Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Candidates Respond To The Trayvon Martin Case

Mitt Romney:

“Ann and I live just like you. So when I became the watch captain of our neighborhood, I noticed, as a successful business man, that the Neighborhood Watch by my house was duplicating the efforts of my private security force. So, I laid them off. Not the watch, the neighborhood. This was a very successful move, the neighborhood is blue-collar crime free, and was good for the economy, not like the last 12 years under Obama.”

Rick Santorum:

“With a name like Trayvon, he wasn’t likely to be a Catholic bishop. And, he can no longer buy birth control.”

Newt Gingrich:

“Frankly, I’m sick of these erudite, professorial elitist traitors, trying to interpret the Constitution in a way that informs us that something should be done about some such stuff or other. There are moon colonies to be built, fellow Americans. And, frankly, I do not believe that either of these men would have been on the staff, not sure why, just a feeling, can’t put my finger on it. And for someone to attempt to take away the political high ground from me on this issue, well, that is a violation of my fundamental freedoms.”

Ron Paul:

“This is just another distraction. They are attempting to silence me, the only candidate who cares about the issues. Gold standard, no minimum wage, hoo-ha cherry soda!”*

President Barack Obama:

I gotta say, and I am not a huge fan of our centrist president (god, what I wouldn’t give for a real socialist!), but seriously, this one is simple.

*See this
Ron Paul – Bad Lip Reading:

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