My Urinalysis Of The Orange STD's Latest Kerfuffle

Okay, so President-Elect Kompromat just got involved in Golden Shower-gate. Everyone is having either a great deal of fun or a great deal of 'Ewwww' over Drumpf's gold medal in Watersports.

I have a different tack, certainly probably not original to me, but I think I'm right.

Most are focusing on the sexual preversion angle. I don't see it that way. As I read it,

The FSB, it said, “employed a number of prostitutes to perform a golden showers (urination) show in front of him.” Not only that, according to the report’s anonymous Russian sources, Trump deliberately chose for his escapade “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”

There is a sexual subculture into urination, the terms 'watersports' and 'Golden Showers' have been around much longer than CNN or Buzzfeed. Okay, fine, whatever floats your little man in the boat, not my gig but doesn't confront me. And The Tangelo Terror is certainly a bad damn guy, alleged rapist, admitted to sexual assault. Without a doubt, he got some tittilation out of degrading eastern European women. I suddenly feel a bit bad for Malaria, her life must be absolute hell.

But that last clause:
Trump deliberately chose for his escapade “the Ritz Carlton hotel, where he knew President and Mrs. Obama (whom he hated) had stayed on one of their official trips to Russia and defiling the bed where they had slept.”

Sexual gratification was not at all his goal. This was an act of revenge, of violence, of hatred, of disrespect. It's

"I'll piss on your grave"

writ large.

This is far worse than "ohhhh, hee hee hee, Imma dirty boy, hugely bigly!" 

This is the act of a sociopath, an undisciplined spoiled child. 

As a secondary point, he is SO easily manipulated, manipulable. And his legion of doof eats all this up. We are about to be 'led' by Damien.

Yay us. 

I Don't Even Want To Buy Charlotte Church Albums, Dammit!

Charlotte Church spit on the Shitgibbon's transition team, who approached her to sing. She responded absolutely loverly, to wit,

@realDonaldTrump Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration, a simple Internet search would show I think you're a tyrant. Bye💩💩💩💩

— Charlotte Church (@charlottechurch) January 10, 2017

Okay, so first, I have to learn to like Welsh opera. Lotta consonants, goddammit lotta consonants, something along the lines of 'La Tradyydfiatddyfyata'.

But, I must inform the writer of this link, Mr. Brad Reed, who scribed

Unlike most singers asked to perform at the inauguration, however, Church didn’t just politely turn down Trump’s request in private.

Hey, ummm, boss? For the record, she was being polite. 

The Welsh would bow only to the Scots in the creative usage of language to call you a schmuck. And then only after a long brawl.

The Orange Twerp Applies Miniature Hands To Twitter and Hoodwinks His Sycophants

The House of Representatives, at the behest on Rep. Bob Goodlatte, fresh off of inbreeding, attempted to gut an independent ethics panel. After we, The People, got involved, they held off until it could be a less visible pile of bullshit.

The Orange STD, in his chosen method of 140-character communication, called it only "not a priority". In other words, let it be a less visible pile of bullshit. (Warning - CNN, the CNN of network news, has a goddammit autoplay.)

There are those who call it Teh Shitgibbon being vaguely presidential.

DO NOT GIVE THIS SALTED PILE OF FLAMING ASSHOLES AN EVEN BREAK.

He twattered well after the deal was going down in flames. Up to that time, his people:

• Defended it vociferously because a congressional watchdog was watching the dog
• Claimed that yanking the teeth of the Ethics panel was an exercise in efficient dentistry
• (By the way, MarshaMarshaMarsha always been an goddammit demon.)
• At the same time that the Tangelo Twatwaffle injected himself very carefully into the debate because he has excellent handlers, he was McCarthying Homeland Security

Screw him with his tiny, tiny gloves on. Not my president. #MinorityPresident. Lost by 2.9 million votes. Suck a tailpipe, twerp.

This Is Malfeasance? Seriously? Hush, Stupid Person.

