Sunday Surrealism

Loves me some Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister!)

And Helllooooooo, Nurse!

I Need To Invest With This Guy

Think Progress ran a little blurb on steps Ireland is taking to save people's homes.

Down in the comments was this little gem:

clithunt69 (signed in using yahoo)If it is a Fannie or Freddy loan I don't see the problem in reducing the principal. However a moral hazard exists down the road if real estate makes significant gains in a short period of time and the home owner decides to sell at a tidy profit and move to Ecuador.

Let us, in the spirit of x-tian charity, ignore most of the reasons this person is dumb. (Except, Ecuador? Really? I don't even what the.)

However, mister clithunt69, if that is your real name, I must ask a question in a short statement.

Emailing Mom.

Elaborate? Sure, no worries.

From: clithunt69@yahoo.whatever
To: Mom@geocities.com; Grandma_Margaret@littlebiddy.net
CC:
Subject: FW: Christmas Party

Dear Momma and Gammy, thanks for the socks they our great, I love you to so much!
Love, Clit

Please 'splain? I'm rapt with attention...

Vignette From Supper With My Wife

This is a cocktail.

Quite good, made by Sweetie, with love.

CC and Diet Dew.

paleo learned, amidst Sweetie's larfs, that a chopstick, used as a mixer stick, works less well as a straw.

Dammit.

The Minnesota Queer Haters Have Gone Full Timecube

Minnesotans-United-to-Persecute-Immoral-Creatures-Who-Have-Better-Taste-In-Clothing, Music, Food, And-Whatever-Else-Those-Five-TV-Guys-Are-Teaching-Our-Children-Along-With-Probably-Butt-Chugging have an associate called The Cassandra Report, sending me long emails, devoid of HTML, basically just word docs, encouraging us to pray that all GLBT either find Jesus, Marcus Bachmann, or burn in hell.

Ahhh, xtian charity.

This little smidget was the latest release:

The consequences of marriage are reflected in the fact that children in average, intact, married families are more likely to thrive(2) than children in average single and step-parent families, or families headed by cohabiting couples. In fact communities where “good-enough” marriages are common have better outcomes for children, women, and men than do communities marked by high rates of divorce(3), unmarried childbearing, cohabitation(4), and high-conflict or violent marriages. Moreover, these benefits derived from a strong marriage culture extend across lines of race, ethnicity, and class. Marriage,  it seems, has important positive biosocial consequences for both adults and children(5).

What. The. Blithering. Hell. Are. You. Arguing?

Let us explore just one glaring idiocy, correlation and causality. Perhaps it may be easier to be married, have teh 'traditional' life, IF YOU"RE NOT SO DAMNABLY STRESSED TRYING TO SURVIVE EACH DAY. Education! Jobs! Nutrition! A safe bed at night!

Whoops, sorry, the paleosocialist leapt out there for a moment, let me cure him.

"I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you. I got mine fuck you."

Better now.

John Helmberger from Minnesotans United In Peeing Themselves followed shortly with a letter about the dreadful consequences of same-sex marriage in Canada.
Shorter:

Gay Canadians are getting married and being treated with basic human respect, and an archbishop had his fee-fees hurt.

If'n you want, take a look at the whole bloody stupid Cassandra thingy after the jump. Ya gots yer $16 words (inflation), quotes from unknown philosophers and such, and I'll be damned if I can find a single argument against gay marriage (not that I've been able to yet.) This is a giant pile of cherry-picked statistics, mixed correlation and causality, and the writer either needs to get on drugs, change drugs, or get off drugs. Pick one, Slappy, lemme know how it goes, as I'm sure you will.

Geek-Gasm 2, Teh Coleco Boogaloo

From the Oct. 6 football game between Ohio State* and Nebraska*, by the OSU marching band:



It should be noted that this is awesome, and a thing in the history of history! To wit, ya gots yer marching band. Old-school video games. Yay and stuff!!!

*Important note regarding college football. OSU and Nebraska are two Big Ten teams, Nebraska as of recently. Both teams and states have histories of turning out serial penguin molesters and country musicians, along with Michigan and Michigan State, and as such should not only be removed from the Big Ten, but from the rolls of NCAA history. Illinois, Purdue, Indiana, Iowa, wevs. Northwestern deserves respect because they have for years actually produced student athletes. Minnesota will never amount to anything. Penn State should be burned to the ground, ploughed under, the earth salted, then jumped on. Rinse and repeat.

Note From The Editors

paleo was busy at home and could not come to school for teh last two weeks. We are soryy. We will make him turn in his homework every couple days from now on.

love, paleo's mother

Blinders On High!

I refuse to make a link to these screwballs. From Minnesotans United Against Any-Sexual-Activity-Not-Endorsed-By-Barbara-Bush*:

Marriage Minute: The Slippery Slope When Marriage Is Redefined
Same-sex marriage activists would like everyone to believe marriage can be redefined with no impact on society. This is not true. Traditional marriage would not exist alongside same-sex “marriage.” The new genderless “marriage” would replace our current definition. Redefining marriage puts us on a slippery slope of change, much of it fueled by the demands of same-sex marriage activists.

Redefining marriage. By FSM, that makes so much sense! I've been on the wrong side all along!

• Biblically - if a man dies, his brother must marry his widow! If Sarai can't have children, rape Hagar! And per St. Paul, you chicks, shut it!
• Legislatively - that whole Loving vs Virginia? Poor miscegenating peckernecks, messing with teh natural order of things - White Protestant land-owners, their carefully cultivated and debutted white women, tobacco farmers, random pieces of green paper, everyone else.
• Culturally - Purity Balls and Rings! (Fair warning, following this link may cause brain damage that bleach and prefrontal lobotomies, or this bottle in front of me, can't reach. It's been around for a bit, but still creeps me out mightily, just sick!)

Look, you dumb bastards, that is a complete bullshit statement, 'definition of marriage'. Marriage today is wildly different from just 50 years ago, and unrecognizable from 100 years ago. You horrible, rotten jackasses - you know damn well that this is not about the 'definition of marriage', it is about your fear that if it becomes legal, YOU will immediately be overcome with the desire to present ass. For that matter, the forced birth people don't give a shit about the babbies - note their constant shrieking pleas to give mothers pre-natal care, and then properly fund education? Neither did I. It is about their fears, and their need to follow, and their desire to control people. Hell, the x-tians don't even really give a damn about Islam, they admire the moslem strawman they've built. Veils, stonings - Jerry Falwell is masturbating in hell. But it's those funny names, too many syllables, not something strong, like Dick, or Strom.

Damn, these pricks make me want to puke! I gotta get off that mailing list before I have an aneurysm. Any Minnesotans reading this please contribute and then Vote No, and sip on the salty tears of teh morons. Non-Minnesotans? Please contribute and rail on any MN family you have.

I am sick to my soul... {/rant}

*They don't know how much wiggle room that actually gives them - Babsie was teh O.D., the Original Dominatrix**.

**Brain Bleach is on me! Please redeem your coupons at Dr. Paleo's Pre-Frontal Lobotomies For Less! Now with two locations! Or at least, paleo seeing double! S'okay, ya got two lobes!