).

I, instead, believe the hostage analogy is truly apt, and this is ugly. Lives are at risk.
  • Women and children needing the pittance the govt allows them in food aid to make it through the day
  • The FDA - anyone eating chicken in California today?
  • All sorts of health research
  • OSHA and workplace safety
A better hostage analogy would be:

The republicans have taken the hostages (government services rated non-essential). The republicans offer to let a handful of hostages, that they either like or find politically useful (WW2memorialgate-wtf-omg, fund the full Defense budget, VA Benefits) go, in exchange for another hostage (the ACA), and then machine gun the rest of the hostages (the aforemention WIC, FDA, OSHA, CDC, ACA, Justice Dept., Commerce Dept., Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security), causing untold suffering for a helluva lot of people, except for, and I was shocked to reach this conclusion, rich white guys.

The Teahadis are that bad.

Love, paleotectonics

Is that fair? Am I making a reasonable argument?

*Watch now plz.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Long Weekend Wrap-up

Dum-de-dum-boing-boing, successful preventive maintenance, Packers won decisively if not prettily, oh, and this...

Camping at Split Rock, North Shore, MN. The lil' erection nubbins on the left is Split Rock Lighthouse. Perfect weather (while we were there, the in-laws caught 47 different degrees of hell the nights before we got there), we brought enough food and gear to invade Canada (or any other country with a reasonably sane government), needed it, but needed it a lot longer.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Quotes Of The Day

From Business Insider.

Hey, don't mock it, the editor got kicked out of Wall Street by the SEC - clearly an expert on the markets.
The WSJ summarizes the situation best:
"I haven't seen morale this bad since the Titanic," said Richard Stein, a senior recruiter at Caldwell Partners CWL.T -3.41% who specializes in financial services.
First off, the fella is remarkably well preserved, 1912, 2013, has vivid memory of the Titanic, I'd say at least, 113 years old. He could be talking about the film, I guess (no spoilers - I haven't seen it. Oh, wait, not gonna.)
And if bankers are not happy, nobody else will be (here's looking at you dear perpetual banker bailout ATM known as US taxpayers).
Analysts are scrambling to ratchet down earnings estimates ahead of the reports. J.P.Morgan and Wells Fargo are slated to post results on Oct. 11, with Citigroup Inc., Bank of America Corp., Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs Group Inc. due to weigh in the following week.
Poor results could prompt additional job cuts and worsen the already downcast mood on Wall Street, bankers and recruiters said. ... Mr. Stein, the recruiter, said he received 100% more calls in August and September than in the same months in 2012 from disgruntled traders in fixed income, currencies and commodities at big banks looking to switch firms. "There's no opportunity to make any money right now," he said. "Nothing is happening." ...
(Following quote, emphasis by paleo.) 
Finally, since a dropping bonus check tide will reduce all compensation packages across all levels, it means more disgruntled bankers, less discretionary income for the wealthiest, even less taxes paid into city, state and Federal coffers, less consumption and more saving, and an end to America's deficit-cutting miracle and certainly and (sic) end to the days of barely even stall speed GDP.
Boy oh boy can I fix. 

I'd say the subhuman scumbags deserve everything they get, tried, jailed, executed, dug up and executed again. Then kicked. Frequently. By every person they every screwed.


Morning Vandalism (And Response To OBS)

"The Teabaggers are revolting!"
"Yeah, they stink on ice!"

PShoop credit to Mr. OBS.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Another Good Guy With A Gun Went Past The Expiration Date

Yes, I know it was a woman (with a child in the car? Jesus Christ!!?!), I just have a need to remind people that Wayne LaPierre was a waste of sperm. FALSE FLAG BENGHAZI ROSWELL!!!

That's not what I was really going after, though. It has been a horrendous few days politically. The 27% mouth-breathers have Killed Government In The Auditorium With A Bag Of Dumb, and I fully expect them to go after the credit rating as well, because if you are gonna suck a cock you may as well go for the balls.

I'm aware my language has gotten infinitely coarser of late, at least when talking politics. Don't worry too much, as a nation we are terminally fucked and my little notepad doesn't stand much chance against a collection of people who need directional signals on their Hoverrounds because the teabags covering their eyes prevent them from being human. Here's hoping for a hard flu season. Anyhow.