On New Years Eve, as the Sweetie and I watched Holidays*, CNN did some sort of broadcast that unfortunately did not involve

• sacrificing Seacrest to a shambling mound, 
• mincing him in a Magic Bullet one small part at a time
  

• anything else fun.

However, it would seem that we missed one Mr. Don Lemon, hack extraordinaire, getting his Cuervo on. And getting his ear pierced. At the behest of one Ms. Kathy Griffin, who at a minimum should be on Mt. Rushmore. He did retain some control, as apparently he mostly remained standing, and only pierced his ear, as opposed to Dremel-ing a superfluous hole in his schwanzstuckë and calling himself Prince Albert Lemon.

As 2017 casts its fate to the loonicidal bedwetting inbreds, or as I like to call them, teh Orange Shitgibbon's base, the fecal circus started with a beaut: One Soledad O'Brien decided that this little vignette was "a very low bar for credibility."

Errr. Ummm, Sole, please to be looking at links following this request:

• Reporters visit Mar-a-Lardo off the record for Rimjob Finals. Place your bets - Dancing David Gregory? Wall Street Journal?

• The man who has never answered all the questions about Lori Klausitis, and his mistress, getting their due desserts from the 13 month fluffing they gave The Syphilitic Tangelo.
• And, of course: “But it is better for the news because the ratings will be better. There is so much controversy going on with it.” This would be Lemon really upholding journalistic standards.

But a guy getting groovy, and snarky, looking for a nice guy to mack on, on TV, with Kathy Griffin, is a journalistic lowpoint?

Go 'way, now, ma'am.

*I would advise you watch as well, with a lack of chemical goodness in your bloodstream because Holy Gigafuck Jesus Bunny!

I'm Now Motivated

You may be able to tell by the rate of typing letters and suchlike that I am once again on an actual computerish widget. I have fought through the Swap of Symantec. With a single arm. Tied behind my back. And an extremely patient wife. I have located, created, forgotten, recreated 30 seconds before remembering, enough passwords to make this thing show me naked pictures of Bigfoot.

 I can once again pump out nonsense at nearly a lot more speed. So...

Dear World,

Game on.

Love,

paleo

Cheetoh Hitler Abandons Wife And Some Spawn

Couple of stories I must address, because although I am a somewhat vicious polemicist, I kinda value accuracy and fairness. Linking on a phone is difficult, but you've seen the stories about Hairpiece McSyphilis not knowing that he had to staff the White House, and that Methylsulfate was staying in New York with the youngest orange child?

Goddammit, don't make me approach defending this bewigged asshole AT ALL, but I have to say a couple things... Don't worry, there is an attack at the end, 'cuz me.

Teh Orange STD, for worse (and, unfortunately for us, better - he got elected sort of), refused to hire any of the sorts of professional political people who know about things like staffing the White House. President Obama probably did not know that either, but he had actual knowledgeable people around him who did, ie. not anyone named Omarosa.

Malaria demonstrated that she is well out of her depth - even Laura Bush, a largely apolitical woman (no, not entirely, I know), was a much more effective campaign representative for Pres. DryDrunk McOedipalComplex than Melanoma was for her husband. She, deservedly so, got blasted repeatedly. Maybe she has just recognized her limitations. Maybe she just wants to hide. Not really an option for FLOTUS, but perhaps. I don't have a great deal of sympathy, but teh human brain etc. etc.

BUT: huge anger about the child staying in NYC. Most pols put their kids in Sidwells because it is already set up and equipped for a presidential level security detail, and it is a normal situation for all the kids there. Now, we, the taxpayers, have to lash out that fantastic amount of money to do it for some private school in NYC, disrupting the hell out of everything and everybody, for a likely 5 mo. period? Fuck that. 

The Cheerleading Post

We are very close to being terminally screwed.

Yes, paleo is squeaking about the 2016 election cycle.

