Saturday, March 17, 2012

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, The Musical

Last night I fought, to a standstill anyway, a new laptop, assorted cabling, all sorts of components and fancy technology*. Work and heartache remains. I shall fight it on the beaches, apply velcro strip bindings in the cities, argue with Comcast in the fields, I shall not surrender. (I haz gravitas now! Kin I be Seniter from Moosessota?)

At a somewhat less loud and obscenity filled point in the proceedings, we noticed sounds and pictures coming from our big-screen Netflix and DVD watcher. I were confused, but Sweetheart, who possesses a memory, and far more patience than her idiot husband, told me "That's the local news, honey. And hush, I want to see this!"

The "this" she was referring to was a commercial for "Bring It On, the Musical", soon to be playing in town. Singing, Dancing, Tumbling, Stretcher-Bringing, live on stage! The Colors, the Lights, the... Ummm, I can't claim to have seen it, I tend to avoid films not made by Mel Brooks, Christopher Guest, or starring Unnameable Horrors and Eldritch Cetaceans, but wasn't this a movie once, Singing, Dancing, Tumbling, and through the magic of special effects, no Stretcher-Bringing? Colors, Lights, Seizures?

This was not a stretch, goddammit. Let's take a musical film and do a Musical! It would be like making Rent the Musical, Based on the Movie!**

I want to see these production companies take on a challenge - Reservoir Dogs, the Musical, Aria sung by Keitel! Andrew Lloyd Webber's Inception! Undefeated, in Mime (the only way I could stand to listen to that snowbilly lunatic)! You are professionals, with backing, experience, and technical expertise. Stretch your horizons!

*See the URL. Simple Little Electrician. I take electrical energy and convert it, through switching paths and devicing, to mechanical energy. That is to say, I take sparky thingys and make other whatsits go whirr, spinspinspin, hammerhammerhammer, boom. You show me a printed circuit board and I go looking for someone to give money to.

**Kidding, that would never happen.***

***See What I never mind.


  1. Bad Lieutenant, the Musical!

    Every time I see the title Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, I can't help but thinking of a porn spoof, Extremely Hard & Incredibly Big. It got so bad, I'd start laughing in the subway, which is a bit of a Noo Yawk breach of etiquette.

  2. As I understand things, they'll come up with that movie soon - I got yer back and timestamp for the copyright infringement lawsuit!

    And in Noo Yawk, if you laugh on the subway don't they tear you apart for spares? Midwesterner here, haven't ever been to the Big Malus Domestica, someday maybe and I'll need to know the rules...

    (The funniest spoof title I've heard of is 'Shaving Ryan's Privates'.)