I try to avoid talking politics with most people, mostly because I am incapable of respecting or responding politely to republicans, and there are too many of them, ooooh, sorry, got that wrong, since 2001 as of 2009 they've mostly been Independents or Libertarians, shut up, twats, in Minnesota, but sometimes I overhear. Today's right wing memes:

The SUV driver chased down by motorcycles and beat up. Wow. Yeah, the cyclists were being shitheads. Doesn't mean you get to kill them. Oh, and "If I were that driver, I'd have had my gun and they'd have really gotten what for. And notice how the news media isn't reporting on this because they're black?" Well, you found out, brighteyes. Oh, and for the record, if the cyclists had been white and the SUV driver black, the SUV driver would have been dead as soon as a cop cleared his car door, followed by "I thought he was stealing it. And he had a gun, he must have tossed it."

The veterans at the World War II memorial, and the National Parks. This one worries me, this is gaining traction, oh-oh-oh the scary BLACK IMPOSTER found out the WWII vets were coming and closed the memorial to show them who is the head Kenyan Pimp! Fuck off, klanboy. What worries me about this meme is that if the 27% mouthbreathers can restore, piecemeal, the bits of the budget they like, and they is sho' nuff trying, screw the rest of the budget and Women, Infants, and Children can die horribly, they'll bring the Moet & Chandon.

Helluva lot of these goddamn worthless teabaggers and their goddamn worthless representatives are children of the World War II vets generation. Wonder if those guys, quietly serving, coming home and building a middle class, in a large part through government money, realized their children would be rabid braindead fucks?

Monday, September 30, 2013

A Couple Of Letters Home

Just wanted to share...

July 31, 2013
Hey folks! 
Thanks for the birthday card, and this weekend Sweetie and I are taking a little weekend up north, we'll use the gift cert for dinner one night. I adore my wife. 
We're doing good here - progress is always slow on the damn house, but it is cheery and stuff, we quibble over things but ever onward. Teh kitties are adorable, the brother-in-law less so but it's cool to have him around. Just had the Neighborhood Night Out, met a bunch of new neighbors, nice people, bring some youth and the pitter-patter of feet between it appears 3 and 15 years oldish. You know I think kids are great, I have a nice big lawn.
You know me, Mr. Big  Liberal, but I'm excited, we're excited, MN Marriage Equality starts at midnight, v. cool... 
We love y'all, take care of yerselves and we'll see you in a couple weeks, 
Love, paleo, Sweetie, Diva Bitch Cat and Punkboy

Sept. 30, 2013
Hope you're alright - I hear they are getting food trucks out to the smaller cities. Mom would have wanted you to eat. 
Things have settled down a little here. I managed to dispose of my brother-in-law, lucky I was sleeping with the gun under my pillow, who knows what he would have done had he caught me by surprise, but with the morgues and cemeteries overflowing I had to get creative. 
It was hard enough with sweetie leaving, but I was just questioned yesterday by agents from the North Shore Provisional People's Council - she and a person known only as Pat are the primary suspects in a series of church flagellations up by Ely. I called the couples next door, and they all called their other significant others, and when faced with that much queeritude they backed off, but then Roald up the street opened up in our general direction and it turned into a brief exchange before the agents headed to a friendly house. Gov. Dayton's Air Force dealt with them with extreme prejudice. The neighborhood has settled into smoldering peace of a sort. 
If the lake cools, I may go fishing. 
No one listened to Cassandra. The man across the street has declared Rastafarian Law and tried to sell me livestock. The cats chewed through the screen door and there are no birds or squirrels left, and actually, thinking about it, I haven't seen the fox kits that had been under the neighbor's shed. What have we done... 
I may head for you, if you can vouch for me at the border. I'll have to fluff it up a bit to make it through the Metro, so excuse the make-up when I see you.  
Watch out, bud.

This parody inspired by this delightful bit of loonacy. And Green Eggs and Ham. 

That's right! A very generous MFC supporter has agreed to a very generous matching gift, so every dollar you give to help MFC will be DOUBLED up to $10,000, from now through September 30th.

Why? They understand that our religious liberties that have been under attack for many years were further stripped away on August 1st, when same-sex “marriage” became law without any significant religious liberty protections.
Your gift of $25, $50, $100 or more to MFC will be doubled from now through midnight, Monday night, September 30th.

Note: There are more African Americans in this plea for funds then there are in the entire organization.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Culture Is My Beat

The finale of Broadchurch  and the 2009 film Strigoi. 

I'll start with Strigoi, available on Netflix, an indie film, (heavily accented) English language. A Strigoi* is a Romanian creature, part ghost, part demon, part vampire, part zombie, part every-other-damnable-bad-thingy, and one of the inspirations for Dracula by Bram Stoker. The film is a comedy-horror, focusing primarily on Constantin, a young villager, a failed physician, frighteningly addicted to cigarettes, who has returned from abroad after trying to make his way out into the world. The villagers have recently murdered a former apparatchik, who made himself rich by hook and crook, led by the mayor and priest, who want to solidify their own positions and keep their own cuts, and stuff doesn't exactly work the way they planned.