Briefly, let’s review. I was on Team Sanders. (Yes, you may kill me for using that phraseological construction. Please wait until I vote.) I had no particular issue with Sec’y Clinton, other than she has always seemed to be somewhat to the right of me. I didn’t expect Sen. Sanders to win, he is not nearly the politician she is (to get elected, being a competent politician is helpful, and I will not use the word ‘politician’ as a pejorative – Keith Ellison is a polished politician, as is Russ Feingold, as is President Obama. Being a bad person does not comment upon your political skills; it just says you’re a douchebag, or a ‘Ryan’), and he got stomped (yes, stomped – by 3 million primary votes, and by being nearly shut out in states that had primaries, as opposed to caucuses). However, I believed he would be invaluable in pulling the Democratic Party back to the left. In general, save the gun thing, I preferred his politics.

Sec’y Clinton won the nom, and I’m fine with that. DO NOT GET OVERCONFIDENT, but I expect her to win. I’m fine with that. Actually, learning more about her during this run (there is a Frontline biography on her, part of a special on both candidates' biographies) that shows her to be quite a remarkable person. And hearing her on the stump, and watching her on the debates, I’m content.

Trump was, remains, and will continue to be a human shitnado, assault/pedophilia/creepitude allegations or not, he’s a monster. Everyone knew this even before the recent revelations, including Malaria, but don’t cry for her, she’s getting her silver. He could be a saint around women, but every other aspect of his life STILL shows him to be a jackal. This ‘alpha-male’ shit is the fucking awful capstone, but he was never human in the first place.

Gary Johnson may be the single least informed, deliberately least curious public figure of today. Dumb as a brick. And fucking evil. Jill Stein has a coterie of assistants with metering equipment to make sure there are no aerosolized vaccines in her air supply. Evan McMullin? No. Srsly. Who in hell is Evan McMullin?

"Bloody hell, paleo, you seem almost vaguely upbeat! Why, then, would consider us to be near existential fuckitude?"

Glad you asked.

There is the obvious. The worthless hillbillies who would throw themselves in front of a train for Trump, if only so SmallHands could grab their daughters’ genitalia, ain’tn’t going gently into that good night. These people are freaks, violent, and frequently armed. They will not accept a Trump loss (“oh oh oh it was fixed by n****r Jewish sp**s who want to teach f****t evolathiesm to our white children”), they will respond in the only way they know – lashing out and trying to kill anything that scares them. With education, there is hope for their grandchildren, but a 60 year-old skinhead-in-all-but-name cannot be reasoned with.

What must be added, and is in fact the more important issue, is on the meta-level. With Sec’y Clinton having a respectable lead and a likely win by the scientific poll aggregators, I have been hearing the folks in my camp say things to the effect of ‘Okay, soon it will finally be over’.

No, it won’t soon be over.

Democracy does not end at the voting booth. And we all have to hold everyone's feet to the fire. Always. Building a civil society is a crappile of work. We must all stay involved, constantly, starting right at the local level.

Let your school board know that religion and education don't mix. Let your city council know about that needed stoplight and upgraded sewer system. Let your state rep know that MN needs statewide broadband and public transportation. Let your federal reps know that everyone on Wall Street is scum and needs to go to jail until they can be swept up and put in a dustbin. Were Sen. Sanders to have become the President, I'd be screaming at him daily about guns.

Keep pushing every day.

When you vote, go home, and say, ‘okay, done my duty’, you fail democracy. If everyone votes, goes home, and says, okay, done my duty’, democracy fails.

There are a helluva lot more people on Team Terminally Screwed (again, words do not lend themselves to goddammit Twilight-fan memes. Kill me on November 9).

Vote, you bastards. (Vote Democratic at all levels should be understood, but nevertheless, vote.) And then start calling and writing. We have emails – no more stamps, folks. Phone plans with unlimited minutes. Supporters of Sen. Sanders – he made an amazing showing. If you want the D’s to move left, take that energy and get involved. Stay involved. Run for dog-catcher, then city council, then mayor, then Congress, and keep going so I can crabass at you electronically in 10 years. I’m old and tired, and can only give some campaign money and write this nonsense to my audience of 3.1415927 individual readers, so work hard for Uncle paleo in his dotage. Please.

First, though, start with voting.