Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I Have Now Officially Taken W-A-A-A-A-Y-Y-Y Too Much Painkillers

And not merely because I have no realistic shot at correcting the grammar in the post title, and don't particularly give a wossname.

Animal Planet. About animals, and (this?) planet.

Long special program, about a theory that a bunch of, ummm, venerable theorists, within the scientific community, are proposing. The great sea-ape. The - let me back up a second.

To reiterate again, regardless of the fact that I haz a fuggited-up due to a lack of tolerance for painkillers, I believe in all sorts of bullshit. Mothmen. Poultrygeists. Hopkinsville Goblins.

The Merfolk. Apes adapted to living in the sea. Cavorting with dolphins. Hunting sharks. Boinking sailors.

NO. BUGGER OFF.

"A lone hunter scouts ahead of it's pod." Direct quote, BTW.

HUSH.

We are doomed as a species...

UPDATE: Oh dear sweet Buddha. The 'speculative dramatizations', otherwise known as cheapass Flash, is truly the dumbest shit in the history of cheapass dumb shit - one Merman, to protect the baybeeeezz from giant sharks, cuts hisself  and swims away, leading the shark, the size of a random huge honking sea-critter, away from the, let's call them snorks - baby Merwhatsits, away from the snorks and then becoming a Texas Rig.

Doomed, says I.

15 comments:

  1. Um, does Catholic doctrine accept them as fish so it's OK to eat them during Lent?
    Asking for a friend.

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    Replies
    1. Well, the documentary showed 'em breathing out bubbles. Now, to follow this train of thought. Where else do you see bubbles? In swamps, made by decomposing trees. Therefore, great sea-apes made of wood, and as such are Lent-friendly, and damned useful on Ash Wednesday, provided they are dried enough.

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    2. So ...because they are made ..of wood....

      A WITCH!! A WITCH!!!

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    3. You can eat them, drives them wild, as a matter of fact.

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    4. And we've reached fishie-lingus.

      Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be here all week.

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  2. Wait, Bigfeet is OK but Aquaman is beyond the pale?

    Let's just get into Area 51 and mikey can stop by to tell us all that FTL travel will never ever happen.

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    Replies
    1. Relevant.

      Bigfoot saved Steve Austin and McGyver. What did Aquaman ever do - sonar? SO DID HITLER. I win, ppbbllffftt!

      As far as FTL, I'd be inclined to agree with him except that he's wrong.

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  3. They were breathlessly hyping that Mermaid bullshit for weeks. It was a toss-up to watch that or the equally-acurate "Dinocroc vs. Megagator" documentary which was repeating on SyFy. The giant lizards won out, as they usually do.

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    Replies
    1. Nothing will ever neat MegaShark breaching and grabbing an airliner, pulling it down to a stomach-acid based death. Which still beats a cruise nowadays.

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  4. Replies
    1. You know how they use pheremones and sterile males to kill off pest populations of insects. Right now, the scientists on Planet Nebulon are working feverishly on us, possibly explaining the Kardashians. They won't get me though!

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    2. James Tiptree Jnr is WAY AHEAD of you with that plot idea.

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  5. I never have that kind of fun on pain drugs. Damn, I feel so cheated.

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