The movie does not move quickly. Constantin is followed, surrounded by assorted old world madness that he refuses to see. Eventually, he does what he has to, still not entirely sure of himself or the reality of what he's doing. 

It drew me in. Constantin is not much of a hero - in fact, he is treated poorly by all - just plods along, occasionally attempting to assert himself, never successfully. He does eventually win, more or less. I don't know why it pulled me in - Sweetie was somewhat less than impressed, I was just looking and waiting for what was next in line for the poor bastard.

I really did enjoy it, but I suspect I'm not typical audience, ie., Michael Bay should be beaten with a bag full of small thermonuclear weapons.

*The myths are broadly defined, differing slightly on a regional basis, and not really important to know for reviewing the film.

Oh, Broadchurch.  Broadchurch Broadchurch Broadchurch. Sweetie and I looked so forward to the denouement. I obviously can't deny it - I would not typically watch either a drama or police procedural without an additional draw, in this case, spot the Doctor Who actor. But after three episodes, we were very much in a state of, Is This Going Anywhere. Then one evening, purely by accident and On-Demand, we watched eps 4-6, then the next night 7, and then loudly cursed BBCAmerica for waiting a week for the last episode, we was wired.

Then, we got screwed with our pants on. And not in the good - wait, analogy fail.

Look, no spoilers, but the murderer was a bit of an asspull. The psychic dude - WTF. He gave nothing to the series, except for supposedly being, um, vindicated? Believed? Annoying?

There is a series 2 coming out, I suspect they have set up Tennant's character, DI Hardy, to not return, although the setting will remain the village of Broadchurch and at least a couple main characters are confirmed as returning. Please do better.

Dear Jesus, Please Let People Die Of Treatable Shit, I'll Just Blame The Dirty Messicans Anyhow

Seriously, for chrissakes, this woman is dumber than a sack of rotten grapefruit.

“You know who shows up,” Blitzer pressed after Bachmann said her oldest son is a physician. “These are people who don’t have health insurance, and we take care of them.”“Quite often it’s illegal aliens,” Bachmann responded. “Illegal aliens show up, so we the American taxpayer are picking up the tab for people who aren’t American citizens.”
Stupid fucking tool.

I went to emergency rooms any number of times during the years I went without insurance, often well after any long-term damage was already done, but I was tired of coughing/puking, which at that point would have stopped on its own within a few days. You know, the reason primary care physicians exist, and why everyone should have one, and why don't we have BLEEDIN' SINGLE PAYER?

Fucking Evil. Acid Eyes, and the Pubbies, and their merry band of scrotum suckers, are bloodthirsty fucking monsters.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Christ, I Seriously Can't Take Any More Fucking Gun Bullshit

An exchange in comments with a libertarian. I think I may hate libertoonians more than I hate republicans.
Nothing makes the party of life happier than death. They all need to be lobotomized - I ain't kidding. I fucking hate them, all of them. Anyone who has ever even looked at the R side of the ballot and did not immediately plunge an icepick into their own eyesocket is a useless fuck.

      • Steven Skelton
        The most important thing to do now is for everyone to blame their political opponents before anyone has any idea what happened.

        paleotectonics to Steven Skelton
        Tell you what - I won't blame your party. I'll just blame all cowardly gun fetishists with their 9mm penis replacements.

        Fuck all of them, fuck all guns, fuck the group of people (note: not specifying the party ) who love spilt blood. Fuck this.

        Steven Skelton to paleotectonics
        It saddens me that you think there are people who love spilt blood.

        Every gun owner I know hopes that they will never have to shoot another human being.

        Granted, I don't know all of them....but nonetheless..

        Schneibster to Steven Skelton

        How many is that, twelve or so?

        Do you know what "systematic bias" is?

        paleotectonics to Schneibster
        Nicely played, cap'n. Thanks.

        paleotectonics to Steven Skelton
        Aw, gee, your concern warms the cockles of my heart, or maybe my pancreas, I'm not a internist, just I know its something that would bleed me out if someone shot it.

        Every gun owner I know hopes that they will never have to shoot another human being until someone really needs killing, then, WHOOOEEEE!

        12 people, you monster. 12 FUCKING PEOPLE just off doing their jobs, but because you can't get hard without inhaling cordite, oh well!